Recently I spent a couple of weeks opening the Scriptures with church leaders in a developing nation. What a joyful experience! It encouraged me greatly to see the hunger for God’s Word exhibited by these precious saints. On one particular night, however, I saw something else that initially wasn’t quite so encouraging.
I had been sleeping for three or four hours when I woke up and could not get back to sleep. As I lie there in the darkness, something became quite clear to me. Lest I forget it, I reached for my smart phone and dictated to myself the following confession:
I battle expectations. I expect to sleep at night ,but I am not sleeping, for the dog barks at 1 a.m. and the rooster crows at 3 a.m. I expect a hotel bathroom floor to be dry, but it is not. The pipes leak. I expect the food to be pleasant to my tastes, but at times it is not. I expect to feel healthy so I can serve well, but I have felt sick for several days, struggling to function, uncomfortable much of the time.
Will I have joy in this experience? By God’s grace, I can, but I must change my expectations. This is a simple but vital principle. The experience of joy in life and ministry is linked to what I do with my expectations."
Perhaps I should say, we all have them, especially pastors. When I became a pastor thirty-five years ago, I entered the ministry with some powerful expectations. I expected the church to grow. I expected people to appreciate me. I expected to be healthy (at least most of the time). And if I may be brutally honest, I expected my wife and children and congregation to embrace my expectations.
Of course, I had negative expectations, too. I did not expect the problems that came: the church split after nine years; I experienced 15 days per month of migraine pain that lasted for decades; there were also a host of other unpleasant and unexpected realities.
So, what happens when a pastor’s expectations are not met? What happens when his expectations become ruling desires in his heart, when they become his master and he becomes their slave? What happens—and I can say this from three decades of pastoral experience—is that he begins to experience discouragement, anxiety, self-pity, and potentially depression. This is what unmet expectations can produce in a pastor’s life.
Unless… Unless the pastor who battles unmet expectations learns to engage a very specific, God-commanded activity. What is this activity? It is the activity that Paul practices as he sings in his jail cell in Philippi. It is the same activity that Paul mentions in nearly every epistle he wrote. It happens to be the perspective-changing activity that the Lord brought to my mind in that hotel room the night the rooster was crowing.
It is thanksgiving. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, the apostle Paul gives this simple charge, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” I know those are familiar words, but they are familiar for a reason. Giving thanks is an essential activity, especially for those in the ministry.
It’s worth noting that Paul does not say we are to give thanks for all circumstances, but rather in all circumstances. Paul is a realist. Unpleasant circumstances are unpleasant. We may find it difficult to express thanks for them, but we can (and must) express thanks in them.
Why? Because this is the will of God for us, says Paul. Our Father is pleased when we express our appreciation to Him for what He is doing in our lives, including what He is doing through the unpleasant realities in our lives.
And what makes this possible? We see the answer in those three significant words. In Christ Jesus. Being in Christ Jesus is what makes it possible for a self-absorbed sinner like me to stop being self-absorbed, and start giving thanks even when the circumstances are unpleasant.
Think about it. Anybody can give thanks when they experience things they like. Your unsaved neighbor can say, “Thanks for the promotion at work!” But it is to those who are in Christ Jesus that the Lord Himself gives the supernatural ability to give thanks in all circumstances. This is good news for all of us, espcially pastors, for pastoral life is certainly filled with unmet expectations.
Expectations. We all have them. Every time we do something, they are churning away in our hearts. For instance, we preach a sermon, and whether we say it or not, we expect things. We expect people to be there when we preach, to listen to us, to not be checking their email, to appreciate all the hard work we put into preparing this sermon, and more.
This is life, every day. We keep cranking out our expectations. We expect our team to win the big game on Saturday. We expect the weather to cooperate with our plans. We expect to feel well when we get up in the morning. We expect to get a good night of sleep when the day ends.
And what happens to these expectations? Some of them are met, some unmet. And it is the unmet expectations that can get us. Unless, we learn, enabled by God’s grace, to give thanks in all circumstances.
The day before I dictated my journal entry, I met an 87-year-old man who had been a pastor for 50-plus years in his developing country. He shared with me his story about how God saved him in 1957, about how he later went to prison for being a Christian, as well as about one of his children who now works with leprosy patients. What struck me about this pastor was his incredible joy.
