[__ Prayer __] Family issue with wife.. she is always upset and angry

[Matthew77ask]

Here it goes again,

My wife is always angry and upset over whatever things that I do or did not do.
When she gets upset - she will scold me- and that is when I will get upset also -
and out comes a fight - which will get worst and worst I I cannot control myself .

there have been real fights - physical .

The problem is that she says that I never change - but my counselor says that over the years - she did see a lot of changes in me.
I keep praying and praying that Satan will not use me , her , us - to destroy our God's ordained marriage.
However, it seems that Satan is "winning" as she now talks about separation and divorce and so on.


Help me please dear God.

 

[reba]

This is very difficult post to reply too. Lord we ask you help this family....

 

[Kathi]

Here it goes again,

My wife is always angry and upset over whatever things that I do or did not do.
When she gets upset - she will scold me- and that is when I will get upset also -
and out comes a fight - which will get worst and worst I I cannot control myself .

there have been real fights - physical .

The problem is that she says that I never change - but my counselor says that over the years - she did see a lot of changes in me.
I keep praying and praying that Satan will not use me , her , us - to destroy our God's ordained marriage.
However, it seems that Satan is "winning" as she now talks about separation and divorce and so on.


Help me please dear God.

OK,you get on the defense from someone possibly condescending you.Have you ever discussed with your wife why she is angry?Is their some medical issue or is something going on in her life right now?I have found when you are discussing something with a person and that person is very angry and possibly shouting it is better to keep your voice very low and your words very slow.It then does not exacerbate the anger.
The physical fights have to go.That is abuse.Why should you change?Did she not know you before you were married?You can not go into a marriage expecting to change someone....it does not work.You have to love that person unconditionally.If you do not think you could endure the person then you do marry them.
You pray to God asking for his blessing on your marriage.Satan will never win if your faith is on God and only God.
I hope you and your wife have been to a good Christian counselor.I usually do no make an conclusions until I hear both sides of a story.My prayers are with you and your wife .

 

[iLOVE]

Many Christians worry about marriage, money, people, health, terrorism, and economic conditions. God says, "the antidote to worry is me being FIRST". Of all the problems we face, you name the category, to live in perpetual defeat over it, you must ask the question, "have I addressed God FIRST"? God says, "I want to be FIRST". "Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God". If that is missing, then you have just identified the cause of everything else that's wrong.

God says, "the reason why you are shook up and worried is 'cause I'm not FIRST, SO YOU GET TO TAKE CARE OF YOU'!

Yes, we acknowledge Him, yes we reference Him, but that's not sufficient for Him. He wants FIRST!

Consult His word before you get everybody else's opinion, or you talk to people who are gonna give God's word before you get the general view.

Christ is also the head of the church, which is his body. He is the beginning, supreme over all who rise from the dead. So he is first in everything. Colossians 1:18 NLT

There is a difference from good advice and Godly advice, you choose. Good advice is the spirit of the world, human talk, double minded; you will get nothing from God. Godly advice is the word of God; Cross talk. All things will be out of alignment in your life if God is not FIRST.

 

[iLOVE]

Marriage all starts with the husband. If you fear (respect) the Lord this is what He will make happen:

Blessed is every one who fears the Lord,
Who walks in His ways.
2 When you eat the labor of your hands,
You shall be happy, and it shall be well with you.
3 Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine
In the very heart of your house,
Your children like olive plants
All around your table.
4 Behold, thus shall the man be blessed
Who fears the Lord. Psalm 128 NKJV

You have tired the self-effort way and the good idea way and it continues to fail - as it should. Get Jesus involved so you can get favor from God [Psalm 41:11]...But seek you first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33 NKJV

 

[Kathi]

Here it goes again,

My wife is always angry and upset over whatever things that I do or did not do.
When she gets upset - she will scold me- and that is when I will get upset also -
and out comes a fight - which will get worst and worst I I cannot control myself .

there have been real fights - physical .

The problem is that she says that I never change - but my counselor says that over the years - she did see a lot of changes in me.
I keep praying and praying that Satan will not use me , her , us - to destroy our God's ordained marriage.
However, it seems that Satan is "winning" as she now talks about separation and divorce and so on.


Help me please dear God.

Are both you and your wife Christians?

 

[iLOVE]

"The priority of the Kingdom" is imperative. Because if you miss what's first it doesn't matter what else you do. You've lost the foundation. "Seek Ye First" gives you light from God, so that you know which way to go, which way to turn, which way to move, which way to act, which way to think, which way to walk, which way to talk, which way to relate. You know what to do because the light is shining. You lose that perspective, no wonder you're running into things, tripping over things, falling over things, because that which is light is now dark and you can't see.

"Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God" with all things; time - talent - treasures = tithing, wisdom, sweet sleep, questions, answers, decisions, solutions, resolving problems, health, sins, economic conditions, people, giving thanks, honoring, help, leading, guidance, advice or counseling, directions, leadership, providing, directions, protection, strength, etc. These things are only accepted by God if you have a willing heart.

