Couple Love as Godly Love

[Roberto Cisneros]

There is so much to be said about love, but Godly love is the best kind of love for a couple. Julia and I (Roberto) in our own words—

Roberto: “Love is patient and love is kind” are more than a moniker tossed into wedding ceremonies, they are Scripture. Julia and I have had our ups and downs. We met in college in Mexico. She was ahead of me, already doing a masters while I was still an undergrad. Seminary brought us to the US and we have stayed and served here ever since. We have a wonderful batch of cute kids to call our own. But we have neglected each other before, and even ministry consumed me and my wife fell into infidelity. It’s embarrassing a bit to mention, but it is important that people know that you can come back from it. God restored our marriage and because of our mutual repentance, God’s healing has redefined us as a couple. We are more in love now than ever! And yes, the trust does come back, especially once the root of the sin is discovered and properly dealt with.

Julia: I appreciate my loving husband’s patience with me. There was a rough patch in our marriage that turned from months to years. It’s not just about sex, though that is VERY IMPORTANT too. It was emotional and spiritual needs that were the culprit and the Enemy used to try and destroy our family through adultery (mine, not Beto’s). God took me out of the dirty, nasty mud of my own self-pain, pulling both me and Roberto from the mire of desperation into hope renewed by God’s Words of love, a love which is “not self seeking and keeps no records of wrong doing.” This is God’s love exemplified.

 

[Hidden In Him]

There is so much to be said about love, but Godly love is the best kind of love for a couple. Julia and I (Roberto) in our own words—

Wonderful thread.

I have found that true godly love exceeds that which the world knows much about. It doesn't operate as much on possessiveness (though there can be an incredibly deep attachment), yet it ends up being a closer love; a love that can withstand any test the enemy sends against it. And it's an important thing, because the more important our lives become in the spiritual war and proclaiming the name of Christ Jesus, the more the enemy will target us and our loved ones, and exploit any weakness there might be in our relationships. I have a friend who moves in deliverance, and she has mentioned this to me. If you come against more powerful spirits, you will need to be on guard against things you might not have seen coming. She was operating with one pastor for a time but he was not ready. He eventually fell into sin with a woman in his church and it ended up destroying his ministry.

Does this mean we avoid the battle we are all called to face? God forbid. It is the very thing He is calling us to, for as the apostle Peter said in one place, we should not think it strange when fiery trials beset us. We are up against greater obstacles as servants of the True and Living God, and can potentially face both greater temptations and greater hardships. But it becomes a supernatural battle, where the love of the Lord Jesus Christ Himself fills our hearts to understand what our loved ones have gone through; what they were facing, and that the right thing to do is forgive. And all things work together for good, because He refines us into stronger, more powerful people with stronger bonds and stronger relationships, because we learn to be evermore understanding; evermore kind, loving and filled with the Spirit of God, even as evil spirits fill the hearts of those who face far less yet never gave themselves to God to do His refining work.

Blessings in Christ to both of you, and we may have to feature this thread in the future. There need to be more examples of what overcoming, godly love is all about. As Christians, we end up having what people in the world really want because we give ourselves to the One who can make it happen.

 

[Juliarod]

n the spiritual war and proclaiming the name of Christ Jesus, the more the enemy will target us and our loved ones, and exploit any weakness there might be in our relationships

This is so true. This is how the enemy chose to slip into me and Roberto's marriage. But he didn't win. God won!

 

[Hidden In Him]

This is so true. This is how the enemy chose to slip into me and Roberto's marriage. But he didn't win. God won!

Praise the Lord!

There are stories I could tell of to what lengths the enemy will go to break couples up. He seeks to divide and conquer, and one of his biggest ways is by exacerbating mistrust between two people. Once he gets them listening to their fears, he simply starts speaking thoughts into their minds that feed their worries and jealousies instead of them loving one another and realizing it was all a lie. He's devious. But those who listen to the voice of the Lord and trust in their partner end up reaping the rewards of it. They find out that believing in love wasn't a mistake, but the best move they ever made : )

 

[Juliarod]

Praise the Lord!

