[__ Prayer __] coldness.

[YosefHayim]

I told my fellowship group to take my number off the mass text thing. I have work that day, but I would have probably done the same if I didn't work. I stopped doing the parking lot traffic. I stopped breaking down on sundays. I'm withdrawing from church. I feel alone there. Even when people come up and talk to me. It feels superficial. I feel bitter towards people. I don't want to be near people. I just wanna give up. It seems like a monotonous, and useless endeavor. I can't sleep. I have no vision, direction, opportunity. I feel like I pass up opportunities. I feel like a mistake of mistakes. I wanna leave my family, and everyone. And just leave to somewhere unknown by them. I wanna quit my job. I have no motivation. I feel cold. I feel heartless. I feel like I don't know how to love as a Christian. I feel like I have no use. I just don't know.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I don't quite know what to say, but...I'm praying.

 

[Eugene]

Dear Brother @YosefHayim, it sounds as if God has brought you to the end of you, and leaves you free to learn of Him in the way you should go. In your present assembling together you are in the position of busy. I’ll just suggest you seek a more personal interaction in a small assembly purposed on learning the word of God, and the so-called social gospel given out in many places.

I’ve never understood what ministry directing traffic, or the many other things assigned by some of the mega churches do to further the word of God. I've also never heard of the pastors seeking such positions.

Mat 11:29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.
2 Pet 3:18 But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.

I do not know all else that Mary may have been doing, but in it she knew the Lord deeper than her sister Martha.
Luk 10:39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.
Luk 10:40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
Luk 10:41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
Luk 10:42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.
I'm praying you find the peace afforded us in Christ Jesus.

 

[GrannyJ]

Dear Yosef, I am praying that God will be very close to you in this time of trouble, and that he will lead you into fellowship with Christians who will uplift you and be there for you when you are down. May he bring joy back to your heart, and a deep sense of being in the centre of his love and purpose. You expect a lot of yourself, but none of us are perfect, yet God continues to love us.

 

[Christ_empowered]

OK, I'm not a health pro, but...could you address the lack of sleep? I mean, supplements, Rx stuff, whatever you gotta do...lack of sleep can wreck you physically, not to mention the mental+emotional ill effects of insomnia. Just a thought.

I agree w/ GrannyJ. You're very hard on yourself. I hope you can get some sleep and start to feel God's love for you and the people around you.

 

[Kathi]

 

[YosefHayim]

Be cautious with the MSG version. They exchanged the LORD's prayer with the hermetic occult phrase "as above so below".

OK, I'm not a health pro, but...could you address the lack of sleep? I mean, supplements, Rx stuff, whatever you gotta do...lack of sleep can wreck you physically, not to mention the mental+emotional ill effects of insomnia. Just a thought.

I agree w/ GrannyJ. You're very hard on yourself. I hope you can get some sleep and start to feel God's love for you and the people around you.

I just don't feel like sleeping. I hate my job. When I was on unemployment, I learned a lot. I was reading a lot. Now that I have a job, I feel like I don't have enough time to even focus on a few pages. I hate this fake economy. I'm not against working to get what you need. I'm against this deliberately messed up slave system. There's just no motivation to be found in anything. I don't feel like sleeping. I think about a lot, and it keeps me up. I'm not going to take any meds just to sleep. Meds will just wreck me as much as lack of sleep will.

 

[Blake]

Psalm 55 is a go-to for me when I feel this way... especially, my brother, verses 6 through 7. Oh that I had wings like a dove! I would flee far away, and dwell within the wilderness.

I think, sometimes, we as Christians believe it is un-befitting or somehow wrong for us to enter into a season such as this. But the Bible disagrees. Being as one given over at times to world-weariness and a solitary, if not nearly-hermetic nature, I can say I empathize and understand and I will pray for you. But I know one thing for an absolute certainty Yosef, and that is this: There is no low valley or dry desert that we find ourselves in which God is not using for our endurance. There is no heat of fire and flame which God subjects us to which is not for our purification. There is no pruning by the hand of God which comes that is not to make us once again fruitful. Yes indeed my brother and I say it with rejoicing, you will come through refined, you will come through fruitful, and you will come through blazing yet not consumed, archetypal of the burning bush of Moses. You are not here because you are outside of the favor of the Lord. You are here because you will lessen and He will increase.