Bible Study Biblical authority for "Do as I say, not as I do...

[cyberjosh]

Although this is an unfortunate scenario and not one you would want to be in often, there are instances where you can make a correct judgement for someone else to do even though you yourself may not comply to it 100%. Surely even pastors fall under this category for no one is perfect. But the most prominent thing in my mind for bringing up this topic is that when I was growing up I recall several times teenagers retorting to their parents command to do something, "Oh, so it's 'Do as I say, and not as I do' huh?", in a rebelious way of making an excuse not to do something.

This is a fallacy for a teenager to try to make such an excuse to not obey their parents. The Bible commands, "Children obey your parents for this is right." For the sake of this excercise I will assume a Christian family headed by Christian parents to avoid unnecessary complications in my analogy.

There is a clear cut instance of Jesus promoting "Do as they say, but not as they do" when it came to obeying teachers of the law, because they had authority:

"Then Jesus spoke to the multitudes and to His disciples, saying: “The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, that observe and do, but do not do according to their works; for they say, and do not do. For they bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers. " (Matthew 23:1-5)

This should also be the same in the household, even if the parents don't do as they tell you to behave, because they are the ones responsible for correct judgement on behavior and moral issues. If your parents tell you not to smoke, yet one of your own parents smokes, then out of respect for their authority that God has given them obey them and do not retort with "Oh, so it's 'Do as I say, and not as I do" huh?' because actually the answer is yes, you are supposed to do what they tell you (provided it is in line with Biblical & moral behavior - I'm not talking about extreme cases) even if they do not do it themselves. At the very least your parents should have the best intentions for you even if you don't agree with everything they tell you.

 

[Jon-Marc]

I've often wondered if God expects children to obey ungodly parents who command them to do immoral or illegal things.

 

[cyberjosh]

I've often wondered if God expects children to obey ungodly parents who command them to do immoral or illegal things.

Of course not. The Bible tells believers to obey their parents and to obey government but the there is an implied limitation of doing so inside a Biblical (moral) framework. When The Sanhedrin (government) told the disciples to stop preaching about Jesus they said, "We must obey God rather than men!" (Acts 5:29)

 

[Jon-Marc]

Of course not. The Bible tells believers to obey their parents and to obey government but the there is an implied limitation of doing so inside a Biblical (moral) framework. When The Sanhedrin (government) told the disciples to stop preaching about Jesus they said, "We must obey God rather than men!" (Acts 5:29)

Then why did He say in Colossians 3:20, "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."? Surely He doesn't expect children to be led into wickedness simply because they are commanded to obey their parents "in all things"? There has to be a limit as to how far a child is expected to obey. If a non-Christian parent commands his child not to pray, read his Bible, or go to church, is he supposed to obey that? However, what child has the wisdom to know what is right to obey and what isn't?

 

[Gabbylittleangel]

I've often wondered if God expects children to obey ungodly parents who command them to do immoral or illegal things.

Jon, No He does not.

You will never meet parents more ungodly than the folks that raised me.
If I obeyed them, I would have renounced my faith in Jesus Christ and be in the mafia.

 

[cyberjosh]

Then why did He say in Colossians 3:20, "Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord."? Surely He doesn't expect children to be led into wickedness simply because they are commanded to obey their parents "in all things"? There has to be a limit as to how far a child is expected to obey. If a non-Christian parent commands his child not to pray, read his Bible, or go to church, is he supposed to obey that? However, what child has the wisdom to know what is right to obey and what isn't?

Just explained it above, the implied exception is that it must be within a Biblical (moral) framework. In this particular verse look at what it assumes: that it is "well pleasing to the Lord". A wicked command would not fit this criterea. If you look a few verses before this we see "Wives sumbit to your husbands." Yet we see that the Bible allows divorce, are these two contadictory? No. The Bible is full of implied exceptions in the context of who the words are addressed to to and why. When Jesus was proving that it was ok to do good on the Sabbath, which would seem to be a contradiction of the command to not work on the Sabbath, Jesus showed the true nature of the command by demonstrating something quite amazing: the priests in the Temple worked on the Sabbath, yet were guiltless (Matthew 12:5).

This is why you must never isolate a scripture and build a theological system out of it without regarding other verses. The Pharisees did this and missed the whole point of the command.

 

[Jon-Marc]

How many of you had loving, caring fathers? I didn't. How many of you know what it's like to have an abusive, domineering father? I know. He is in control and will do whatever it takes to have his way.

 

[golfjack]

reply

My Father who has passed away was passive to the point where my Mother ruled. My mother is the one who is dominering. This caused much low self-esteem in my life. She also verbbally abused by telling I would amount to nothing. She didn't even go to my graduation at Bible College ( Rhema). I got better when I realized that Jesus Christ took upon himself all my sins, my blame and guilt.



May God bless, golfjack

 

[cyberjosh]

How many of you had loving, caring fathers?

I actually did. He raised me with the word of God and would tell me why he would spank & discipline me each time, often with a Bible verse.

I didn't. How many of you know what it's like to have an abusive, domineering father? I know.

I'm very sorry to hear that. Seriously.

He is in control and will do whatever it takes to have his way.

If you are struggling with your concience because your dad physically and perhaps mentally domineered this authority over you then you don't have to worry. Obviously many things were out of your control. If you wish to find some answers of how to cope with family like that yet still live the Christian life perhaps you can find someone who has gone through the same thing and see how God worked in their life. Emotional scars are hard to heal but God offers love freely and will always be a loving father to you, no matter how hard it may be to visualize a loving father if you didn't grow up having one.

I have many friends that don't have a good relationship with their parents either, so I know your pain from what I see them going through. I hope you know that I am here to pray for you at any time. My goal is to divide the Word of truth correctly and to help people put Biblical doctrine into perspective so that they can use it to help them in their daily life & even struggles. I have dedicated years to studying the Bible to answer hard moral questions in my own life and I am more than glad (and feel obligated) to spread what I have learned to help other people out and help them through hard times and hard questions which may plague them, confuse them, or prevent them from coming to a more intimate understanding of God. My passion is to love people and to help them understand God and his Word better to the best of my ability, for I still struggle in my understanding in many areas and would hope for nothing less than for someone to do the same to me by helping me out in my struggles in my Christian life.

Right now in a way I am suffering silently in that respect because I do not have many friends and I seem to be (not speaking pridefully) the most mature in the faith of my friends so I often can't fall back on them for difficult questions. I have to rely on God through prayer, and let me tell you: its a real battle. I'm in one right now, and I pray to God I make it through with a better perspective in life and a better relationship with God.

But when I try to give you some advice and answers from the Bible I try to tell you to help you and aid you in trying to understand God and his commandments, despite difficult doctrines and sometime painful experiences God lets us go through. I have found out through many trials that God can use suffereing for a chance for his mercy and grace to help us through. There will always be tough moral questions but I believe that if one truely seeks the answer from God on any issue, if they pray and meditate on God's Word, that they can and will find a proper answer, and it will cause a breakthough in their understanding in life and give them peace and hope.

May God bless you my brother,

~Josh