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Dating

T

tmanasome

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Ok ,i got a problem. Should a pentecostal man date a catholic girl? Is it wrong?
 
I would say it depends on their personalities. How deep are they in their religion? Do they think it will be a wedge issue?

Of cource, dating is all about finding some of these questions out through experience. :)
 
tmanasome said:
Ok ,i got a problem. Should a pentecostal man date a catholic girl? Is it wrong?

Yes, it's wrong. It will be a major point of conflict in a marriage if you two have different religions. If you know of someone who is "happily married" but of different religions, you're wrong. Either they're not happy or they are only nominally of different religions, but are practically of the same religion.

For the best chance at a happy marriage, you should find someone very much like yourself.
 
2 cor 6:11-15
11 O Corinthians! We have spoken openly to you, our heart is wide open. 12 You are not restricted by us, but you are restricted by your own affections. 13 Now in return for the same (I speak as to children), you also be open.
14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?


The connection between ver ses 13 and 14 is this: Paul has told the saints to be open in their affections toward him. Now he explains that one way to do this is to separate from all forms of sin and unrighteousness.
Mention of the unequal yoke suggests Deuteronomy 22:10: “You shall not plow with an ox and a donkey together.†The ox was a clean animal and the donkey unclean, and their step and pull are unequal. By way of contrast, when believers are yoked with the Lord Jesus, they find that His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matt. 11:29, 30).

This section of 2 Corinthians is one of the key passages in all the word of God on the subject of separation. It is clear instruction that the believer should separate himself from unbelievers, in iquity, darkness, Belial, idols.
It certainly refers to the marriage relationship. A Christian should not marry an unsaved person. However, in cases where a believer is already married to an unbeliever, this passage does not justify separation or divorce. God’s will in such a case is that the marriage relationship should be maintained with a view to the eventual salvation of the unsaved member (1 Cor. 7:12–16).
In addition to this, it refers to business. A Christian should not go into partnership with one who does not know the Lord. I did this once and it cost me over $300,000.00. I knew better but fell into the devils trap. Temptation will always come in sugared form. It applies clearly to secret orders or fraternities: How could one who is faithful to Christ consistently go on in an association where the name of the Lord Jesus is unwelcome? Its application to social life would be as follows: A Christian should maintain contact with the unsaved in an effort to win them to Christ, but he should never engage in their sinful pleasures or in any of their activities in such a way as to lead them to think he is no different than they. Then this section would also apply to religious matters: A faithful follower of Christ would not want to hold membership in a church where unbelievers were knowingly admitted as members.
Verses 14 through 16 cover all the important relationships of life:
Righteousness and lawlessness describe the whole sphere of moral behavior. Light and darkness have to do with intelligence as to the things of God. Christ and Belial have to do with the realm of authority, in other words, the person or thing whom one acknowledges as master in his life. Believer and unbeliever have to do with the realm of faith. The temple of God and idols take in the whole subject of a person’s worship. Righteousness and lawlessness can have no fellowship together: they are moral opposites. Neither can light have communion with darkness. When light enters a room, the darkness is dispelled. Both cannot exist together at the same time.
I should point out that the name Belial means “worthlessness†or “wickedness.†Here it is a name for the evil one. Can there ever be peace between Christ and Satan? Obviously not! Neither can there be fellowship between a believer and an unbeliever. To attempt it is treason against the Lord. Sorry for the log commentary on this. Once I get going its hard to stop. I could have kept going. Like I said, I made this mistake in buisness once and thank God I did not make this mistake in marrige.
Blessings,
JG
 
For starters, my children will not date! Period. I have had many returning memories i could have done without in my marraige. So for the sake of regrets, memories, fornication, evil communications etc...We wont be allowing oour children to find a wife like testing driving cars.

For someone who is older and does date there should definately be strict guidelines to keep you both from disobeying God's Word, no matter how simple or small something may be to you, God said a number of things not only shouldt happen, but dont even make provisons for them to be able to happen.

As for mixing religions we are praying that our children will surrneder theirs live wholly to the Lord, first in salvation and then in service. Also we are praying for them to find God's mate and not heir own. my teacher in college said that "God never makes a pot so crooked that he doesnt make a lid to fit it."

So anyone but a person saved by the grace of God through faith in the Lord Jesus Christ isnt commpatable with our children. As far as anyonr goes, it is good as the bible says not to
"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"

I take that not only as the doctrine of salvation but also other doctrine as well.

I will also take another bold step, and is not for controversy, but I will push my children away from interracial marraige as well.

