Falling in love with a Catholic with a much different lifestyle...

[ahayes1]

So, I just wanted to lay my story out here, and get feedback from anyone willing. I'm lost. I've prayed a ton, and I also want to come to my Brothers (and sisters) in Christ.

I met this girl, Amanda, at the Christian Camp I worked at this summer (we are both 20 years old). Shortly after, we began dating. I go to a college Bible college in the city and she goes to Catholic College a few hours away.

The biggest catch is this, I want to be a pastor. I am majoring in youth ministry to hopefully become a youth pastor in a church. I am 100% convinced that she is born into the Kingdom of God, but she is Roman Catholic. We have talked a lot about this issue and it isn't one of my main worries. I think it will work out if it is meant to be.

We are falling in love, I can feel it. She drank a lot her freshman year before she came back to God. She still drinks, and gets drunk occasional (something I am against). She isn't a virgin. Although I completely forgive her for her past, I am worried because she doesn't seem to regret it at all. Honestly, if I wanted to have sex with her, It think she would. She got really drunk earlier this year (before we knew each other), and slept with a guy who she is still really good friends with. I trust her, but she talks about him a lot.

Sexually: We have gone, and are going, farther than we probably should. We have not had sex, but we make out, and have been naked together. I won't go into further details.

I am also worried about how I will fit in with her family. Both of her older sisters moved in with their boyfriends before they were married, and we sleeping with them. They drink and party. I honestly do not know if their saved.

I don't know what else to say. I'm just looking for thoughts? or encouragement? Can this work? I love her, and I do not want to have to end it... but I just don't know.

 

[tim-from-pa]

Can this work?

Sure it can work, about as well as a car with only 3 wheels and one of them is going flat at that. But just in case this does not work out, I'd concentrate more on your ministry studies. I have a feeling your parents are paying to put you through that. You don't want to disappoint them, or for that matter more importantly, the Lord.

 

[theLords]

Sure it can work, about as well as a car with only 3 wheels and one of them is going flat at that. But just in case this does not work out, I'd concentrate more on your ministry studies. I have a feeling your parents are paying to put you through that. You don't want to disappoint them, or for that matter more importantly, the Lord.

I have to agree. The issue isn't Protestant/Catholic. The real issue is you are a Holy Spirit led believer on a path into ministry and must be careful (James 3:1) and this girl is leading you into big time temptation (sexually). Not a good idea, brother. She is drinking and feels no remorse over it (red alert, sound the alarms her heart is hardened in this area) and feels no remorse about being sexually impure as well. It's one thing to sin and be grieved over sin, and another thing entirely to sin and not care. You don't need the temptation she is bringing into your life. The devil goes after young people called into ministry with a vengeance. You need to be very careful. She is presenting the opportunity for you to sin against God and you should run in the opposite direction like Joseph did (even David couldn't do this).

Trust me, this young lady is not worth your relationship with God--nor your future in ministry. It'll be hard to tell other young men to obey God and stay sexually pure as a youth pastor knowing you yourself were equipped with the Grace and Biblical knowledge to obey God, but still disobeyed Him. That's the hard truth. You have the Grace to overcome lust, and the Biblical knowledge and understanding that sexually immorality is a big no-no. Your disobedience in the matter would be outright rebellion because you know better and the Holy Spirit is even convicting you to seek counsel on the matter. Now, I trust and believe the best of you, that your heart was/is/has been deeply grieved by what's already transpired. What I'm hoping to remind you of, is that the devil works ever so slyly. He doesn't tell a young Christian, "Go out and fornicate right now!" No, he takes his time, he sets a trap, changes the meaning of words, and he chips and chips away at us with temptation until we fall. One week his temptation is, "Wow, she looks so pretty in her blouse." The next few weeks, "Wow, her body...." Over a few more weeks it's, "Well, we're not having sex, we were just naked together." And over a few more weeks, "Well we didn't technically have sex just other forms of it." And before you know it 8 months have passed and you have been fully tempted to go all the way, and to keep at it, at that. (As is the case with most Christians these days. It happens before they know it). I am going to venture out and assume that when you began dating, you were fully committed to staying completely sexually pure, and your falls took time and didn't happen on the second date. See how easy Satan blinds us and then ensnares us? Your words, "We have gone, and are going, farther than we probably should" even show how Satan has blinded you to minimize the reality of the sin because of the guilt and shame associated with sinning.

