I have been trying to decide whether or not to be Baptised for a while, as I want to commit to Christianity, but I sometimes have doubts in Faith. Somedays I can be fully Christian, while on other days my Faith is weak. If Baptism represents an 'inward change', I couldn't in all honesty say that I have had that inward change yet, at least on the majority of days, although I can feel fully Christian on others.
Christianity is ultimately about a Person, not a system of beliefs, of religious propositions. That Person is God, of course, who has "put skin on" in the Person of Jesus Christ, dwelling among us for a time, and who has given to those who've trusted in Christ as their Savior and yielded themselves to him as their Lord, the Holy Spirit (
Romans 10:9-10; James 4:6-10; Titus 3:5; Romans 8:9-14). God has done all of this so that you and I can enjoy Him in direct, personal fellowship all the time, not simply come to be related to Him as a member of His kingdom.
Revelation 3:20
20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.
1 John 1:3
3 ... our fellowship is with the Father and with his Son Jesus Christ.
2 Corinthians 13:14
14 The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.
1 Corinthians 6:19-20
19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own,
20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
Psalm 36:7-9
7 How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
8 They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights.
9 For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light.
I mention all this because it is an experience of the life and work of the Holy Spirit that is the means whereby a Christian enjoys personal fellowship with God. Such an experience is actually basic, normal Christianity and is an essential basis upon which to establish one's membership in God's family. But, as is the case with all relationships, one's experience of God the Holy Spirit takes time to grow and mature, the full effects of his presence only becoming evident gradually.
Often, though, the new believer hasn't any idea what life in the Spirit looks like, what it is they are to be looking for, and recognizing as evidence of, the Holy Spirit having made of them his "temple." And so, these Christians can vacillate widely in their confidence that they're really one of God's own. So, then, what does "life in the Spirit" look like?
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 20 For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body. A few years ago now, I was talking with a young man...
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2 Corinthians 3:17-18 17 Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18 And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who...
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Philippians 2:12-13 12 ...work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure. Perhaps in no other area, spiritually, is there more confusion than in the area of how the born-again person "works out their...
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John 14:16-17 16 And I will pray to the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; 17 Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it sees him not, neither knows him: but you know him; for he dwells with you, and shall be in...
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It's in reflection of what the Holy Spirit has done in you that baptism is performed. Ideally, it is to serve, in part, as a way of connecting belief to action, of "completing" a saving faith in Jesus Christ, which is why it was, in the record of the NT, done right on the heels of a profession of faith in Jesus. As the apostle James pointed out, Christian faith is never to be merely intellectual assent to the truth propositions of Christianity but expressed in corresponding deeds (
James 2:14-26). This relationship between faith and action, illustrated in baptism, is lost when years of time intervene between the moment of conversion and baptism.
The ten commandments tell us “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour”, and I feel that to publicly state faith in Christ would be lying, if I was going through weak faith on the specific day my Baptism falls on. I feel ready to follow Christ, and want to feel part of Christianity, but am really struggling over this particular hurdle, perhaps really just wanting the 'inward change' to happen. I have attended Church for over 15 years, and have gone through this cycle of thinking repeatedly over the past few years.
In light of what the Bible indicates about those who are indwelt by the Holy Spirit, do you have good cause to think you're God's child? If so, get baptized!