[__ Prayer __] considering applying for disability due to autism. maybe. (long. yes, please give me advice if you can.)

[evenifigoalone]

I have always had sensory issues at my job that wax and wane depending on many factors. Right now, heading into the heavy sensory overload season, what with the holidays coming up soon.
I am very lucky to work in a small store. I am 100% certain that I would have to quit work due to severe overwhelm anywhere else, as it pertains to retail and customer service. (I come very close to having meltdowns when I go to Walmart even as a customer, for instance.)

And even at this job, I get severely overwhelmed frequently. It certainly affects my ability to address customers in any sort of ideal fashion. Cuz when I'm in that state of overwhelm, keeping up the behaviors necessary for "excellent customer service" takes a crapton of energy and is only maintainable in bursts. It is absolutely exhausting and I often become extremely angry because there is no escaping the situation. (I am, at least, good at masking my anger.)

I am mainly just considering this for my future. I don't know if I will always have this job with the more ideal environment than most like it, for me and my needs. I don't necessarily want to stop working. For the most part, I am in good graces with management. In good favor, even. I feel that there are or may be opportunities to advance to better paying positions.

The question is, can I work and be the employee I would need to be, without it impacting my health? I don't know if I can. While I was promoted last year and am doing well in that position, it doesn't take much to send me into overwhelm and even burnout. I was in extreme burnout earlier this year, for a couple months. This was when my workplace was undergoing remodel, and it placed extra strain on my senses. I was so exhausted all the time, to the point that if I wasn't at work I was definitely asleep or lying down feeling like I was unable to move.

All that said. Another career has been suggested to me, that may be more in line with my strengths. And it would have a good probability of being remote work, at my own pace: medical coding.

I will say, I am at least grateful for the things I have gained from my current job. I have been able to learn better social interactions via trial and error. I went from being extremely and painfully socially awkward to confident and appearing almost normal to others. The work environment in terms of coworkers and management is good and pleasant. Customers who are regulars like me and some have even said I'm their favorite cashier. It's a good place.

I just don't know what's best for me at this point. Disability is very limiting in terms of money. It locks you into poverty. I know this from experience having grown up with a parent who lived on disability. But I also want to have a secure source of income for my future, and if I will have trouble holding down jobs, disability benefits might be my best bet.

That said, I am nowhere close to losing my current job. I am in good standing there. I just hide the areas where I struggle very well. Doesn't mean I don't struggle.

What do?

 

[mattbraunlin]

This is a lovely testimony. I truly admire your courage in sharing it and in doing your best to live a good and normal life. I have bipolar disorder which has deeply affected my work performance over the years so at least on that level I can relate.

First of all, you should pray without ceasing. Remember that you belong to a good and loving Saviour who has a plan for your life.

And you are right about disability. There is certainly nothing wrong with applying for it if you feel it's the best option, but it is limiting and if you are not careful it can start to define you.

Just remember that pain and suffering are God's tools. They strengthen you and draw you near to him. I know that for a fact. If you experience pain at work, that may be a good thing because it draws you near to Jesus and makes you a warrior. But if it becomes too much, then applying for disability is not a defeat, and there are other ways to draw close to God.

I will pray for you, and I trust that God will show you the right path if you cling to him with all your strength.

God bless you!

 

[Christ_empowered]

Praying

 

[daninthelionsden]

Before trying to get on disability, you should pay careful attention what is happening to both me and CE. We are under constant attack for, what I believe, being on disability. Those with physical disabilities seem to be more readily accepted by society than those with psycho/emo problems.
You should explore the disability laws in your state as to whether your state has parity laws. Parity ensures your type of disability is on a par with physical disabilities. Here in Texas, there is no Parity protections and I am tested like garbage by local, state and federal entities.
If someone were to ask me about disability, I would say not to do it unless absolutely necessary. If you do get on disability then get back off as soon as possible. If you get on and stay on disability, you can expect to be socially astracized

 

[Christ_empowered]

Yeah….

Mixed bag . Glad there’s something of a safety net left. Not fun when people take my mail get hostile with me and openly talk about appointing conservators etc…

Because I receive disability. Ugh oh and at stores it can get bad like getting deliberately dented cans of pumpkin at curbside because I’m on disability. True story. And yet…

People are overrated in general and it works out well in my situation. The health coverage is key in my world . Some people qualify for work incentive programs that I think can result in keeping medical coverage but reducing payments over time. I’d be interested if I wasn’t such an outcast.

 

[evenifigoalone]

Disability payments are very limited and limiting, so this is my main deterrent from applying. I think at this time I am leaning towards working on a different career.
Medical coding involves (I think) working out people's medical bills and such using codes for diagnoses?? Something to that effect. I think going on disability would be my final option, basically after all others have been exhausted.

Regardless, I am realizing that my autism, though I am "high functioning" absolutely is a disability. (I mean, if it weren't I wouldn't have ADA work accommodations.)

 

[daninthelionsden]

Have you thought about librarian or assistant thereof?

 

[evenifigoalone]

I suppose. I would prefer something less customer facing, but it would be a much quieter environment.

 

[evenifigoalone]

I just know that it sucks sometimes. Accommodations can only be provided when reasonable, and with how frequently I become overwhelmed, asking for breaks whenever I am sufficiently overwhelmed just isn't possible or reasonable.

I am most overwhelmed when the lines are backed way up and the registers are full. All the little noises add up and make me want to jump out of my skin. But they need me in that moment, so I cannot just jump off the register and go calm down. Even if I am on the verge of melting down, which is sometimes the case, there is no way to exit the situation and nothing to do but use momentary coping mechanisms like grasping a fidget toy or breathing slowly.

My accommodations include being able to split my one break in up to three increments, and to be able to use noise reduction devices (so long as they aren't over-the-ear). These things help, but don't cover it all.

 

[daninthelionsden]

Maybe a stocker at Barnes& Noble. Just move books to there proper place on the shelves. Or grocery store stocker.
My wife does medical billing, but she gets stressed and gets migraines from it......very tedious.

 

[Christ_empowered]

I dunno

I’d personally go ahead and apply. Not to be a bummer bob but odds are pretty good you’ll be denied the first time. And…

While that’s ongoing I’d look at the work incentives. Rules are complicated and each individual situation is unique but…

Maybe you could get disability and eventually do part time medical billing? Of course there are disability attorneys. And disability advocates…former ssa employees who will help guide you if they think your case is strong enough. The latter cost less. The attorneys might push through to a win that would not have happened without their expertise.

Ok praying