M
MrVersatile48
Guest
I know: it should be a woman posting this - but the writer is one.. 8-)
& part 2 is on Tuesday, so I just have time to tidy up a bit:- :wink:
A Heart that Says "Welcome": Develop the Gift of Hospitality
Karen Ehman
I trekked off to the library in our little town of Three Rivers, Michigan. I checked out every book that had the word "entertaining" in the title. I read The Joy of Cooking from cover to cover. But I stayed away from Betty Crocker because I had already been burned by Betty once. I learned to make fancy hors d'oeuvres and to bake a double-crust pie from scratch, and I even once, but only once, sewed my own kitchen valances.
I was determined that our tiny apartment would look like one of the homes featured in the pages of Country Living magazine - perfectly decorated with exquisite furniture and coordinating decorator fabrics. There would be loaves of homemade whole wheat bread nestled in antique baskets alongside sparkling jars of jams and jellies and beautiful berry pies cooling on the counter.
There was only one problem. We were living on my husband's youth pastor salary and obviously weren't in the same income bracket as dear folks featured in the pages of Country Living magazine. And I noticed something about those pages: there were never any people in those pictures, let alone children. What would we do when they came along? Hide the diapers and baby wipes in an antique cedar trunk? Hang a lovely potted fern in the baby swing and hope no one would notice?
At the same time all of this was going on, I was still meeting almost weekly with the pastor's wife from the church I went to while I was in high school. She had first reached out to me when I was a lonely teenager, telling me of a God who could be the Father to the fatherless.
As she opened her life to me, the lessons my mother taught me and the biblical truths she'd tried to instill into me all began to make sense. My mother's prayers were answered as I solidified my decision for Christ and became a believer. Now that I was a young bride, Pat stuck by her commitment to disciple me.
I noticed something different about my frequent visits to her home. I always felt that she was thrilled to have me over. She'd have waiting my favorite cup of herbal tea and a throw blanket for me to cuddle up in. She'd fix me lunch and visit with me, asking me about our new marriage. She'd inquire if there was anything at all she could pray about for me. And two things were consistent each time I went to her home.
First, she always had her tattered, worn, brown leather Bible lying open on the counter, like she had probably just finished reading it. And second, she didn't just ask me how she could pray for me. She'd stop right then and pray with me in her driveway before I got back into my little Volkswagen Rabbit to make the two-hour trip back home. More than anyplace else on earth, her home made me feel welcomed and pampered while I was there and refreshed when I left.
Now let me tell you about her home: It was an old church parsonage. It hadn't been redecorated in years! Her colors were an array of avocado green, harvest gold, and Brady Bunch burnt orange. (What were they thinking in the 1970s?)
She had shag carpet, which frankly has always given me the creeps because I wonder just what is hiding in there. Many of the items in her home were in desperate need of updating or replacement, but because it was a church parsonage, they couldn't make any changes without first running it by several committees. So they decided they'd just make do. Pat kept her home as charming and clean as she could and regularly opened it up as a haven to whomever God brought her way.
Her lunches were very simple. Sometimes she'd feed me creamed chipped beef served over day-old bread that had been made into toast. She'd chuckle and halfway apologize because that was what her father had eaten in the army. But you know what? It tasted like a gourmet feast when I was in her presence.
And all of those books I had been poring over trying to be the perfect hostess? Well, it was through this dear mentor, my friend Pat, that I finally wised up and realized I had been reading the wrong books. They weren't the ones she had lying open on her counter. God began to teach me that there is a huge difference between "entertaining" and offering hospitality.
Entertaining puts the emphasis on you and how you can impress others. Offering hospitality puts the emphasis on others and strives to meet their physical and spiritual needs so that they feel refreshed, not impressed, when they leave your home.
Now, it isn't wrong to want to serve good food or have an attractive, clean house. Actually the Bible says to undertake any task at hand as though we were working for God himself (see Col. 3:23). But like so much of life, it all comes down to the motives of your heart. Are you trying to impress others with your entertaining prowess, like I was? Or are you trying to refresh them and point them toward the Lord? I thought entertaining meant you fluffed the cushions each time a guest stood up from the couch and ran around straightening any little thing that got out of place. You know, keep up that perfect "magazine look."
Or that I had to plan and execute a five-course meal that had to be baked in a 400-degree oven on a 95-degree July day in an un-air-conditioned apartment the size of a postage stamp, just to impress two of my sisters-in-law with lunch while they were in town. I had to learn the hard way that offering hospitality is much more about the condition of your heart than the condition of your home.
And I've come to realize too that hospitality does not always need to involve your home. Maybe you are someone with limited living space or a woman whose husband does not share your desire to open up your home to others. If that is the case with you, then you are going to need to learn to implement some ideas that I call "hospitality on the road."
