mattbraunlin
Member
- Nov 1, 2023
- 87
- 83
An Odd Personal Reflection
My reason for writing this blurb is a bit ironic. It's also another journal blurb, as I call my writings of my own personal experiences. Many of my blurbs lately have been of this sort, and I hesitate to write another, but that's precisely where the irony comes in.
My academic life has been flourishing like never before. I am hard at work learning the German language, studying world history, reading and reflecting on Tolkien's massive literary universe, and of course, studying and memorizing Scripture. My heart, mind and soul have been feasting on intellectual and spiritual delicacies, and entirely on my own terms.
With all of this in mind, I am also quite puzzled, because even as I absorb knowledge and wisdom like a sponge, my own writing has dried up substantially. Blurb ideas have become few and far between, and most of them have been about my own personal journey as opposed to Biblical education or societal commentary.
I am never happier than when I am writing blurbs. It is the supreme Joy of my life to write this wonderful stuff that I know God will use in amazing ways when the time is right. But I have learned from experience that I cannot force them. When God crystallises an idea in my mind it practically writes itself, but until that happens I know better than to even try to make it happen myself. It's like trying to start a fire with wet matches.
I do pray for ideas. If a lot of my blurbs have been angry or ominous, I’ll pray for a happy idea to counterbalance them, and as I study God's word I am always prayerfully on the lookout for lessons I can teach others.
That's why this drought is so strange to me. At a time when my mind should be flooded with inspiration, I can hardly think of a thing. God’s presence in my life has never been stronger on a personal level, but when it comes to using me to bring his message to others, he has been largely silent.
I suppose my main point in writing this is that that’s okay. Silence is one of God's tools. Periods of silence from our Saviour are an integral part of our relationship with him. In his beloved book The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis reminds us that Christians are meant to walk with God, and in order for us to do so he must take away his hand.
This is a lifelong process, and it is not often fun. But it is also what helps us grow in our faith from stumbling toddlers to strong and sturdy men and women of God, who can follow his Son courageously, wherever he may lead us.
In some important ways, God has been silent in my life for quite a long time. But as a result I have grown strong. I am facing the trials of my life with a faith and grace that amazes me even now; rather than drown in despair or lash out at God in wrath (as I all too often used to do) I thought I'd sit down with you and have a chat, hopefully helping others who are waiting for God to speak into their lives.
If you have faith, God will always surprise you. I began this blurb reluctantly; I finish it Joyfully. I did not have high expectations for it, but I feel like it turned out pretty good. Writing it has helped me, and I hope reading it has helped you. If, like me, you are waiting on God, I do not pray that God would break his silence in your life, but rather that you would let him use that silence to give you a strength that you may not know you need.
I sure didn't.
My reason for writing this blurb is a bit ironic. It's also another journal blurb, as I call my writings of my own personal experiences. Many of my blurbs lately have been of this sort, and I hesitate to write another, but that's precisely where the irony comes in.
My academic life has been flourishing like never before. I am hard at work learning the German language, studying world history, reading and reflecting on Tolkien's massive literary universe, and of course, studying and memorizing Scripture. My heart, mind and soul have been feasting on intellectual and spiritual delicacies, and entirely on my own terms.
With all of this in mind, I am also quite puzzled, because even as I absorb knowledge and wisdom like a sponge, my own writing has dried up substantially. Blurb ideas have become few and far between, and most of them have been about my own personal journey as opposed to Biblical education or societal commentary.
I am never happier than when I am writing blurbs. It is the supreme Joy of my life to write this wonderful stuff that I know God will use in amazing ways when the time is right. But I have learned from experience that I cannot force them. When God crystallises an idea in my mind it practically writes itself, but until that happens I know better than to even try to make it happen myself. It's like trying to start a fire with wet matches.
I do pray for ideas. If a lot of my blurbs have been angry or ominous, I’ll pray for a happy idea to counterbalance them, and as I study God's word I am always prayerfully on the lookout for lessons I can teach others.
That's why this drought is so strange to me. At a time when my mind should be flooded with inspiration, I can hardly think of a thing. God’s presence in my life has never been stronger on a personal level, but when it comes to using me to bring his message to others, he has been largely silent.
I suppose my main point in writing this is that that’s okay. Silence is one of God's tools. Periods of silence from our Saviour are an integral part of our relationship with him. In his beloved book The Screwtape Letters, C.S. Lewis reminds us that Christians are meant to walk with God, and in order for us to do so he must take away his hand.
This is a lifelong process, and it is not often fun. But it is also what helps us grow in our faith from stumbling toddlers to strong and sturdy men and women of God, who can follow his Son courageously, wherever he may lead us.
In some important ways, God has been silent in my life for quite a long time. But as a result I have grown strong. I am facing the trials of my life with a faith and grace that amazes me even now; rather than drown in despair or lash out at God in wrath (as I all too often used to do) I thought I'd sit down with you and have a chat, hopefully helping others who are waiting for God to speak into their lives.
If you have faith, God will always surprise you. I began this blurb reluctantly; I finish it Joyfully. I did not have high expectations for it, but I feel like it turned out pretty good. Writing it has helped me, and I hope reading it has helped you. If, like me, you are waiting on God, I do not pray that God would break his silence in your life, but rather that you would let him use that silence to give you a strength that you may not know you need.
I sure didn't.
