Cursing

citrus · Jun 21, 2023

Lately I have been cursing in my head. Fir example with my parents. I know I am supposed to honor them. I am very hurt with how I am treated. Instead of speaking life in my heart. I pray for them constantly. Cursing has become more prominent. Now a days children curse and their parents think it is funny and cute. I now call it cursing instead of cussing because that is what it is. It's always on tv God D***it. So much. Our culture now a days curse so much. It is every where. Even so called Christians think it is okay. Instead of d,-ing every thing we are supposed to be blessing it. I haven't said them out loud, but in my self talk that is what I have been doing. Power of life and death are in the tongue. Our culture has it all wrong. I bought my mom a coffee mug thst says, best mother ever." I want her to think that because I love her, but she isn't the best mom ever she is always emotionally attacking me. It just hurts so bad so I have cursed at God and my parents in my heart. I excuse it. I have become a hypocrite and a monster with the words I have thought on my head. They say boil hot water in a pot and when it boils see what comes out of it. Out of the mouth the heart speaks. I never want to say something I will regret for hurting someone. Even ruining my reputation or others reputation. You can't put the tooth paste back into the tube once it is out. Tv doesn't help either and I have been trying to be choosy especially when watching reeks because on most reels they curse. Dropping the F bomb around or mother F. They have no shame. I really don't want to be like them. It just hurts so bad. Everytime I trust it comes back to hurt me. I am really trying. Our society stinks. I know I can't blame it only on them it is an attitude problem i have to correct. It is bad it comes so easily to me I know God is not my slave I non chalantly think in my God forgive me. Just forgive me God! I'm trying to feel my head with good things, but it is hard. I an always asking God to make me strong. Anyone else struggling. I never want to say them. I know it is important to speak life and honor my parents. I honor them outlook. I want to lift them up and bless it instead of thing things like G d***m. I'm just messing my life up. Please pray with me. It isn't for the Christian mind no matter what people think or say. It is wrong. I always tell my parents I love them because what if that was the last time I saw them or something bad happened. I want them to know I love them. In my heart I do, but their is a hurt spot in me that just wants to be angry and I struggle because it is always these emotional attacks. My dad sometimes to. It is hard. I have cursed at God before. I am no job.

I do pray about it.

citrus · Jun 21, 2023

No matter what anyone says here I know it is wrong. Go ahead and laugh, but it is serious.

Padre Pio · Jun 21, 2023

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling.

I think you are a nice person and you know the problem and it is the first step in solving it.

Nobody is perfect, including us and our parents... They may be bad to you sometimes and then you cuss at them in your mind but deep down you know that it is not good and you feel guilty for it, which matters a lot because God doesn't only hear our thoughts but he knows everything that goes in our minds and a loving God would definitely forgive you for that.

Being a Christian is not about being perfect, it is about walking with God and trying to be the best you can be in every situation.

Hopeful 2 · Jun 21, 2023

After I first converted to Christianity I had the "cussing" habit.
After much prayer, I decided to copy down every reference in the bible about foul language and cursing and self control of the mouth.
I used a Strong's Concordance to find the words I needed to study and copied them in a three ring binder.
After many years, it has morphed into my "Book of Topics".
I now have about fifty topics that I can look at and get a block of teachings on a given topic.
Just putting the effort into something good helps diminish the old habits.
You may be able to find a Concordance at a library, or for sale on line.
If you buy one, get the 2001 edition, as it is much more in depth on word definitions.

Maybe some other reader knows if the Strong's Concordance can be accessed on line ???
Good study thwarts bad behavior.

citrus · Jun 21, 2023

Thanks

Hidden In Him · Jun 21, 2023

It can wax and wane depending on how your life is going, Citrus. If your life is Hell it can be increasingly difficult to keep the tongue under control. I once had a co-worker tell me he had never heard me use a single curse word ever. Well, he didn't stick around long enough, because within a year or so after that, I might have peeled the paint of a wall, LoL.

But you just seek to do the best you can for the Lord, and ask forgiveness for when you fail. I wish I could tell you there is a sure fire solution, but there is not. The best thing you can do is simply spend more time with the Lord and in the joy of the Spirit. The happier you are, the less you will speak out of anger and frustration.
- H

journeymanisnothing · Jun 21, 2023

Keep walking with our Lord and you'll grow out of it.

Riven · Jun 21, 2023

Life is hard. Don't beat yourself up.

Dorothy Mae · Jun 22, 2023

You need to forgive your parents and continue to do so until the resentment is gone. It’s probably a journey. Ask God for help.

I agree with you that the American culture has become quite evil. .Atheism has had its work in the culture each generation. “Without God everything is permissible.”

gordon777 · Jun 22, 2023

If you want to do better in life, why do you think sharing with others and asking advice, is going to make the evil worlds situation, and our own life in it, any better ?

Jesus told us to not love mother or father more than Him, so how is everything going to be well, instead of being trouble ?

We honour our parents as far as I know, by honouring God, God decides what is right for everybody, how do you think the people sat on these forums are going to help, they only could if they were the ones deciding anything, and they are deciding nothing.