So, HGTV wannabes, cooking class dropouts, and hesitant housekeepers, will you join me in the journey to see your life as a channel for God's unconditional love to others within your sphere of influence? Will you shelve your decorating magazines for a while and commit to learning his ways of reaching out to others? Will you dust off your Bible and give your heart a good spring cleaning before you start to scrub your home? If the answer is yes, then listen. Hear God's heartbeat for the lonely, the lost, the less-than-lovely. Determine to be his hands and feet to family and friends alike. Adopt a lifestyle of reaching out to those whom God puts in your path. You won't regret it. I promise.
Points to Ponder
• Can you think of any people in your life who regularly show heartfelt hospitality to others? How have you felt when you were a guest in their home? What specifically did they do that made you feel welcomed?
• Have you made any past attempts at entertaining out of a desire to impress others? What happened? How would you go back and do it differently if you could?
• Think of two or three friends whom you would feel comfortable inviting over. Make arrangements to have just one of them over for a simple lunch in the next two weeks. Remind yourself: hospitality starts somewhere - with small steps!
• What has been your experience when it comes to entertaining? Discuss with a friend what kind of home you come from. Did you have others over often or not? Were you ever a guest, and what good experiences do you remember? How have such experiences influenced your hospitality habits today?
A Look in the Book
• Look up 1 Peter 4:8-10. What does this passage say about how we are to offer hospitality? Does it sound like it is an option or a command? What part does love play? In what ways do you feel this Scripture passage nudging you?
• How would you rate yourself on the "grumbling and complaining" scale when it comes to offering hospitality? Do you pass with flying colors or flunk out?
• Read 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. How has God comforted you in the past? How could you in turn use that comfort to reach out to another person going through the same kind of trial? What is a tangible way you could meet their needs, both physically and spiritually?
Putting It Into Practice
• Name someone in your life whom God is nudging you to reach out to. What could you do to help lighten their load? What has been keeping you from contacting them? Time, resources, busyness? How will you go about changing this?
• How can you carve out time regularly to meet the needs of others? What would have to go? Time spent watching television, sleeping late, shopping, or pursuing hobbies?
• How can a friend help keep you accountable to change this?
Next time: The Myth of the Too-Small House
Excerpted from A Life That Says Welcome (Revell) by Karen Ehman. © 2006 by Karen Ehman. Used with permission from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group. All rights reserved.
Karen Ehman is a speaker for Hearts at Home and the coathor of the popular Homespun Gifts from the Heart and Homespun Memories for the Heart.
& part 2 is on Tuesday, so I just have time to tidy up a bit:- :wink:
A Heart that Says "Welcome": Develop the Gift of Hospitality
Karen Ehman
I trekked off to the library in our little town of Three Rivers, Michigan. I checked out every book that had the word "entertaining" in the title. I read The Joy of Cooking from cover to cover. But I stayed away from Betty Crocker because I had already been burned by Betty once. I learned to make fancy hors d'oeuvres and to bake a double-crust pie from scratch, and I even once, but only once, sewed my own kitchen valances.
I was determined that our tiny apartment would look like one of the homes featured in the pages of Country Living magazine - perfectly decorated with exquisite furniture and coordinating decorator fabrics. There would be loaves of homemade whole wheat bread nestled in antique baskets alongside sparkling jars of jams and jellies and beautiful berry pies cooling on the counter.
There was only one problem. We were living on my husband's youth pastor salary and obviously weren't in the same income bracket as dear folks featured in the pages of Country Living magazine. And I noticed something about those pages: there were never any people in those pictures, let alone children. What would we do when they came along? Hide the diapers and baby wipes in an antique cedar trunk? Hang a lovely potted fern in the baby swing and hope no one would notice?
At the same time all of this was going on, I was still meeting almost weekly with the pastor's wife from the church I went to while I was in high school. She had first reached out to me when I was a lonely teenager, telling me of a God who could be the Father to the fatherless.
As she opened her life to me, the lessons my mother taught me and the biblical truths she'd tried to instill into me all began to make sense. My mother's prayers were answered as I solidified my decision for Christ and became a believer. Now that I was a young bride, Pat stuck by her commitment to disciple me.
I noticed something different about my frequent visits to her home. I always felt that she was thrilled to have me over. She'd have waiting my favorite cup of herbal tea and a throw blanket for me to cuddle up in. She'd fix me lunch and visit with me, asking me about our new marriage. She'd inquire if there was anything at all she could pray about for me. And two things were consistent each time I went to her home.
First, she always had her tattered, worn, brown leather Bible lying open on the counter, like she had probably just finished reading it. And second, she didn't just ask me how she could pray for me. She'd stop right then and pray with me in her driveway before I got back into my little Volkswagen Rabbit to make the two-hour trip back home. More than anyplace else on earth, her home made me feel welcomed and pampered while I was there and refreshed when I left.