How do you experience joy when life is so difficult? This man had learned to submit his expectations to the Lordship of Christ. His example reminded me that, by God’s grace, I must do the same every time I experience unmet expectations.
And so must you, my pastor friend. You and I must realize that God intends to use our unmet expectations to accomplish something for His greater glory and our greater joy. This is Romans 8:28-29. All things work together for good. And what is the good? Our Father is conforming us to the likeness of His Son. This knowledge is what gives us joy when our expectations disappoint us. He has something eternally better in store.
I emphasize the word learn, because as those who are in Christ, we have the power to do this. But we must learn to do it, then resolve to do it. And this takes practice.
I think lists can help us. Like the list we see in Psalm 103, where the psalmist talks to himself and says, “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.” Then this man of God intentionally recounts five benefits he has received from the Lord. He forgives all my iniquities. He heals all my diseases. He redeems my life from destruction. He crowns me with loving kindness and tender mercy. He satisfies my mouth with good things.
When I’m feeling the sting of unmet expectations, I must not be passive. I must begin to rehearse the undeserved blessings I have received, whether I feel like it or not. And having a prepared list can help me do that.
So I encourage you to make a list. You might start your list with these five benefits from Psalm 103, and then add other blessings to it. But don’t stop there. Your list is simply a tool. Use your list to turn your unmet expectations into God-pleasing prayers of thanksgiving.
I encourage you to memorize 1 Thessalonians 5:18. Then, put it into practice. Allow it to shape the way you respond to life’s unpleasant circumstances. Be intentional about giving thanks. Is there more that should be done? Possibly. But never less than this. Express thanks to the Lord for what He is up to in every circumstance.
If you are interested, I preached a message on this topic recently at the church I pastor. You can access the transcript and audio at wheelersburgbaptist.com. Just search for the sermon, “Dealing with Unmet Expectations by Giving Thanks.”
The post Dealing with Unmet Expectations…By Giving Thanks appeared first on Focus on the Family.
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I had been sleeping for three or four hours when I woke up and could not get back to sleep. As I lie there in the darkness, something became quite clear to me. Lest I forget it, I reached for my smart phone and dictated to myself the following confession:
I battle expectations. I expect to sleep at night ,but I am not sleeping, for the dog barks at 1 a.m. and the rooster crows at 3 a.m. I expect a hotel bathroom floor to be dry, but it is not. The pipes leak. I expect the food to be pleasant to my tastes, but at times it is not. I expect to feel healthy so I can serve well, but I have felt sick for several days, struggling to function, uncomfortable much of the time.
Will I have joy in this experience? By God’s grace, I can, but I must change my expectations. This is a simple but vital principle. The experience of joy in life and ministry is linked to what I do with my expectations."
Unmet expectations. We all have them, including pastors.
Perhaps I should say, we all have them, especially pastors. When I became a pastor thirty-five years ago, I entered the ministry with some powerful expectations. I expected the church to grow. I expected people to appreciate me. I expected to be healthy (at least most of the time). And if I may be brutally honest, I expected my wife and children and congregation to embrace my expectations.
Of course, I had negative expectations, too. I did not expect the problems that came: the church split after nine years; I experienced 15 days per month of migraine pain that lasted for decades; there were also a host of other unpleasant and unexpected realities.
So, what happens when a pastor’s expectations are not met? What happens when his expectations become ruling desires in his heart, when they become his master and he becomes their slave? What happens—and I can say this from three decades of pastoral experience—is that he begins to experience discouragement, anxiety, self-pity, and potentially depression. This is what unmet expectations can produce in a pastor’s life.
Unless… Unless the pastor who battles unmet expectations learns to engage a very specific, God-commanded activity. What is this activity? It is the activity that Paul practices as he sings in his jail cell in Philippi. It is the same activity that Paul mentions in nearly every epistle he wrote. It happens to be the perspective-changing activity that the Lord brought to my mind in that hotel room the night the rooster was crowing.