I am not racist, i am for not intermarrying. There isnt any clear bible teaching on it, but a principle is there many times with God's chosen people not to inter-marry.

Leviticus 21:14 "A widow, or a divorced woman, or profane, or an harlot, these shall he not take: but he shall take a virgin of his own people to wife."

Just my opions and facts gathered from the scripture and the Holy Ghost! ;-)
 
For starters, you both are Christians. (or at least you both should be... the Catholic Church professes faith in the Triune God and salvation through the sacrifice of Christ on the cross)

Personally, as a Catholic, I make it a point not to date Protestant guys. Why? Because all we do is quibble over doctrinal issues we disagree on (and especially pertaining to marriage... like no contraception usually gets a guy running pretty quick ;-) ). I want a relationship with someone who can help me grow in my relationship with Christ and His Church, someone who will truly be my "helpmate" in getting to Heaven, encouraging me on the path to Christ and sanctity. Quibbling about doctrinal issues does not make for a good dating relationship.

Thus, if you're going to go into that relationship seeking marriage, and wanting her to convert and leave the Church. It's probably best if you just stay friends with her and set your romantic sights on someone else.
 
Well... I suppose I'm gonna get my head whacked off for this one...

I don't see a problem with it tmanasome
.. But then, I call Catholics Brother and Sister in Christ too. The way I see it, is that we are all members in Christ's Church. Sure, we go to our own churches, but we belong to Christ's Church.

Do I agree with all the Catholic dogma? No. But I don't agree with much of the Baptist dogma either. I get so upset watching everyone drawing these lines in the sand and claiming, 'Your not my brother'... It is not our battle as the battle belongs to the Lord.

I didn't have a choice in the matter that I have a biological brother, why should it be any different with my brothers and sisters in Christ?

BTW, there is a couple at the church that I go to where the man is Catholic and his wife is a member at our church. Each sunday, they go to mass, then they come to where we congregate for bible study, then worship. Each week, he partakes in the Lords Supper with us, and he partakes of the divine liturgy in the RCC. We could all learn a bit from this couple.
 
StoveBolts said:
We could all learn a bit from this couple.

Like how to disobey the holy scriptures?

Like how to compromise?

Like how to blur the lines of doctrine?

If two differnet churches, doctrines, dogma (whatever the case may be) is opposite; then one is truth and one is error.

Can two walk together, except they be agreed? (Amos 3:3)
 
Preacher boy wrote:

Like how to disobey the holy scriptures?

So, you believe that if one is a member of the Catholic Church, they are not Christians? Hence, eternal torment in hell fire?
Maybe your not obeying scripture...


Like how to compromise?

You mean have fellowship with your brother or sister in Christ?

Like how to blur the lines of doctrine?

Sorry buddy, Doctrine doesn't save. It leads us to a better life with Christ, but Christ by grace saves, not doctrine.

If two differnet churches, doctrines, dogma (whatever the case may be) is opposite; then one is truth and one is error.

I believe the 'core' doctrines are the same, only the "giving glory to God' part differs.

Can two walk together, except they be agreed? (Amos 3:3)

In regard to two believers in Christ with a conflict..
Matthew 18:20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.
 
I also believe that there are catholics who are saved and love the Lord. I believe they wade through a lot of unnecessary religious debris to get to Him, but saved all the same.
I also believe that there are unsaved catholics as I believe there are unsaved people in every denomination professing to be saved.
I wouldn't paint every person with the same broad brush as to who's saved and who isn't based on denominations, that would be unwise.

I also know people who have correct doctrine, yet their error is in how they represent God.

A relationship between a catholic and a protestant could work so long as both parties are willing to lay aside 'religion' for a relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
 
the main concern seems to be that you may argue over doctrine or not be compatable due to these differences...so why not date? isn't dating meant to be to discover if you argue all the time, or get on, etc. So why is it not the same here? If you both live with Christ as your saviour then why not try dating and see how you get on. If you can't stand each others differences over doctrine, split up.
 
tmanasome,

First of all, I do not feel that dating is truly the best model either. There is no pattern for it at all in Scripture. I just wanted to put that forth.


The First point I would like to raise, is do you have your parent's permission to date her, and does he have the permission of her parents? If not, then your answer is no, you should absolutely not be dating.

Secondly, the Pentecostal, and the Catholic, are very far apart on the Religion spectrum. I do not agree that it would be against Scripture if you both are truly saved, and in this instance be careful no matter what religion someone professes, but I do think it would be difficult if marriage, and children, were on the horizon. AND, if you are dating, they SHOULD be!

