So...I'm a complete outcast in college. I make good grades and all...but...in the social sphere....well let's say things aren't going so well...I'm not the typical young adult in that I'm still afraid to crack out of my shell and take on the adult world, whereas most college kids leap at the opportunity for independence. it's hard for me to fit into the "drink and party" mentality of a vast majority of my peers...every time i think i'm starting to not stick out like a sore thumb, lo and behold...it becomes obvious again that i'm different and strange...People will talk to me, but only so long as I am taking a class with them and they need my help with their homework or with projects, but after that, all communication is cut off...Today, some guy on the street threatened me in a very boisterous manner; it was a hollow threat and amounted to nothing, but it was hurtful and reminded me that I am a total loser and have no place in the social structure not only of college, but of this world. What should I do? Just shrug it off? Try to fit in? I don't know which is worse.
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college outcast?
- Thread starter julie89
- Start date
Blazin Bones
Member
Don't fit in with the social structure of the whole world? Now that just isn't the Case. I for one am glad to have another Christian around this site, but rest assured, you don't need to fall into the background here too. We who claim Christ are all outcasts in a way, Jesus warned us that we would be. This is why we were instructed to encourage each other and as Hebrews 10:25 reminds us that we cannot give up in gathering together as who we are. Julie, I know I'm not the only user on this site who will tell you, you have a place here and we are glad you've come.
As for mingling, it's tough when no one holds to the same Godly standards, or even some of them. Just pray that God will bring Godly people into your life not just online but in face to face life as well. I'll be sure to pray too.
As for mingling, it's tough when no one holds to the same Godly standards, or even some of them. Just pray that God will bring Godly people into your life not just online but in face to face life as well. I'll be sure to pray too.
Blazin Bones
Member
Who said everyone sees you like that? I know I do not. Also, even if many do, why let their opinions get you down? I know though out high school I was a loser to plenty, but I found friends in places I wouldn't normally. I didn't look for buddies or aquantances my age, I just found friends in any form they came. I tell you, I had plenty of friends that knew there was no loser here, just someone with a very different set of standards.
S
shutin45
Guest
Dear Julie89,
THE DEVIL IS A LIAR. Evil is rejoicing seeing how it's getting to you, and God/Jesus is saddened that you're not happy and believing what the Bible says rather than your "thoughts". You won't grow and get to where God needs you to be until you overcome with His help.
You are the apple of His eye!!
He LOVES YOU and loved you and designed you before you were even born!!
He has plans for you. Plans to prosper you and do other good things for you!!
On the cross, He possibly saw your face!!
STOP BELIEVING SUCH and LETTING negative thoughts torment you. You have to CHOOSE to change your thinking, and whenever you start with the "stinking thinking" again, you need to pray AND do something to distract yourself. Don't LET evil win my little sister!!
Sigh.......
I'll pray for ya some more. My daughters have the same problems (less the guilt and shame) because they're not worldly "party animals". They're GREAT people but have few friends because few others want friends they can't have sex with, get drunk or drugged with, or sit around and talk "worldly talk" with.
Hang in there girl!!
Your Brother in Christ,
Jim
THE DEVIL IS A LIAR. Evil is rejoicing seeing how it's getting to you, and God/Jesus is saddened that you're not happy and believing what the Bible says rather than your "thoughts". You won't grow and get to where God needs you to be until you overcome with His help.
You are the apple of His eye!!
He LOVES YOU and loved you and designed you before you were even born!!
He has plans for you. Plans to prosper you and do other good things for you!!
On the cross, He possibly saw your face!!
STOP BELIEVING SUCH and LETTING negative thoughts torment you. You have to CHOOSE to change your thinking, and whenever you start with the "stinking thinking" again, you need to pray AND do something to distract yourself. Don't LET evil win my little sister!!
Sigh.......
I'll pray for ya some more. My daughters have the same problems (less the guilt and shame) because they're not worldly "party animals". They're GREAT people but have few friends because few others want friends they can't have sex with, get drunk or drugged with, or sit around and talk "worldly talk" with.
Hang in there girl!!
Your Brother in Christ,
Jim
Blazin Bones
Member
Jim's has some good thoughts. The neat thing about being a Christian is that we never have to meet one another to encourage each other to Godliness and greater hopes for life. We care about you and support you.
I've felt the loneliness nightly before and Jim is right that it is a trick of the enemy. You have a very dear friend who wants you to turn to him in all of your hard times, and that is Jesus. So you can't see him, oh well. You can talk to him anytime and spend as much time with him as you want.
I've felt the loneliness nightly before and Jim is right that it is a trick of the enemy. You have a very dear friend who wants you to turn to him in all of your hard times, and that is Jesus. So you can't see him, oh well. You can talk to him anytime and spend as much time with him as you want.
A
atheiststudent
Guest
You don't sound like a loser to me at all. You'd be surprised how many students aren't into the drink and party thing, you just need to find them. Does your college have clubs? In my second year I got involved in campus clubs (mostly related to different subjects, eg, The Classical and Religious Studies Students' Association, The Yoga Club, The Fencing Club). Many sporting or art clubs are happy to take new members with no experience and teach them everything they need to know, and many of the academic clubs aren't totally focused on drinking. If your school does have clubs I'd encourage you to pick one that sounds interesting and go to an event. You might be surprised how quickly they want you to be a club officer.