No matter how much you feel you love her, let her go (Matthew 10:39) and if she is the one for you the Lord will make your path straight to wed her (without throwing you into the lion's den of temptation). You are in serious danger, brother, Satan is pining after you, your heart, your relationship with God, your future ministry, and your future wife!

 

[JohnEboy1983]

She still gets drunk. She has no remorse over past sins and doesnt really care if she continues to. She has a good friend who she had sex with and still talks about. You both have been together naked and done things. I cannot speak bad about her because I do have my struggles, but like theLords said, at least have remorse or repentance in your heart when you mess up and not wanting to continue the lifestyle of sin even if you struggle with it and this girl has absolutely none. She is a complete red flag that reads DANGER!! You need to get away from her immediately or you will jeopardize your virginity and set yourself up for a sexual immoral path that you will have great difficulty overcoming. Once you get hooked sexually its hard to ever stop. I think this girl will break your heart eventually also, if you get more involved with her. You have allready made some serious ties to her so its going to be painful to give her up, but not as painful as it will be if you stay with her. She is only a Christian by name my friend. I know a girl just like her. I really hope you listen to the advice you have received on this thread.

 

[Pard]

Couldn't agree with my fellows any more. However they hit all the other angles so let me hit it from the angle I know best...

You wish to be a youth minister? Good for you! I'm glad that you have such an awesome goal. I'm studying to be a cop myself. One thing I have to be careful about is who I associate myself with. I need to be careful because when you go to become a police officer they look into these things and really get out the nit-picker and comb through your entire life. I was and frankly still am in love with a girl who it will simply not work out with. Among other reasons I suspect she uses drugs. Imagine how it would look for me to not only associate but find myself in a serious relationship with a recreational drug user! It shows poor judgement on my part to make those kind of choices.

Back to you now...

As a youth minister do you want to have associates in your past who are alcoholics (which your friend sure sounds like...)? How about those who willingly and remorsefully have sex out of wedlock? Do you really want to be with a person you makes you stumble to the point that you are naked together? Come on man! You want to be a youth minister you can't be with people like this because it will corrupt you and/or it will hinder your ability to become a youth minister because of who you associate yourself with!

 

[HisSheep]

Then his father and his mother said unto him, Is there never a woman among the daughters of thy brethren, or among all my people, that thou goest to take a wife of the uncircumcised Philistines? And Samson said unto his father, Get her for me; for she pleaseth me well. (Judges 14:3)

You should not divide your house by marrying outside your faith. Will you have your infant children baptized in the Roman Church? Will they learn to pray the rosary? Pray for souls in Purgatory? Will you have to compromise your spiritual leadership to accommodate the superstitious beliefs of in-laws?

Being naked with this gal is plenty sinful, btw. Sexual disobedience doesn't begin with intercourse...
No matter what you do, that has to stop. It is not of Christ, and you know it in your heart. God knows that you know it too, and you can’t fool Him.

Besides, a woman who really loved you would not want to compromise your purity.

Think, “she pleaseth me well.”

-HisSheep

 

[Tidus]

I don't know if it can work as I don't know all the details, but I'll just say this.. If you do end up getting married to someone ELSE later on in life... how will your wife feel about the things you are currently doing, or going to do, with your current girlfriend?

Also, if you have your purity, you have something worth more then a ton of gold. Don't buy into the world's lie that sex doesn't have any consequines. It does, so wait till you are married and those consequines will only be good.

Just be equally yoked.. If you arnt equally yoked, it will never work, so don't waste your time/purity on something that will ultimately fail