FallenSoldier
Member
I posted a while back about relationships and God having someone for everyone. In that thread I talked a little about my ex and how she changed for the worse and turned me against marriage and all that good stuff. I said that she annoyed me and she was never there for me. And that we did engage in sexual relations before marriage...Lord forgive us. Our last conversation, sometime around new years last month, was not very pretty on my part (Lord forgive me again). I'm a very jealous person, and when she said she was talking to someone already, I completely lost it. Not completely because she was talking to someone so soon, but because she lied to me. She told me many times that she didn't want to date until she moved out of her parents house and was done with college. I was fine with that. Deep down I still loved her and was hoping that things might work out over time. Sometimes people need a long break to think about what they really want. When she told me she liked someone already, I pretty much went into a blind rage. We haven't spoken since.
Here's the story with her. We went to the same schools since elementary, and practically became best friends in middle school. We were band geeks together, both trumpet players. For her it was pretty much love at first sight. She had that classic middle school crush on me. But I thought she was weird then, so I just wanted to be friends. She finally asked me out in high school in my 10th grade year, she was in 9th, and we dated for a week or two, and it was a disaster so we broke up. Classic high school relationship, nothing special. We still remained friends, did stuff together, talked for hours on MSN instant chat, all that good stuff. Then one summer after we graduated high school, we took a beach trip with my parents and a buddy of mine. In the hotel room one night, I randomly started playing with her hair (guys, this is how you get her), and then she grabbed my hand. Sparks flew, angels sang, we were hitched. To make a long story short, we dated for two and a half years, and the sparks died and the angels were muzzled about two years into it. The first year or so was fantastic. She was the one and only for me. We talked about marriage, kids, a house, our future lives together. But of course all great things come to an end with me, and now I'm here with a saddened heart and nowhere to go.
Since we stopped talking, a day hasn't gone by where I haven't thought of her. I literally dream of her. It's weird because they've been sequential dreams. We started talking again in one dream, hung out in another, and last night I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Am I going completely insane???? I still feel connected with her. I can't get her off my mind. I want so bad for her to be here. To completely start over and try again. I miss her deeply. But I know that will never work out. We were too different, had too many flaws we couldn't get over. I need to get away from her. I know that the bible says when a man and woman have sexual relations, their bodies become one flesh. I regret that we ever fell into such sin. Does this connection I still feel with her have something to do with that? A buddy of mine says that we are still tied together because of sex. Is this why I can't stop thinking of her?
Here's the story with her. We went to the same schools since elementary, and practically became best friends in middle school. We were band geeks together, both trumpet players. For her it was pretty much love at first sight. She had that classic middle school crush on me. But I thought she was weird then, so I just wanted to be friends. She finally asked me out in high school in my 10th grade year, she was in 9th, and we dated for a week or two, and it was a disaster so we broke up. Classic high school relationship, nothing special. We still remained friends, did stuff together, talked for hours on MSN instant chat, all that good stuff. Then one summer after we graduated high school, we took a beach trip with my parents and a buddy of mine. In the hotel room one night, I randomly started playing with her hair (guys, this is how you get her), and then she grabbed my hand. Sparks flew, angels sang, we were hitched. To make a long story short, we dated for two and a half years, and the sparks died and the angels were muzzled about two years into it. The first year or so was fantastic. She was the one and only for me. We talked about marriage, kids, a house, our future lives together. But of course all great things come to an end with me, and now I'm here with a saddened heart and nowhere to go.
Since we stopped talking, a day hasn't gone by where I haven't thought of her. I literally dream of her. It's weird because they've been sequential dreams. We started talking again in one dream, hung out in another, and last night I asked her to marry me and she said yes. Am I going completely insane???? I still feel connected with her. I can't get her off my mind. I want so bad for her to be here. To completely start over and try again. I miss her deeply. But I know that will never work out. We were too different, had too many flaws we couldn't get over. I need to get away from her. I know that the bible says when a man and woman have sexual relations, their bodies become one flesh. I regret that we ever fell into such sin. Does this connection I still feel with her have something to do with that? A buddy of mine says that we are still tied together because of sex. Is this why I can't stop thinking of her?
