My Sunday mornings were being sabotaged. Sunday after Sunday, I just got angry. When I was honest with myself, I realized it was anger tinged with jealousy. Jealousy toward my pastor husband, of all people! It didn’t seem fair that he got to slip out of our busy home early each Sunday morning to fine-tune his final preparations for the worship service while I was left to get the kids fed, dressed, and off to church all by myself.
And of course, the kids started picking up on my dismal mood and playing off it themselves. “Where’s Daddy? I need him!” “Why do we have to go to church today?” “But I don’t want to wear that shirt!” “Mom, where is my other shoe?” “Hey, that’s the cinnamon roll I wanted!” They could hear the tension rising in my voice as I tried to corral the four of them through breakfast and out the door in a mad dash to make it to church on time. And my impatience only intensified further with their teasing and squabbles on the way there. When I finally dropped the youngest off at the nursery and the three older ones settled beside me in the pew, I was in no mood to sing, pray, or even listen to their daddy preach.
One Sunday afternoon, while Ray and I were discussing how the morning went, I realized I wanted someone or something to blame for our acrimonious Sunday mornings. If only my husband weren’t a pastor, I’d have the help I needed on Sunday mornings. If only the kids were more cheerful, I could be less demanding. If only we had fixed the dishwasher, I wouldn’t feel so rushed with the clean-up before our Sunday lunch guests arrived. Those “if onlies” were a bottomless pit of self-centered excuses for why Sunday morning was the most challenging part of my week—and my children’s week, too.
After all, Ray and I wanted our children to grow up loving the church, eager to participate, and looking forward to Sunday mornings each week. But that would never happen if things didn’t change. I realized that making Sunday mornings less miserable and more fun was up to me. I was the real culprit. I was the one who needed to change.
If I wanted my children to experience Sunday morning as, “Yay! We get to go to church today!” rather than, “Do we have to go to church today?” they needed to see me live out that attitude before their eyes. I also knew it would take better organization and planning from me week-to-week. I asked the Lord to change my heart and my habits. I wanted to say with the apostle Paul, “I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls” (2 Cor. 12:15). I wanted to defy cheerfully Satan’s attempt to keep us from joyfully entering into the life of the Body of Christ.
I made a plan—a plan deliberately starting each Saturday, as I thought through meals, guests, and any special needs Ray or the children might have. At dinner on Saturday evening, I would eagerly ask, “Does anyone remember what day it is tomorrow? Yes, that’s right—it’s Sunday! The day when all around the world people gather to worship Jesus. And we get to join them!”
At bedtime, we would set out clothes for Sunday morning, starting with Mom’s! The kids had fun noticing that I was doing what I asked them to do, sometimes even helping me choose what I should wear, complete with shoes and jewelry. Then we would go to their rooms, ensuring everyone had parent-approved outfits and matching shoes. The older children would set out their Bibles and any offerings they would bring to church.
The next part of my plan involved Sunday meals. I decided to use my “D.E.E.P.” kind of meals for Sundays. Meals that were Delicious, Easy, Economical, and Personal. It worked best for us to have the same Sunday breakfast each week. This kept complaints to a minimum and took the pressure off me to decide what could entice the kids out of bed. I kept it simple but appealing, and the kids seemed to love the routine of refrigerated cinnamon rolls, scrambled eggs, and fruit. I thought through who would be joining us for Sunday dinner after church and prepared as much as I could Saturday evening, again finding some of my easier favorite recipes that would honor the needs of our guests and allow me to enter fully into our Sunday morning routines.
Over breakfast, I would talk with our children about the special morning ahead, the three hours out of all 168 hours in a week when we could worship God with our friends. We discussed where the children would be during Sunday School and the worship service. I reviewed our expected behavior, asking our children to give me and others around them the gift of quiet bodies and mouths so that we could pray and sing and listen uninterrupted, and I encouraged them to join in as they were able.
Then we cleared the table, re-set it for any Sunday guests who might be coming, and finally took care of all the final grooming details that made us ready to face our day together.
On the way home from church, I made sure to honor any child who had tried to obey with kindness and self-control. Around the dinner table, I would brag to their daddy about any good behavior I noticed, and they would light up under Ray’s enthusiastic approval.
Was it always a perfectly executed plan? No – not by any stretch of the imagination! We had our share of spilled milk, overcooked rolls, and sleepy, sluggish children. But this plan became the pathway to more peaceful Sunday mornings that we enjoyed rather than dreaded.
What would you like to see changed in your Sunday morning routine in your home? You don’t have to repeat what hasn’t been working this past year: Jesus is offering us freedom in our New Year. He can give us the insight, humility, and wisdom to leave behind what isn’t working. He will help you, as he helped me, to pave a new pathway for your family on Sundays. Why not welcome your family to a fresh start on Sunday mornings?
Think of everything your children will gain when you make it easier for them to enjoy the Lord’s Day. For starters:
And there is so much more!
Let’s ask the Lord to guide us into a peaceful and enticing new way forward for our Sunday mornings. Then we all can say, “I was glad when they said to me, ‘Let us go to the house of the Lord!” (Ps. 122:1).
The post Avoiding Sunday Morning Sabotage appeared first on Focus on the Family.
