Tofu
Member
A question for fellow Christians out there, I'm curious what other peoples guidelines are for dating and if anyone has scripture to back up their point of view. I'm interested in hearing what you view the purpose of dating is, why you would consider dating someone / what you are looking for in someone you want to date, your guidelines for the relationship once its started, etc.
By the way I'm 23 and never had a relationship.. so you know my experience
My guidelines are I want to have a good brother - sister in Christ relationship (Best kind of friendship possible imho) with someone before I date them, I don't want to try to establish a friendship with someone in order that I might date them because then I consider that friendship built on false premises / intentions.
I don't want to start dating someone by an act of my own will, as if I were saying "Well she seems like a nice person, a strong follower of Christ and has a good relationship with God, good criteria lets date her!" but rather I would wait upon God's leading and him directing me if I should take a relationship further. Which logically follows that I believe in there is a specific person out there for me lol, and I am waiting for God to show me that match. The only real Biblical examples I can think of in this regard is in the Old Testament when Abraham sent out his servant to find a wife for Isaac and the servant sought God's guidance, set out some signs he was looking for to know it was the one and saw it come to pass. I haven't really come across much scripture in reference to finding your spouse / dating.
and then guidelines for the relationship, I suppose these are more personal and relative, such as my guideline would my mouth will never touch a part of her body before we are married (kissing, etc) for it would invite and create far too great of a temptation for me. I'm pretty much limiting my physical intimacy to holding hands and hugs knowing my struggle with lust and how serious it is to even risk you being the cause of someone else to stumble in sin (in this instance, lust) by your actions choosing to go to a certain point that creates that tension / temptation in their heart. Jesus refers to it would be better for someone to have a millstone hung around their necks and for them to drown than to cause another to sin. (Luke 17:1-4)
Those are pretty much my thoughts, I'd love to hear from others.
By the way I'm 23 and never had a relationship.. so you know my experience
My guidelines are I want to have a good brother - sister in Christ relationship (Best kind of friendship possible imho) with someone before I date them, I don't want to try to establish a friendship with someone in order that I might date them because then I consider that friendship built on false premises / intentions.
I don't want to start dating someone by an act of my own will, as if I were saying "Well she seems like a nice person, a strong follower of Christ and has a good relationship with God, good criteria lets date her!" but rather I would wait upon God's leading and him directing me if I should take a relationship further. Which logically follows that I believe in there is a specific person out there for me lol, and I am waiting for God to show me that match. The only real Biblical examples I can think of in this regard is in the Old Testament when Abraham sent out his servant to find a wife for Isaac and the servant sought God's guidance, set out some signs he was looking for to know it was the one and saw it come to pass. I haven't really come across much scripture in reference to finding your spouse / dating.
and then guidelines for the relationship, I suppose these are more personal and relative, such as my guideline would my mouth will never touch a part of her body before we are married (kissing, etc) for it would invite and create far too great of a temptation for me. I'm pretty much limiting my physical intimacy to holding hands and hugs knowing my struggle with lust and how serious it is to even risk you being the cause of someone else to stumble in sin (in this instance, lust) by your actions choosing to go to a certain point that creates that tension / temptation in their heart. Jesus refers to it would be better for someone to have a millstone hung around their necks and for them to drown than to cause another to sin. (Luke 17:1-4)
Those are pretty much my thoughts, I'd love to hear from others.