Highway54 · Jun 22, 2023

Using foul language is difficult to control to say the least sir. It is commonplace on tv, and society. Since I have gotten old, I find myself using it more, against my wishes, but pain tends to bring it on quickly. Each of us has our own problems, and we simply try to do the best we can. You are doing the right thing, praying for strength to overcome it. Associations go a long way as well, walk with wise ones.

jeremiah1five · Jun 22, 2023

Now that you're done praying it's time to speak to them about how they treat you.
Give them opportunity to give an answer.

for_his_glory · Jun 22, 2023

We all have our limits when our buttons are pushed and causes our emotions to take over that of the flesh speaking words we would normally never use. It happens to most of us so don't beat yourself up over it, but give it to the Lord and mediate on His mercy and grace when you get upset. Parents can be cruel and hurtful as I well know as my dad was before he died and I wish that I could have forgiven him when he was alive and told him so. It took me many years even after he was gone that I finally found it in my heart of hearts to forgive and love him. Please do not let this happen to you. If we would only think before we speak then our words would be that of love and not cursing others. Let the Spirit of joy fill your heart everyday when you wake up and carry that joy with you throughout the day. I know it's not easy to do, but try your best. God knows your heart.

Tenchi · Jun 22, 2023

This is the story, basically, of anyone who is not under the constant control of the Holy Spirit. Others who are out from under his control may not struggle with cursing, necessarily, but they will have the same double-mindedness, the same contradictory inner-state you've described - just like Paul did in Romans 7:14-25. The answer to this condition Paul explained in Romans 8:1-14 (and Romans 6 and Galatians 5:16, 25, as well).

gordon777 · Jun 24, 2023

Lots of false signs and wonders, and lots of false prophets/teachers to DECEIVE MANY, ( Matthew 24:11. 24:24. 2 Thessalonians 2:9. 2 Peter 2:1-2.) that is the only consideration anyone can have.

Does advice from those same people in wait to deceive, help us grow into Christ in all things ?

No, we are shown the more excellent way, go and see the thread of testing if we are in the faith in the theology forum, how we must stop seeing darkly/as children, and become men to understand Christ.

1 Corinthians 12:29 Are all apostles? are all prophets? are all teachers? are all workers of miracles?
30 Have all the gifts of healing? do all speak with tongues? do all interpret?
31 But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet shew I unto you a more excellent way.

1 Corinthians 13:8 Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
9 For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
10 But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
11 When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
12 For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
13 And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

Ephesians 4:11 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers;
12 For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:
13 Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ:
14 That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;
15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.

grace2 · Jun 24, 2023

It seems it is the Western culture to curse, especially for males.

And they usually curse when they are angry.

So I don't understand why they have to curse when they are angry since they know it is a no-no in Christian society.

I am an Asian and I dont get so angry that I have the need to curse.

It is so strange to me that the West is influenced by Jesus' teachings and Asians are not.

Just my two cents.

gordon777 · Jun 25, 2023

I think if people were unhappy with society, they would pray, ask questions to God, ( from His Word) to open up understanding, how God feels about the same world.

God is angry with the world so much it takes long suffering for Him to have not destroyed it fully, back at the time of Noah and the flood of the old world condemned.

The world of course is not a nicer better more holy place than the old world that was destroyed, ( but grew again.) it is far more wicked, and if we do not do as required, we go away with it for ever this time

1 Peter 1:15 But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation;

2 Peter 3:11 Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness,
12 Looking for and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat?
13 Nevertheless we, according to his promise, look for new heavens and a new earth, wherein dwelleth righteousness.
14 Wherefore, beloved, seeing that ye look for such things, be diligent that ye may be found of him in peace, without spot, and blameless.
15 And account that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation; even as our beloved brother Paul also according to the wisdom given unto him hath written unto you;
16 As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.
17 Ye therefore, beloved, seeing ye know these things before, beware lest ye also, being led away with the error of the wicked, fall from your own stedfastness.
18 But grow in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. To him be glory both now and for ever. Amen.

D-D-W · Jul 6, 2023

First off Citrus, welcome to the forums. I see you have been here about 4 months.

Second, what the bible calls cursing and what we call cursing are 2 different things. In the bible cursing is what our Lord did to a fig tree:

Matthew 21:19
Seeing a lone fig tree by the road, He came to it and found nothing on it except leaves only; and He *said to it, “No longer shall there ever be any fruit from you.” And at once the fig tree withered.

That is a curse - when you speak a bad thing to happen.
Saying "G*d d**m" is not good, but is not really pronouncing a curse. I would call that swearing. It comes close to using God's name in vain.

As to your parents, I am sorry you have been hurt so bad. But you need to be praying that you find strength and grace to forgive their shortcomings. And remember, they have been hurt very badly also. (haven't we all?)

What we do not understand (have not been taught in church) was that Paul using "honor your father and mother" to include "obey your parents" was an extension of the understanding of that command in his day. In that day (and even in orthodox Judaism today) it means to provide for your parents in their retirement years. Our Lord spoke to that:

Mark 7:10-13
For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother, is to be put to death’; 11 but you say, ‘If a man says to his father or his mother, whatever I have that would help you is Corban (that is to say, given to God),’ 12 you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or his mother; 13 thus invalidating the word of God by your tradition which you have handed down; and you do many things such as that.”

So Our Lord upheld the popular understanding of that command. But you have been on the 2nd part of that - the speaking evil of your parents. That is a sin you should repent from and endeavor to not repeat.

I spent many summers as a young kid on my granddad's farm, and he swore like no one else I have ever heard. I never picked up that habit even though I heard it constantly every day. It becomes a habit as your brain is trained to use those words. But you can un-train it as well. Stop yourself and find something else to say and substitute it every time you think of saying the bad stuff.

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Cursing

citrus

citrus

Padre Pio

Hopeful 2

Christian

citrus

Hidden In Him

Youth Renewed

journeymanisnothing

Riven

Dorothy Mae

gordon777

Highway54

jeremiah1five

for_his_glory

Fight the good fight of faith

Tenchi

gordon777

grace2

gordon777

D-D-W