I use to have neighbors that were Catholic, but the mother was never confirmed...though she still had an unwavering desire for her children to be brought up in that faith. The thing is, the Catholic church, while accepting their children in school, and church, did not recognize their marriage. So, if she, the girl you mentioned, married a Pentecostal man would she have to give up her faith, or you would need to convert, in order for her to be married in the eyes of her church? This seems like the most obvious dilemma, but then there is the choice of which faith the children would be brought up in.

The Pentecostals are also an interesting group, and I wonder if a devoted Catholic could feel comfortable in one of their churches with tongues, and a more "active" worship service? If you are a devoted Pentecostal, then I wonder how you would be able to reconcile her beliefs in a one flesh situation. I think that you would always have an internal struggle deep down, as would she, unless both of you are not very devoted to begin with. That brings me to my next point.

I think many people do not consider this at all, but what is the measure of desire in the one you are dating to be given over to God completely? Are you given over to His Truth in your life? Is He Captain of your life? If so, is she given over to His Truth as well? And if you disagree with the Catholic church...how can you justify that she is given over to Truth, when it looks nothing like the Truth you believe? And, I would put the same question to her? Could either of you agree to disagree on say the Pope, and His role in the church? On infant Baptism? On the Eucharist, and other such issues?

Then there is the aspect of ministry. If you are, or believe that you are, heading toward a ministry in your life (or that your life is your ministry), then your marriage would be so much more edifying if your wife is in line with this too. Think about it, if you feel you are called to a ministry for God as a missionary, or minister, could she support it as her ministry too in a situation where doctrine was so different? Or, if you feel like your family will simply be your ministry (and I believe it should be), and a light to the world, is she on board with that, and will doctrine affect how you both envision it? Will your children attend Catholic school? Or, would a protestant christian school be alright with her? Or, perhaps just a public education? Will the children be baptized, or confirmed? Or will she always be worried about their souls if they are not? Will she be a submissive wife in doctrinal concerns, and could she go against that which she holds as truth in her own heart? Can she consider you her head, and spiritual leader when you do not honor those things that she believes true? Will the parents be applying pressure, on both sides, due to religion causing strain in your marriage? There is a lot to consider, but mostly is the Holy Spirit leading in this?

Consider not dating at all, and being friends only. Seriously exercise in your heart protection for your sake, and hers. If you are dating, then be ready for the responsibility of marriage, actually be actively seeking marriage, and pray about the issues being raised here, and more, no matter who you are dating. I would also suggest speaking to your parents, or pastor, about this to see what other areas may be challenging. She should do the same. The two of you should really bring those who are in authority over you into this situation. Again, If you do not have your parent's permission to dater her, you shouldn't, and it is the same for her.

The Lord bless you.
 
I didn't realise dating was such a big thing or that people would be against it unless you knew you were considering marriage. How can you ever know a person and consider marriage without dating? Maybe depends on your definition of dating.
 
StoveBolts said:
BTW, there is a couple at the church that I go to where the man is Catholic and his wife is a member at our church. Each sunday, they go to mass, then they come to where we congregate for bible study, then worship. Each week, he partakes in the Lords Supper with us, and he partakes of the divine liturgy in the RCC. We could all learn a bit from this couple.

That's like if we said "Don't drink and drive." But, you tell a story of a man drinking a six pack of beer and then racing through town at 100mph. "We could all learn a bit from this guy." You're defending foolishness.

The couple attending both RCC and Baptist services won't last long. The one of the weaker faith will eventually cave and they'll stop following two faiths, assuming that they both don't give up on church or separate. If this doesn't happen, then they've just managed to overcome a great difficulties in their lives, certainly at the cost of stunting the growth of their faith. If they weren't foolish when they were young, they would have avoided this difficulty and the risks that go with it.

Do they have children, yet?

You should stick to your own denomination, or at least you own class (e.g. Catholic vs. liberal protestant vs. conservative protestant vs. charismatic). The same goes for socioeconomic level, race, etc.
 
Poke said:
That's like if we said "Don't drink and drive." But, you tell a story of a man drinking a six pack of beer and then racing through town at 100mph. "We could all learn a bit from this guy." You're defending foolishness.

The couple attending both RCC and Baptist services won't last long. The one of the weaker faith will eventually cave and they'll stop following two faiths, assuming that they both don't give up on church or separate. If this doesn't happen, then they've just managed to overcome a great difficulties in their lives, certainly at the cost of stunting the growth of their faith. If they weren't foolish when they were young, they would have avoided this difficulty and the risks that go with it.