Now let me tell you about her home: It was an old church parsonage. It hadn't been redecorated in years! Her colors were an array of avocado green, harvest gold, and Brady Bunch burnt orange. (What were they thinking in the 1970s?)
She had shag carpet, which frankly has always given me the creeps because I wonder just what is hiding in there. Many of the items in her home were in desperate need of updating or replacement, but because it was a church parsonage, they couldn't make any changes without first running it by several committees. So they decided they'd just make do. Pat kept her home as charming and clean as she could and regularly opened it up as a haven to whomever God brought her way.
Her lunches were very simple. Sometimes she'd feed me creamed chipped beef served over day-old bread that had been made into toast. She'd chuckle and halfway apologize because that was what her father had eaten in the army. But you know what? It tasted like a gourmet feast when I was in her presence.
And all of those books I had been poring over trying to be the perfect hostess? Well, it was through this dear mentor, my friend Pat, that I finally wised up and realized I had been reading the wrong books. They weren't the ones she had lying open on her counter. God began to teach me that there is a huge difference between "entertaining" and offering hospitality.
Entertaining puts the emphasis on you and how you can impress others. Offering hospitality puts the emphasis on others and strives to meet their physical and spiritual needs so that they feel refreshed, not impressed, when they leave your home.
Now, it isn't wrong to want to serve good food or have an attractive, clean house. Actually the Bible says to undertake any task at hand as though we were working for God himself (see Col. 3:23). But like so much of life, it all comes down to the motives of your heart. Are you trying to impress others with your entertaining prowess, like I was? Or are you trying to refresh them and point them toward the Lord? I thought entertaining meant you fluffed the cushions each time a guest stood up from the couch and ran around straightening any little thing that got out of place. You know, keep up that perfect "magazine look."
Or that I had to plan and execute a five-course meal that had to be baked in a 400-degree oven on a 95-degree July day in an un-air-conditioned apartment the size of a postage stamp, just to impress two of my sisters-in-law with lunch while they were in town. I had to learn the hard way that offering hospitality is much more about the condition of your heart than the condition of your home.
And I've come to realize too that hospitality does not always need to involve your home. Maybe you are someone with limited living space or a woman whose husband does not share your desire to open up your home to others. If that is the case with you, then you are going to need to learn to implement some ideas that I call "hospitality on the road."
So, HGTV wannabes, cooking class dropouts, and hesitant housekeepers, will you join me in the journey to see your life as a channel for God's unconditional love to others within your sphere of influence? Will you shelve your decorating magazines for a while and commit to learning his ways of reaching out to others? Will you dust off your Bible and give your heart a good spring cleaning before you start to scrub your home? If the answer is yes, then listen. Hear God's heartbeat for the lonely, the lost, the less-than-lovely. Determine to be his hands and feet to family and friends alike. Adopt a lifestyle of reaching out to those whom God puts in your path. You won't regret it. I promise.
Points to Ponder
• Can you think of any people in your life who regularly show heartfelt hospitality to others? How have you felt when you were a guest in their home? What specifically did they do that made you feel welcomed?
• Have you made any past attempts at entertaining out of a desire to impress others? What happened? How would you go back and do it differently if you could?
• Think of two or three friends whom you would feel comfortable inviting over. Make arrangements to have just one of them over for a simple lunch in the next two weeks. Remind yourself: hospitality starts somewhere - with small steps!
• What has been your experience when it comes to entertaining? Discuss with a friend what kind of home you come from. Did you have others over often or not? Were you ever a guest, and what good experiences do you remember? How have such experiences influenced your hospitality habits today?
A Look in the Book
• Look up 1 Peter 4:8-10. What does this passage say about how we are to offer hospitality? Does it sound like it is an option or a command? What part does love play? In what ways do you feel this Scripture passage nudging you?
• How would you rate yourself on the "grumbling and complaining" scale when it comes to offering hospitality? Do you pass with flying colors or flunk out?
• Read 2 Corinthians 1:3-4. How has God comforted you in the past? How could you in turn use that comfort to reach out to another person going through the same kind of trial? What is a tangible way you could meet their needs, both physically and spiritually?
Putting It Into Practice
• Name someone in your life whom God is nudging you to reach out to. What could you do to help lighten their load? What has been keeping you from contacting them? Time, resources, busyness? How will you go about changing this?
• How can you carve out time regularly to meet the needs of others? What would have to go? Time spent watching television, sleeping late, shopping, or pursuing hobbies?
• How can a friend help keep you accountable to change this?
Next time: The Myth of the Too-Small House
Excerpted from A Life That Says Welcome (Revell) by Karen Ehman. © 2006 by Karen Ehman. Used with permission from Revell, a division of Baker Publishing Group. All rights reserved.
Karen Ehman is a speaker for Hearts at Home and the coathor of the popular Homespun Gifts from the Heart and Homespun Memories for the Heart.
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