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Credit Checks on your Girl/Boyfriend

civilwarbuff said:
Has anyone here asked or been asked to sign a pre-nuptial agreement?
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I've been with my first and only husband for years. That wouldn't be the case had he done so because that question presumes the relationship won't work out. Which means the one asking foresees securing their finances rather than prioritizing working on the marriage if things go wonky for a time.
 
:hysterical:hysterical
Edward said:
Oh, I did. She maxed out the cards before she left and left me 8 grand of debt. I paid it off pretty quickly. That's sorta...what girls do. A man's gotta make enough money to keep up with them, lol.
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Ha! And your still smiling! Must be that fresh Colorado air Lol!
 
banded butterfly said:
I've been with my first and only husband for years. That wouldn't be the case had he done so because that question presumes the relationship won't work out. Which means the one asking foresees securing their finances rather than prioritizing working on the marriage if things go wonky for a time.
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I kinda see pre-nups in a 2nd marriage.....preserving an inheritance for kids/grandkids for example.....in a 1st marriage I see most people entering on a fairly level field (barring inherited wealth or the like).
 
civilwarbuff said:
I kinda see pre-nups in a 2nd marriage.....preserving an inheritance for kids/grandkids for example.....in a 1st marriage I see most people entering on a fairly level field (barring inherited wealth or the like).
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Those futures, for grandchildren, etc... can be secured with a revocable trust.
 
Edward said:
I think it would be a bad idea and really has very little if nothing to do with the relationship. It's only money. So...what? If she has bad credit then suddenly you don't love her or want to marry her? That's...kinda weird.

Don't sweat the small stuff.
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I know this would not happen in the USA but in Australia, there are millions of dollars a year going to scammers, many of them overseas. And how do they do the scams? Many are Internet dating sites. Lonely single Australians (men and women) are falling in love with people over the internet and being seriously in love, start sending their money to their partner-to-be. Only to find, eventually, that person is actually an illusion made up by a scammer. Not long back one lady went overseas to meet her loved one only to end up killed. She had taken a heap of money with her if I recall right. She was in love and would not heed the warnings of friends.

Over the internet or face-to-face, in worse case scenarios it is easy for somebody to use deception through 'love is blind' to defraud somebody else. With some of the people being defrauded, they had family who found out and tried to tell them they were being robbed but were not listened to. Very distressing to think the person you have fallen in love with is a con artist.

I am not saying every prospective partner is a scammer. Just like every $50 note you hold is not counterfeit, if you do get one you suspect may be a fake, best to check.

Marriage is way more than feelings of love. As Scripture says, 'how can two walk together unless they are in agreement' Amos 3:3. If there is no basic agreement on handling money then there are problems waiting to erupt. And, in my opinion, discussions about attitudes to money should be only one of many aspects of life that potential couples talk about.

Watching Thomas
 
First of all, see post 12. This question was inspired by a line on "The Big Bang Theory".

Second, most respondents tend to not like the whole idea. In my case, I took so long getting to know the ladies I dated, that I knew there finances pretty well after six months anyway.
 
Pizza said:
First of all, see post 12. This question was inspired by a line on "The Big Bang Theory".

Second, most respondents tend to not like the whole idea. In my case, I took so long getting to know the ladies I dated, that I knew there finances pretty well after six months anyway.
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Okay, that is interesting, especially about most not liking the idea. And with 'taking so long getting to know the ladies . . ." I thought that was the way it was supposed to happen. Long enough that you go to really know them and them you. Back in my day that was what dating was about but maybe different now.

Watching Thomas
 
Watching Thomas said:
Okay, that is interesting, especially about most not liking the idea. And with 'taking so long getting to know the ladies . . ." I thought that was the way it was supposed to happen. Long enough that you go to really know them and them you. Back in my day that was what dating was about but maybe different now.

Watching Thomas
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Maybe there is an advantage to arranged marriages after all.....
 
Pretty earl
Pizza said:
So, how far into a relationship is it appropriate to check the person's credit? (Asking for a friend, don't freak out.)
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Pretty early on.
Actually, you can do a background check that will include credit and arrest record.
It might be good for a girl to know that three previous women and two previous wives had restraining orders on that charmer.
 
Jim Parker said:
Pretty earl

Pretty early on.
Actually, you can do a background check that will include credit and arrest record.
It might be good for a girl to know that three previous women and two previous wives had restraining orders on that charmer.
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Just shows how far mankind is fallen when they need to do credit and police checks before they establish there new conveinent relationship.
 
civilwarbuff said:
Maybe there is an advantage to arranged marriages after all.....
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Actually, for some cultures, there are big advantages. With the work my wife and I have done overseas, we were talking to a young unmarried guy and he was asking about Western marriage. He was horrified about people his age selecting their life partners themselves. He said how can they do that? He said his uncles and aunts were looking for a wife for him and doing some negotiation. He said since he was young and never married, he did not have the experience to pick a partner. He said his extended family who all knew him as well or better than his mother and father wanted the best for him so were working hard on selecting a suitable wife. And, since the new wife would join their community not just her new husband, it was better for the community to be involved in the choice.

After listening to him, I understood better about this sort of arranged marriage. Also it gave me more insight into the Bible and marriage customs. However, if I think of what sort of person my parents and uncles and aunts might have picked for me to marry if that was my culture, I just shake my head and laugh.

Watching Thomas
 
Jim Parker said:
Right!
Particularly when the lady met the dude at their church's singles ministry Bible study.
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Perhaps wise not to trust all those you meet at church?

Recently in Australia, probably would have been better for some church goers to get a credit check on the associate pastor. With his gift for talking and wealthy lifestyle, people thought it was obvious he was blessed of God and so they were grateful for his help with investing their money with him. In the end, he was jailed for stealing $3 million. Just because somebody is in a church or even has a position in a church is no reason to turn off our God-given spiritual discernment. But many Christians seem to operate with discernment turned off. And encouraged to do so by some ministers who prefer obedience from the flock and no difficult questions especially if about people in positions in the church.

Watching Thomas
 
Watching Thomas said:
Perhaps wise not to trust all those you meet at church?

Recently in Australia, probably would have been better for some church goers to get a credit check on the associate pastor. With his gift for talking and wealthy lifestyle, people thought it was obvious he was blessed of God and so they were grateful for his help with investing their money with him. In the end, he was jailed for stealing $3 million. Just because somebody is in a church or even has a position in a church is no reason to turn off our God-given spiritual discernment. But many Christians seem to operate with discernment turned off. And encouraged to do so by some ministers who prefer obedience from the flock and no difficult questions especially if about people in positions in the church.

Watching Thomas
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I was alluding to the practice of attending "singles ministry" meetings because it's a great place to hook up with a partner for the night. (Much to the dismay of the associate pastor who has been assigned the task of making disciples out of randy young men and women.)
 
Jim Parker said:
I was alluding to the practice of attending "singles ministry" meetings because it's a great place to hook up with a partner for the night. (Much to the dismay of the associate pastor who has been assigned the task of making disciples out of randy young men and women.)
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Oh, okay. The things people in church get up to . . . .

Watching Thomas
 
Oh yeah,. Pretty early on when starting to date exclusively.

Do a whole background check. Especially if you don't know anything about the other person's life other than what they said.

I personally met Everyone from my wife's hometown in 20 minutes. (Small towns are easy)
And all of her relatives...(extra 20 minutes)...and they all behaved just like I expected family to behave... complete with sibling rivalry, and cousin snobbery.
So there wasn't any need.

But yeah...kinda have to these days because it's too easy to lie and expect to get away with it for those with skeletons in their closets.
 
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