It is thanksgiving. In 1 Thessalonians 5:18, the apostle Paul gives this simple charge, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” I know those are familiar words, but they are familiar for a reason. Giving thanks is an essential activity, especially for those in the ministry.
It’s worth noting that Paul does not say we are to give thanks for all circumstances, but rather in all circumstances. Paul is a realist. Unpleasant circumstances are unpleasant. We may find it difficult to express thanks for them, but we can (and must) express thanks in them.
Why? Because this is the will of God for us, says Paul. Our Father is pleased when we express our appreciation to Him for what He is doing in our lives, including what He is doing through the unpleasant realities in our lives.
And what makes this possible? We see the answer in those three significant words. In Christ Jesus. Being in Christ Jesus is what makes it possible for a self-absorbed sinner like me to stop being self-absorbed, and start giving thanks even when the circumstances are unpleasant.
Think about it. Anybody can give thanks when they experience things they like. Your unsaved neighbor can say, “Thanks for the promotion at work!” But it is to those who are in Christ Jesus that the Lord Himself gives the supernatural ability to give thanks in all circumstances. This is good news for all of us, espcially pastors, for pastoral life is certainly filled with unmet expectations.
Learning to give thanks for what I did not expect is vital for experiencing joy.
Expectations. We all have them. Every time we do something, they are churning away in our hearts. For instance, we preach a sermon, and whether we say it or not, we expect things. We expect people to be there when we preach, to listen to us, to not be checking their email, to appreciate all the hard work we put into preparing this sermon, and more.
This is life, every day. We keep cranking out our expectations. We expect our team to win the big game on Saturday. We expect the weather to cooperate with our plans. We expect to feel well when we get up in the morning. We expect to get a good night of sleep when the day ends.
And what happens to these expectations? Some of them are met, some unmet. And it is the unmet expectations that can get us. Unless, we learn, enabled by God’s grace, to give thanks in all circumstances.
The day before I dictated my journal entry, I met an 87-year-old man who had been a pastor for 50-plus years in his developing country. He shared with me his story about how God saved him in 1957, about how he later went to prison for being a Christian, as well as about one of his children who now works with leprosy patients. What struck me about this pastor was his incredible joy.
How do you experience joy when life is so difficult? This man had learned to submit his expectations to the Lordship of Christ. His example reminded me that, by God’s grace, I must do the same every time I experience unmet expectations.
And so must you, my pastor friend. You and I must realize that God intends to use our unmet expectations to accomplish something for His greater glory and our greater joy. This is Romans 8:28-29. All things work together for good. And what is the good? Our Father is conforming us to the likeness of His Son. This knowledge is what gives us joy when our expectations disappoint us. He has something eternally better in store.
We must learn to give thanks when our expectations go unmet.
I emphasize the word learn, because as those who are in Christ, we have the power to do this. But we must learn to do it, then resolve to do it. And this takes practice.
I think lists can help us. Like the list we see in Psalm 103, where the psalmist talks to himself and says, “Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.” Then this man of God intentionally recounts five benefits he has received from the Lord. He forgives all my iniquities. He heals all my diseases. He redeems my life from destruction. He crowns me with loving kindness and tender mercy. He satisfies my mouth with good things.
When I’m feeling the sting of unmet expectations, I must not be passive. I must begin to rehearse the undeserved blessings I have received, whether I feel like it or not. And having a prepared list can help me do that.
So I encourage you to make a list. You might start your list with these five benefits from Psalm 103, and then add other blessings to it. But don’t stop there. Your list is simply a tool. Use your list to turn your unmet expectations into God-pleasing prayers of thanksgiving.
Dealing with Unmet Expectations – Where to go next?
I encourage you to memorize 1 Thessalonians 5:18. Then, put it into practice. Allow it to shape the way you respond to life’s unpleasant circumstances. Be intentional about giving thanks. Is there more that should be done? Possibly. But never less than this. Express thanks to the Lord for what He is up to in every circumstance.
If you are interested, I preached a message on this topic recently at the church I pastor. You can access the transcript and audio at wheelersburgbaptist.com. Just search for the sermon, “Dealing with Unmet Expectations by Giving Thanks.”
The post Dealing with Unmet Expectations…By Giving Thanks appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...