Divorce

[dashboardchic19]

I think my husband is going to divorce me. I am a stay at home mom and he told me to get a job and he is getting a lawyer. I don’t know where to start. My 6 year old is in virtual school sand I have a two year old. My parents live three hours away so I really don’t have any help. I don’t know what to do or where to begin.

 

[Tessa]

Dashboard I am sorry that you are going through all this torment. You have told us a lot in previous posts of what you are suffering in your marriage. I can't see that your husband had any grounds for divorce.
But if the worse happens don't be afraid. It's not easy but you get tlhrough it. I divorced my first husband a.d brought my twins children up by myself. I had a part time job at first, to cover school hours. When they were old enough I changed to full time. It was a struggle but God brought me through.
Your husband may not go ahead with this. But it may be wise to have a plan. Who would look after your children while you was at work? Or would you be able to work at home?
What do you want to happen yourself?
Don"t be afraid just put your trust in The Lord.
Did he say why he wants a divorce?

 

[dashboardchic19]

Dashboard I am sorry that you are going through all this torment. You have told us a lot in previous posts of what you are suffering in your marriage. I can't see that your husband had any grounds for divorce.
But if the worse happens don't be afraid. It's not easy but you get tlhrough it. I divorced my first husband a.d brought my twins children up by myself. I had a part time job at first, to cover school hours. When they were old enough I changed to full time. It was a struggle but God brought me through.
Your husband may not go ahead with this. But it may be wise to have a plan. Who would look after your children while you was at work? Or would you be able to work at home?
What do you want to happen yourself?
Don"t be afraid just put your trust in The Lord.
Did he say why he wants a divorce?

Thanks for replying Tessa, you seem like such a kind soul.

He said he wants a divorce because we don’t get along.I feel like everything I do makes him angry. If the kids ask for anything he gets fuming mad. He says mean things when he is mad. He comes home from work and puts on headphones and plays on his phone and drinks most every night. I take care of the kids. If he has to do something he is angry. He said he knows he has an anger problem but he refuses to get help or go to couples therapy. He said it won’t change anything. He said he can’t change who he is.I don’t know what to do. I want to fix things but I don’t think I can if it’s only me trying.

 

[Tessa]

You are so right Dashboard it takes two to fix a marriage. There must be times you feel exhausted and so alone.
I don't know if you both go to church. If you do would he speak to a pastor?
Don't give up praying and then you will know whatever happens it will be for your good.
I don't know how your country works with these things or what help you can get.
I'm going to be praying for you.
Don't lose heart God woll be with you.

 

[tdidymas]

Thanks for replying Tessa, you seem like such a kind soul.

He said he wants a divorce because we don’t get along.I feel like everything I do makes him angry. If the kids ask for anything he gets fuming mad. He says mean things when he is mad. He comes home from work and puts on headphones and plays on his phone and drinks most every night. I take care of the kids. If he has to do something he is angry. He said he knows he has an anger problem but he refuses to get help or go to couples therapy. He said it won’t change anything. He said he can’t change who he is.I don’t know what to do. I want to fix things but I don’t think I can if it’s only me trying.

I can only imagine the agony you are going through. I hope that this experience is getting you to cry out to God for relief, and getting you more into the Bible, and I'm thinking of Proverbs. I pray that God will give you wisdom and strength through this experience.

It sounds as if your hubby is really an unbeliever. Paul wrote in 1 Cor. 7 that if the unbeliever wishes to leave, let him leave (that is, divorce), because "God has called us to peace." If he is unwilling to make necessary changes in himself to repair the relationship, then it is clear evidence that he doesn't believe in God's willingness to change his desires to something better than he currently has. In other words, it sounds as if he is lazy and undisciplined, and just wants out of the misery he thinks he is in, and has no more patience for his family. However, he did one good thing for you by warning you that you should get a job in preparation for his leaving you and the children. It is possible he is sorely afraid of his own sin, hurt, and rage, and unwilling to confess it to a counselor because of his unbelief.

Yet, God can do miraculous things, and He works in mysterious ways. Keep praying for him, and serving him in the best way you can, and perhaps God will grant him repentance that leads to life. But if he finally leaves, then tend your prayers to yourself and your children, and let him go his way.
TD

 

[dashboardchic19]

I can only imagine the agony you are going through. I hope that this experience is getting you to cry out to God for relief, and getting you more into the Bible, and I'm thinking of Proverbs. I pray that God will give you wisdom and strength through this experience.

It sounds as if your hubby is really an unbeliever. Paul wrote in 1 Cor. 7 that if the unbeliever wishes to leave, let him leave (that is, divorce), because "God has called us to peace." If he is unwilling to make necessary changes in himself to repair the relationship, then it is clear evidence that he doesn't believe in God's willingness to change his desires to something better than he currently has. In other words, it sounds as if he is lazy and undisciplined, and just wants out of the misery he thinks he is in, and has no more patience for his family. However, he did one good thing for you by warning you that you should get a job in preparation for his leaving you and the children. It is possible he is sorely afraid of his own sin, hurt, and rage, and unwilling to confess it to a counselor because of his unbelief.

Yet, God can do miraculous things, and He works in mysterious ways. Keep praying for him, and serving him in the best way you can, and perhaps God will grant him repentance that leads to life. But if he finally leaves, then tend your prayers to yourself and your children, and let him go his way.
TD

I told him I thought if we had more faith it would help our marriage and family. He just dismissed me. I don’t think he believes in God. When we first started dating I wasn’t sure what I believed, but now I believe in God. I told him that since he won’t get counseling then I will. At least I can maybe better myself for my kids.