You could also think about student government if it exists at your school. They are not always the popularity contests they were in high school. I'm proof it's possible to win on platform, rather than having a bunch of friends in frats and sororities.
Does you school have intramural sports teams? They often play in a relaxed attitude and aren't very competitive, and can be a great way to meet people.
If all that fails, see what volunteer opportunities there are, both on and off campus. They are often a good way to meet lots of friendly people.
You could also think about student government if it exists at your school. They are not always the popularity contests they were in high school. I'm proof it's possible to win on platform, rather than having a bunch of friends in frats and sororities.
Does you school have intramural sports teams? They often play in a relaxed attitude and aren't very competitive, and can be a great way to meet people.
If all that fails, see what volunteer opportunities there are, both on and off campus. They are often a good way to meet lots of friendly people.
C
carbon
Guest
You're not a loser. If you were, then I would be, too :P But I'm quite content with myself. I don't drink and I don't party. I also don't care if people shun me for that. Get yourself a small group of non-academic people that you hang out with every once in awhile. Like I have my horse people. I've also been involved in a couple of student groups. I've probably annoyed my student groups, but eh. I'm about to graduate. And I think I'm still on good terms with them. Nonetheless, they're a great way to meet people with similar interests.
Let me be a little brutally honest with you. Because I sure felt a lot more like a loser awhile back. Get more self-esteem. Get more self-pride, self-confidence. Be proud of who you are. You're a great person in your own right. But that was the difference for me. It was self-confidence. It's a tricky thing to get. Find a person you like talking to a good deal and they'll probably help your self-confidence...outside of the classroom and perhaps even your activities.
Oh...Do NOT try to fit in. You lose who you are. Be yourself. That is the most important thing. I'm quite happy with my weirdness. And I'm...I don't fit in any of my groups, really. There will be one aspect of me (at least) that will make someone in one of my groups go o.O And I'm fine with it. I wish you the best of luck. It's a tricky thing to do.
Let me be a little brutally honest with you. Because I sure felt a lot more like a loser awhile back. Get more self-esteem. Get more self-pride, self-confidence. Be proud of who you are. You're a great person in your own right. But that was the difference for me. It was self-confidence. It's a tricky thing to get. Find a person you like talking to a good deal and they'll probably help your self-confidence...outside of the classroom and perhaps even your activities.
Oh...Do NOT try to fit in. You lose who you are. Be yourself. That is the most important thing. I'm quite happy with my weirdness. And I'm...I don't fit in any of my groups, really. There will be one aspect of me (at least) that will make someone in one of my groups go o.O And I'm fine with it. I wish you the best of luck. It's a tricky thing to do.
Flaccid Rigidity
Member
How's this for outcast? I was kicked out of the Methodist foundation permanently and before that for a month. I was kicked out of the Baptist ministry several times. I have had people cut in front of me in line in the cafeteria. I have almost been expelled for starting a student organization that people thought was racist. I have been searched numerous times for weapons when I made clear that I don't carry weapons on me. I have had more reports, false and otherwise, against me then most people get in 12 years of public schooling.
In high school and junior high, I was sent to alternative school for political views, suspended 3 times, assaulted, had part of my lunch stolen in 10th grade every other day, had some gay princess dude give me a titty twister every time we saw each other and the teachers would do nothing about it, and was ridiculed by everyone for most of my time in public school.
And then ultimately, 6 months before I was supposed to graduate, I was practically expelled, although not officially because I hurt a wee-wee whiny teacher's feelings because I was tired and dozed off in class.
I took the GED, scored in the top 2% and qualified for a pretty decent scholarship of like $1500 or something and the fool counselors never told me and I missed the deadline. Found out about a year later my GED scores qualified me for this scholarship.
Also in the 8th grade I was goosed (poked in the buttocks) with a pencil by the biggest guy in school who had failed something like two times already. The fool teacher did nothing about it.
Then a black girl flashed me during class and exposed her breast and the teacher refused to do anything about it claiming that I had lied.
In high school and junior high, I was sent to alternative school for political views, suspended 3 times, assaulted, had part of my lunch stolen in 10th grade every other day, had some gay princess dude give me a titty twister every time we saw each other and the teachers would do nothing about it, and was ridiculed by everyone for most of my time in public school.
And then ultimately, 6 months before I was supposed to graduate, I was practically expelled, although not officially because I hurt a wee-wee whiny teacher's feelings because I was tired and dozed off in class.
I took the GED, scored in the top 2% and qualified for a pretty decent scholarship of like $1500 or something and the fool counselors never told me and I missed the deadline. Found out about a year later my GED scores qualified me for this scholarship.
Also in the 8th grade I was goosed (poked in the buttocks) with a pencil by the biggest guy in school who had failed something like two times already. The fool teacher did nothing about it.
Then a black girl flashed me during class and exposed her breast and the teacher refused to do anything about it claiming that I had lied.
Blazin Bones
Member
All that to say what exactly flaccid?
Our brethren here are giving you good advice, Julie, but the best advice of all is for you not to take for granted that you have a relationship with Jesus, something that most people actually don't have, and you know where that gets them. Take it from someone who once thought he lost Jesus: Quit feeling sorry for yourself, no matter how bad things are, and leap with joy that your name is not blotted out of the Lamb's book of life! College prat boys boast of how many girls they slept with, but you can boast of the cross! And hey, a really cool person is talking to you right now, and he wants to be your friend! lol