There are stories I could tell of to what lengths the enemy will go to break couples up. He seeks to divide and conquer, and one of his biggest ways is by exacerbating mistrust between two people. Once he gets them listening to their fears, he simply starts speaking thoughts into their minds that feed their worries and jealousies instead of them loving one another and realizing it was all a lie. He's devious. But those who listen to the voice of the Lord and trust in their partner end up reaping the rewards of it. They find out that believing in love wasn't a mistake, but the best move they ever made : )

Well said. For me the enemy lied and told me my husband would not understand me, really understand me if I shared the deepest parts of my soul and the deepest needs I feeling. That was all a lie and we paid a heavy price because of it, but now the enemy is exposed. I am free in honesty, hope, and trust thanks to the healing power of Jesus Christ.

 

[Hidden In Him]

Well said. For me the enemy lied and told me my husband would not understand me, really understand me if I shared the deepest parts of my soul and the deepest needs I feeling. That was all a lie and we paid a heavy price because of it, but now the enemy is exposed. I am free in honesty, hope, and trust thanks to the healing power of Jesus Christ.

I have found there is also a type of suffering that comes with becoming completely vulnerable to being hurt; a type of dying to the self. If it gets serous enough, every fiber of your being is screaming, "I don't want this!! I don't want to be hurt anymore!!" But if you are willing to trust Him, you go through a kind Gesthemene experience, where it's as if you are sorrowful unto death. But He sees you and where you are when no one else does, or at least not completely; all the hurts, all the pains, all the sad memories and the fears of it happening again. And you find out He was with you when it's over, because you come through on the other side victorious, having been faithful to trust God when it felt like your heart was breaking apart.

It's an amazing thing really, but I think it takes Him tearing us down before He can rebuild us again, and He teaches us trust in HIM most of all. If we cannot trust Him, we will never get to where He ultimately wants us to be, and walk in true love for both God and man.

 

[Juliarod]

I think it takes Him tearing us down before He can rebuild us again

Truth. I had to be stripped bare before I could be clothed in righteousness. This is our life cycle. This is our redemption story. I think we each have one but each journey is unique of course. Thank you for your wisdom brother and by the way, the gladiator profile foto is exceptional!

 

[Hidden In Him]

Truth. I had to be stripped bare before I could be clothed in righteousness. This is our life cycle. This is our redemption story. I think we each have one but each journey is unique of course. Thank you for your wisdom brother and by the way, the gladiator profile foto is exceptional!

Thank you. They have a new Gladiator 2 movie out and I heard the visuals are stunning again. But the first one is still my favorite movie, and it's because the character development was so good. My aunt and uncle said they went to see the new one but it just wasn't the same. Leading character was kinda lackluster.

The world needs more hero figures, IMO, even if their only mythological ones, LoL

 

[Juliarod]

Thank you. They have a new Gladiator 2 movie out and I heard the visuals are stunning again. But the first one is still my favorite movie, and it's because the character development was so good. My aunt and uncle said they went to see the new one but it just wasn't the same. Leading character was kinda lackluster.

The world needs more hero figures, IMO, even if their only mythological ones, LoL

I haven't seen the new one either. I like the idea of warrior men of God who are not afraid to use their swords and protect the weak and innocent. Men using their swords properly is a metaphor for so much in Scripture but also for life. I love those scenes best from movie one :D

 

[Hidden In Him]

I haven't seen the new one either. I like the idea of warrior men of God who are not afraid to use their swords and protect the weak and innocent. I love those scenes best from movie one :D

Very much enjoying you and Roberto posting on our forum. I'm praying my wife can do so as well.

Also praying we get more godly couples here who like sharing about their experiences. We have Focus on the Family post their threads, but it's not quite the same. When people share their personal lives you feel it more, and it feels more real. Our lives are supposed to be a testimony to the world, and I like your husband's theme for this thread. He designed marriage as the primary means of two people expressing complete love and devotion for one another, and it was not by accident. He shows us all the same love as the Bridegroom of His bride the church, and it feels like there is still SO much the church is missing when it comes to true love; whether it be passionate, romantic, amorous, affectionate, compassionate, even platonic love yet bound by deep bonds of loyalty and friendship. I teach a lot on the spiritual gifts, but the greatest focus needs to be on the fruit of the Spirit. If we don't manifest and experience that, the rest is worthless.

 

[Juliarod]

Very much enjoying you and Roberto posting on our forum. I'm praying my wife can do so as well.

