[__ Prayer __] Doubting

[handy]

I'm generally not a doubter. Generally, I believe strongly that God is working, that His will is being done, that things, for better or for worse, work out His purposes in our lives. We have been through about 12 years of uphill financial struggles and each time it seemed as if things would get better something terrible has happened, up to and including the roof blowing off the house. And, I've remained faithful and confident throughout that whole time, knowing that we could trust God to bring us through it...which He has!

However, I have to confess I'm struggling with something right now.

12 years ago, we bought this ranch we live on. The day after we closed on the house, Steve lost his job. That was a good thing...really! But, since then, we have struggled to keep things going. Partly because earlier in the decade, Steve could only get low-paying, part-time jobs. Then, when he got a good paying full-time job, the economy was so bad that cuts were made and he still wound up working mainly part time.

Well, starting Monday, Steve will be starting a new job...same work, different company...and there are just so many benefits with this new job. It is full time, and salaried, so even if a client quits the program or is hospitialized, Steve will get paid. It has better benefits and he will start out making over $10,000 a year more than what he is making now. Plus, he will be working in the same town we go to church in, a mere 40 miles away, instead of leaving Monday morning and coming home on Fridays. Daddy home every night!

I guess my problem is that we have struggled for so long, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. I keep thinking "This is too good to be true." I'm just waiting for something terrible to happen, like they tell him that funding was denied so they can't hire him after all, or that he misunderstood the pay level and he'll be making $10,000 less than he's making now.

This is really terrible of me, I know. I'm not a word/faith, "words have power over our spiritual lives", sort of person, so I don't I'm cursing anything by feeling this way...I just think it's horribly unfaithful of me to believe that God isn't going to bring us through a time of prosperity and that our time of struggling is over, that this is just some kind of cruel "gotcha" waiting to happen.

Monday, in addition to being the start of his new job, is Steve's and my 13th wedding anniversary. After I finish working, I'm heading to the house our folks have in town and Steve and I are spending the weekend there, just the two of us. And, I want to be upbeat and positive about the upcoming job...not be a downer to Steve, especially on our anniversary.

If I can have faith in God during the bad times...why am I struggling so much with believing that He will now bring us good times?

 

[Vince]

Handy, most of our fears never come true. And most people will never be able to own a ranch. And most people will never have a wonderful family like yours. And best of all, when it's over, you'll go to Heaven.

 

[Mike]

I'm right there with you, Handy. I have moments of guilt that I haven't learned from all the times God has seen us through periods of anxiety. You'd think I would have learned by now, but I have to be taught over and over again.

It helps me to focus on the wisdom of the Psalms. On a practical level, it helps me to really think about the worst things that can happen as a result of struggling finances. We lose our house and move into a smaller place? I think this wouldn't be the end of happiness. Really, when you think of anything you could lose, would it mean you wouldn't adjust and have much to be thankful for? Probably not. In the past 10 years, many people are struggling to make ends meet because they've been laid off or are earning less than they did before. I do believe there is a blessing through all of this. Many people are simplifying their lives to adjust to knew finances, and that can be a good thing.

I find I am less anxious when I'm in a good place spiritually and my prayer life is strong. Unfortunately, I have seasons when my prayer life drops off. I've already prayed that you will be given the strength to be still and know that He is God.

 

[Glowstique]

I dont believe that being afraid that something bad will happen will make something bad happen, but fear and stress is bad for your health. Trusting God isnt always easy. Somethings are just out of our control, and we have to leave it up to God. Ill be praying for you and your family.

 

[reba]

What kind of ranch?

Good grief with a ranch how do you find the time to be here?


Joh 10:10 The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, cause doubt, steal joy, and to destroy peace : I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
Joh 10:11 I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep

 

[darktipper]

I would not doubt that blessing and just thank god and ride the wave....
Many around the nation are not as lucky.....

 

[handy]

Thanks for the encouragement friends...I'm still struggling with doubt, but, I'll praise God anyway!

Today is Steve's first day on the new job. He was pretty nervous when he left this morning. Please pray that he doesn't have any seizures, which can happen when he's really stressed with nervousness.

 

[Jeremiah1]

In answering your question at the end of your post (why do you feel this way?) I'm not sure, but it might possibly be that you don't feel worthy of being richly blessed. I don't know if that has anything to do with it or not, just a thought.

If that is so, just remember that it pleases God to bless the house of his servants (2 Samuel 7:29).

 

[dga]

Handy;

God loves you so much, that he just can not leave you helpless, worried, and without what you need. He loves you because he is Love, and because of what Jesus has done for us, and not because of what we do, or how much we obey him.

Love always cares, guides, provides, protects, comforts ...

Your life, body and your needs, are more important to God, than any material thing, money, jobs, houses, because only you are made in his image, which is Love. And because he cares more for you, than for any other material thing, that is why he will provide all you need (Matthew 6:24,25). When
God looks at your life, and your body, and looks, at other material things, which one matters to him more?

Your pain, is his pain, because when you hurt, it hurts him, because he is your Father, and you his child. The pain of the child is also the pain of the Father.

But, his love and provision have also to be received with faith. He has called us to believe, that when we pray, we have actually already received in the NOW, even before it is manifested in the material world (Mark 11:23,24). Our needs are God's idea, therefore, he cares to provide.

He did not spare his own son Jesus, but gave him to die for us. So would he not also give us, what we need? Romans 8:32-39


1 John 3:1, 4:10,16,19, John 3:16, 14:21,23, 16:27, 17:23,26, Psalm 103:8,11,13,17,18, Psalm 108:4, Psalm 63:3, Psalm 145:7,8,9,17,20, Psalm 147:11, Psalm 52:8, Psalm 25:6,7,8,10, Titus 3:4,5, Lamentations 3:22,23,25,31,32,33, Psalm 31:16,19,21, Psalm 33:5,18,22, 1 John 4:16, Exodus 33:19, 34:6,7, Ephesians 2:4-9, 3:14-19, 5:1, 6:23, John 17:23,26, Matthew 5:45, 7:9,10,11, Romans 1:7, 5:5,6,7,8, 8:28,31-39, 12:2,15, Psalm 130:7, Psalm 27:13, 2 Timothy 2:12, Jeremiah 29:11, 31:3,14, 32:41,42, 33:9,11, Isaiah 30:18, Psalm 86:5,6,13,15,17, Psalm 73:1, Genesis 1:31, Psalm 13:4-6, Psalm 6:4, Psalm 17:7, Psalm 21:7, Psalm 26:3, Psalm 28:9, Psalm 34:8, Galatians 5:6, Psalm 36:5,7-10, Psalm 40:11, 48:9, Psalm 69:13,16, Psalm 94:18, Psalm 109:26, Psalm 119:68



Genesis 1:29, Psalm 103:5, Matthew 6:3,4,11, 25-34, Ephessians 4:28, Psalm 25:13, Acts 20:34, 1 Peter 5:7, Psalm 34:9,10, Psalm 33:19, Psalm 37:19, 25, Psalm 84:11, Psalm 35:27, 3 John 2, 1 Timothy 6:8-10, 17-19, Matthew 7:9,10,11, Acts 14:17, Ecclesiastes 2:25, 26, 4:8, 5:19, 20, 8:15, Mark 10:21, 12:41-44, 8:2,3,16-21, Luke 6:24, 10:34,35, 12:15-21,23,24,