Do they have children, yet?

You should stick to your own denomination, or at least you own class (e.g. Catholic vs. liberal protestant vs. conservative protestant vs. charismatic). The same goes for socioeconomic level, race, etc.

Poke
This is going to be a rare ocasion, but you actually make sense this time. :o
 
Poke,
Actually, they are an older couple and both have grown children. I'm not sure about him, but she was a widow. BTW, were not Baptist.

Both of them are very knowledgable in scripture and it is my belief that they complement each other very well. I especially enjoy bible study with him as he's always got a good perspective on whatever topic were discussing and he's just pleasant to be around.

Let me throw this out there. There are some basic truths in regard to salvation. Why can't we all just start there and work outward?

Preacher Boy posted a verse from Amos. Amos was a shepherd from the southern kingdom and was preaching to the northern kingdom. What caused the kingdom to divide in the first place? I'd say it was the monarchy. Regardless, weren't they all God's choosen?
History repeats itself. What happened then, has happened again. We have seperated ourselves from one another on issues that shouldn't be issues. Do you see the relation between the seperation of the Northern kingdom and the southern kingdom and the seperation of the Catholic / Protestant church?

When I see this couple, I see God's law of mercy and grace in effect. I see utter humility and devotion to Christ.
 
Poke said:
You should stick to your own denomination, or at least you own class (e.g. Catholic vs. liberal protestant vs. conservative protestant vs. charismatic). The same goes for socioeconomic level, race, etc.

That's funny... I come from a very poor, broken family. When I met my wife, I was a member of the cult of $cientology and my view on christianity was extreemly liberal. My wife comes from a well established family with a long history in the church and extreemly conservative... Were doing just fine as God continues to bless us :wink:
 
StoveBolts said:
Actually, they are an older couple and both have grown children.

In other words, they both have failed marriages in the past, subjected their children in the anguish of divorce, and now they're living in adultery in this new relationship. And, this keeping up with two religions hasn't gone on long, just since their recent union.

At least that is what I gather when you say they "both have grown children" instead of they "they have grown children." Even if this is not accurate, they've still introduced an unnecessary difficulty to their relationship, one significantly contributes to failed marriages.

Both of them are very knowledgable in scripture and it is my belief that they complement each other very well.

People of significantly different faiths do not compliment each other very well. But, that won't be so much of a problem for them as they have lower expectations of each other (being more experienced), have no issue of raising children, and have no issue of financial difficulty that young families face.

History repeats itself. What happened then, has happened again. We have seperated ourselves from one another on issues that shouldn't be issues. Do you see the relation between the seperation of the Northern kingdom and the southern kingdom and the seperation of the Catholic / Protestant church?

I see the analogy. One of the more troubling things for me is the division of Christians into significantly different denominations. Unity made the Catholic Church strong before the Protestant Reformation. But, corruption forced division.

I want Christians to have successful and happy marriages. The best chance for that is for people to marry people similar to themselves. Protestant and Catholic marriages won't mend the church division, they'll just stress the marriage.
 
Hi dancing queen,

dancing queen wrote:
I didn't realise dating was such a big thing or that people would be against it unless you knew you were considering marriage. How can you ever know a person and consider marriage without dating? Maybe depends on your definition of dating.

Welcome to the board, btw. I don't want to hijack this thread, and so I will keep my response brief. If you want to discuss it in more depth, I will join in if you start a topic. My late husband and I came to a lot of decisions about raising Godly children just after my first child was born. There are many decisions we made....like my staying home as a mother, home educating, leaving the city to buy a farm, etc. The idea was to protect our children, teach them of God daily by our example, and to teach them how to work for God's glory. The dating thing seemed wrong to us when we considered that area. We decided that we would not allow dating after prayer, and study, but we were not sure what the alternative looked like. Arranged marriage? In the following years, God showed us what was best for our family, even though we knew of no one else following that pattern. My oldest child is now 10, and we have seen many others tackle this subject since those days when we didn't have a clue who our children would actually marry if they weren't dating!!! :-D Now there are sites, books, and many people in our lives, who also do not hold to dating, along with other such things. I will provide you with a link to one of the first sites that I came upon that made me feel less like the odd duck, and I still enjoy it very much...though it is newer now. The Lord bless you.

http://www.boldchristianliving.com/inde ... &Itemid=25
 
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