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Cats and Humans

G

Gargantuas

Guest
Cats and Humans


Cats and humans; never have two creatures been so close while being such polar opposites. They are aloof while being needy. They can be unexpectedly communal while remaining in fierce competition with their fellows.

They are wise in their silence. They seem to possess language skills but mostly communicate in stealth mode via a series of movements that we are supposed to know. When they do speak it is usually random, caustic babblings, a secret code known only to them. They recognize their name but have no idea why you keep saying it.

We guard them, provide for their nutritional and sanitary needs, and secure the finest in comfortable environments but still it is typically not good enough and they maintain the option to leave on a whim. They make messes and feel no obligation to clean them. Should you face a crisis they will assist you only if it does not interfere with their sleep pattern.

They are lazy. To codify their lackadaisical outlook they interrupt our work only at the apex of activity as if to say, “I’m the one in charge here.†They will awaken you hours before the alarm goes off pretending that they have an important schedule to keep. They love to fall asleep in the warm glow of a television set. They are, in effect, commercial-free reality shows in which the characters are much more entertaining. Even in the largest house the only place they can find to rest is usually where you happen to be at any moment.

With minimal activity and short, terse vocalizations they emit a siren’s call to sign an unwritten contract which exchanges loyalty, tenderness, and duty in exchange for naught but infidelity, conditional love, and optional compliance.

They are great thinkers. They will carefully ponder a situation, sometimes for hours; come to sound conclusions and then not share the results on their query. While possessing substantial intellect they are mostly creatures of pure emotion. They are elitists who fain interest in others only when it suits their immediate need for gratification.

After long hours and strenuous effort they can be trained. Whether or not the training is ever actually demonstrated is entirely up to them. You try your best to control them but they look silly on a leash.

They are essentially amoral. They employ affection as a emergency switch to get what they want. They love to hunt but seldom eat their prey. They are easily entertained but quickly bored. They will ignore toys unless you play with them first and they can be easily stolen. While they maintain a strict diet they will pretend to be lovers of any food that delights you.

They are great parents who quickly forget about their children. They mature rapidly while always standing on the cusp of infantile hysterics. They are always ready to share with you their odors. If they make a mistake they will immediately pretend that was their idea originally or they will blame you in order to recover their dignity.

Their mere presence can inspire us. While practicing no recognized religion, living with them somehow brings us closer to the Divine. They lead meditations with the skill of a priest. They teach humility with the authority of a rabbi. Offering no absolution, they act as a confessor. And, like any good choir director, they want you to perform on cue and from the heart. All these tasks are obliged by an unlicensed, unordained personality who never changes vestments. They commit blasphemy through their comical, heretical belief that they are God.

And sometimes I wonder, “How do humans see us cats?â€Â

Sweetie Goldtrap is a 5 year old tabby from Davenport, Florida. Her two pets are Jason and Jamie.
 
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