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And of course, the kids started picking up on my dismal mood and playing off it themselves. “Where’s Daddy? I need him!” “Why do we have to go to church today?” “But I don’t want to wear that shirt!” “Mom, where is my other shoe?” “Hey, that’s the cinnamon roll I wanted!” They could hear the tension rising in my voice as I tried to corral the four of them through breakfast and out the door in a mad dash to make it to church on time. And my impatience only intensified further with their teasing and squabbles on the way there. When I finally dropped the youngest off at the nursery and the three older ones settled beside me in the pew, I was in no mood to sing, pray, or even listen to their daddy preach.
The real culprit
One Sunday afternoon, while Ray and I were discussing how the morning went, I realized I wanted someone or something to blame for our acrimonious Sunday mornings. If only my husband weren’t a pastor, I’d have the help I needed on Sunday mornings. If only the kids were more cheerful, I could be less demanding. If only we had fixed the dishwasher, I wouldn’t feel so rushed with the clean-up before our Sunday lunch guests arrived. Those “if onlies” were a bottomless pit of self-centered excuses for why Sunday morning was the most challenging part of my week—and my children’s week, too.
Something needed to change
After all, Ray and I wanted our children to grow up loving the church, eager to participate, and looking forward to Sunday mornings each week. But that would never happen if things didn’t change. I realized that making Sunday mornings less miserable and more fun was up to me. I was the real culprit. I was the one who needed to change.
If I wanted my children to experience Sunday morning as, “Yay! We get to go to church today!” rather than, “Do we have to go to church today?” they needed to see me live out that attitude before their eyes. I also knew it would take better organization and planning from me week-to-week. I asked the Lord to change my heart and my habits. I wanted to say with the apostle Paul, “I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls” (2 Cor. 12:15). I wanted to defy cheerfully Satan’s attempt to keep us from joyfully entering into the life of the Body of Christ.
My Sunday morning secret
I made a plan—a plan deliberately starting each Saturday, as I thought through meals, guests, and any special needs Ray or the children might have. At dinner on Saturday evening, I would eagerly ask, “Does anyone remember what day it is tomorrow? Yes, that’s right—it’s Sunday! The day when all around the world people gather to worship Jesus. And we get to join them!”
At bedtime, we would set out clothes for Sunday morning, starting with Mom’s! The kids had fun noticing that I was doing what I asked them to do, sometimes even helping me choose what I should wear, complete with shoes and jewelry. Then we would go to their rooms, ensuring everyone had parent-approved outfits and matching shoes. The older children would set out their Bibles and any offerings they would bring to church.
The next part of my plan involved Sunday meals. I decided to use my “D.E.E.P.” kind of meals for Sundays. Meals that were Delicious, Easy, Economical, and Personal. It worked best for us to have the same Sunday breakfast each week. This kept complaints to a minimum and took the pressure off me to decide what could entice the kids out of bed. I kept it simple but appealing, and the kids seemed to love the routine of refrigerated cinnamon rolls, scrambled eggs, and fruit. I thought through who would be joining us for Sunday dinner after church and prepared as much as I could Saturday evening, again finding some of my easier favorite recipes that would honor the needs of our guests and allow me to enter fully into our Sunday morning routines.
Over breakfast, I would talk with our children about the special morning ahead, the three hours out of all 168 hours in a week when we could worship God with our friends. We discussed where the children would be during Sunday School and the worship service. I reviewed our expected behavior, asking our children to give me and others around them the gift of quiet bodies and mouths so that we could pray and sing and listen uninterrupted, and I encouraged them to join in as they were able.
Then we cleared the table, re-set it for any Sunday guests who might be coming, and finally took care of all the final grooming details that made us ready to face our day together.
On the way home from church, I made sure to honor any child who had tried to obey with kindness and self-control. Around the dinner table, I would brag to their daddy about any good behavior I noticed, and they would light up under Ray’s enthusiastic approval.
Was it always a perfectly executed plan? No – not by any stretch of the imagination! We had our share of spilled milk, overcooked rolls, and sleepy, sluggish children. But this plan became the pathway to more peaceful Sunday mornings that we enjoyed rather than dreaded.
“I was glad when they said to me, ‘Let us go to the house of the Lord!’” Psalm 122:1
What would you like to see changed in your Sunday morning routine in your home? You don’t have to repeat what hasn’t been working this past year: Jesus is offering us freedom in our New Year. He can give us the insight, humility, and wisdom to leave behind what isn’t working. He will help you, as he helped me, to pave a new pathway for your family on Sundays. Why not welcome your family to a fresh start on Sunday mornings?
Think of everything your children will gain when you make it easier for them to enjoy the Lord’s Day. For starters:
- A chance to store up more of God’s Word in their hearts, keeping them from sin (Ps. 119:11)
- The hope that comes from hearing about the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders he has done (Ps. 78:4-7)
- The courage that grows by seeing an older generation praise God (Ps. 79:13; Jer. 32:39)
- The security that comes from growing up in a family totally committed to Christ (Is. 33:6)
And there is so much more!
Let’s ask the Lord to guide us into a peaceful and enticing new way forward for our Sunday mornings. Then we all can say, “I was glad when they said to me, ‘Let us go to the house of the Lord!” (Ps. 122:1).
The post Avoiding Sunday Morning Sabotage appeared first on Focus on the Family.
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