Also praying we get more godly couples here who like sharing about their experiences. We have Focus on the Family post their threads, but it's not quite the same. When people share their personal lives you feel it more, and it feels more real. Our lives are supposed to be a testimony to the world, and I like your husband's theme for this thread. He designed marriage as the primary means of two people expressing complete love and devotion for one another, and it was not by accident. He shows us all the same love as the Bridegroom of His bride the church, and it feels like there is still SO much the church is missing when it comes to true love; whether it be passionate, romantic, amorous, affectionate, compassionate, even platonic love yet bound by deep bonds of loyalty and friendship. I teach a lot on the spiritual gifts, but the greatest focus needs to be on the fruit of the Spirit. If we don't manifest and experience that, the rest is worthless.

I appreciate that, gracias. People forget the fruit of the Spirit of genleness and kindness I think most. These are the high hanging fruit maybe because they require more of us to surrender to.

 

[Hidden In Him]

I appreciate that, gracias. People forget the fruit of the Spirit of genleness and kindness I think most. These are the high hanging fruit maybe because they require more of us to surrender to.

Absolutely the truth. I think it's maybe because the cruelty in the world causes us to toughen up, and become more aggressive, and as a result less sensitive to others and less willing to show weakness or appear (or actually be) "soft." But then you find out that being gentle and kind makes you feel wonderful, and then you begin to think, "Who cares about being 'tough.' I rather be godly." It just feels better being a kind person. You like yourself, and the person God is creating you to be, not the cruel one the enemy was trying to turn you into : )

 

[Juliarod]

I have been studying more and more in English about how to be a better wife for my husband and love Roberto.
Being a godly wife or the right kind wife involves accepting the qualities and responsibilities we usually see in Scripture. One of the key aspects is loving and respecting your husband, right? Ephesians 5:22-24 instructs wives to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord, while Ephesians 5:33 emphasizes the importance of respect in marriage. This respect is not about blind obedience but about honoring, supporting, and partnering with your husband in a way that reflects Christ’s love. First Peter 3:1-2 further encourages wives to lead by example, influencing their husbands through their actions rather than just words. Another important role of a godly wife is being a "helpmeet" (I really like this English word, because you never hear it except when reading about it in this context usually) and partner. In Genesis 2:18, God declares that it is not good for man to be alone and creates a helper suitable for him. You are what he needs, ladies!! Proverbs 31:10-12 describes the virtuous wife as one who brings her husband good, not harm, all the days of her life. This means being a source of encouragement, wisdom, and stability, working alongside him to build a strong and godly household. A godly wife also cultivates a gentle and quiet spirit. First Peter 3:3-4 teaches that true beauty comes not from outward adornment but from the inner self, characterized by a gentle and quiet spirit that is precious in God’s sight. This doesn’t mean a wife should be silent but rather that she should possess a heart of peace, trust, and contentment rather than being easily angered or anxious. It also doesn't mean she should let herself not be pretty for him (are you kidding? We should go the extra miles to make him look at us LOL). Also, managing the home with wisdom is another key attribute. Proverbs 14:1 states that a wise woman builds her house, while Titus 2:4-5 encourages wives to be self-controlled, pure, and diligent in their home responsibilities. A godly wife ensures that her home is a place of peace, love, and hospitality, nurturing both her family and those around her. Speaking with kindness and wisdom is equally important. Proverbs 31:26 describes a virtuous wife as someone who speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction. Colossians 4:6 encourages believers to have conversations that are full of grace and seasoned with salt. The words a wife speaks can build up or tear down her marriage, so she should be intentional about using her speech to uplift and encourage, even in the bedroom!!! Above all, a godly wife prioritizes her relationship with God. Matthew 6:33 instructs believers to seek first the kingdom of God, and Psalm 119:105 reminds us that God’s word is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path. When a wife nurtures her spiritual life through prayer, Bible study, and faith, she strengthens her marriage and home. Marriage also requires patience and forgiveness. Colossians 3:13 urges believers to bear with one another and forgive as the Lord forgave them. First Corinthians 13:4-7 provides a beautiful description of love, emphasizing patience, kindness, and humility. A godly wife chooses to extend grace over resentment, love over bitterness, and understanding over anger. Ultimately, being a godly wife is a lifelong journey of faith and love. It means reflecting Christ in marriage, supporting your husband with wisdom and grace, and seeking God in all things. A heartfelt prayer for wives could be: "Lord, help me to be a godly wife (for Roberto) who honors You in my marriage. Give me wisdom, patience, and a heart full of love and grace. Help me to be presentable for him every day. May my actions, words, and spirit reflect Your goodness. Amen."