 

[iLOVE]

The message of the Cross

You can make the Cross of Christ ineffective. It is possible for Christians to void out the Cross. To make the Cross void is to cancel out the Cross benefits to you. If we are to fix any problem, we must not void out the Cross. Disconnection from the Cross is disconnection from God’s power. The reason why we are not experiencing God’s power in our lives is because we have disconnected ourselves from the Cross. We accepted Christ when we got saved. But as a Christian we are in a process of sanctification when the grace of God brings about the transformation of life and you are now being saved. The way you experience being saved, having already becoming saved, is by the power of God as it is attached to the Cross of Christ. When you cut off the Cross of Christ the power of the Gospel doesn’t reach your life or situation. Now that you have received salvation, God now wants you to experience His power which is connected to the Cross that saved you…not the crucifix of Christ. The crucifix is different from the Cross. The Cross is Jesus no longer hanging on it. The crucifix as you see in the Catholic Church is a Cross showing Jesus still hanging on it. Jesus is not still hanging on the Cross. The Cross that Jesus died on exist for one reason only. The only reason Jesus died was to take upon the sins of the world. He only died for sin(s). The Cross isn’t there for no other reason but sin. So to invoke the Cross on any other subject is to invoke it on an issue that it doesn’t exist for. “Behold the Lamb of God that has taken away the sins of the world”....Jesus died having become sin for us. The issue on the Cross is singular. To fix any problem that exist in your life; your heart, your family, your mind, your church, or whatever it is, you must understand the problem and then locate the sin behind it. Once you have identified the sin that is at the root of the problem, you can now invoke the problem. Many Christians and people want to solve the problem but don’t want to address the sin, and wonder why they can’t find the power. Because the power only ties to the message of the Cross, and the message of the Cross only exist to deal with one thing….sin. Many people try and change words by using my problems, my issues, my mistakes, my solutions…Jesus didn’t die for any of that. And there is no power because Jesus will not address that. He will only address sin! When we try fixing problems by bypassing the Cross you will in up looking like a fool (humantalk). The world thinks it can out think God. You void the Cross every time when you bring in human wisdom. Whenever you bring in the worlds view point you void out the Cross. Whenever God thoughts contradicts man’s thoughts, and you choose man’s thoughts over God thoughts, you cancel out the Cross. And when you void out the Cross you cancel out the power of God. Because the power of God is in the Cross which means you must be willing to deal with the sin. God is in the business of making the world look foolish because of their debates vs. addressing sin. Many times when God wants to express His power is usually through a means that may look foolish. God has worked this thing so only He will get the credit. The message of the Cross is the work of Jesus Christ in satisfying the issue of sin.

1. You must identify the problem what ever it is.
2. Then you identify the sin that is related to that problem; it could be your sin or someone else's sin opposed upon you.
3. Then address the sin God way that activates the Cross. Because you have done that you have activated the power of God. This is how God works it!

 

[AirDancer]

Matthew, my prayers are with you & your family during these troubling times. Please, stay focused in your reading & studying of your Bible, and keep your focus on our Lord.

 

[Edward]

My Wife left me, so take this as you will. FWIW, what I have learned, is that if you truely love her, have or seeking the mind of Christ (Him first!), that God is love, and love is without a doubt, unconditional. You love her no matter what. You do not have the (scriptural) right to become offended towards one that you love. This is a time wherein she absolutely is in need of your loving support and understanding, and example. She needs you brother! Don't get defensive, love her. If she is dissatisfied and/or argumentative then she has lost perspective or understanding (?) and you must be there for her as the Spiritual leader of your home and marriage.

 

[iLOVE]

The scripture says it like this; For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in heavenly places. Ephesians 6:12 NKJV

James 3:15 says we have three enemies; "The Spirit Of The World", "Our Flesh", and "Demonic Forces" as you see above in Ephesians 6:12.

As you see the enemy wants to destroy us. Jesus tells us in Matthew 6, "Do not worry about your life". So when any Christian has fear or worry in their life he says, "O you little faith". The reason why this is happening is because you have a breech in security. As I said before to others, "if the hedge is up the serpent can't strike" - Ecclesiastes 10:8. Repair the breech with prayer and making God FIRST!

 

[iLOVE]

 

[Kathi]

Always need to keep that armour on

 

[farouk]

.... FWIW, what I have learned, is that if you truely love her, have or seeking the mind of Christ (Him first!), that God is love, and love is without a doubt, unconditional. You love her no matter what. You do not have the (scriptural) right to become offended towards one that you love. ....

Edward: Exactly!

Blessings.

 

[Edward]

Edward: Exactly!

Blessings.

TY farouk. Here is where I learned that perspective, but this man explains it so much better than I. I'm just scratching the surface of this stuff. I still have to think how to respond in love, but I need to be able to just be the response, without thought...to, become love. We are not here to be loved, we have been loved, by Christ! We are here to become love. This is so good!

This is for you, Matthew. (Matthew means "Gift from YAHWEH") That's cool.

 

[gr8grace3]

My Wife left me, so take this as you will. FWIW, what I have learned, is that if you truely love her, have or seeking the mind of Christ (Him first!), that God is love, and love is without a doubt, unconditional. You love her no matter what. You do not have the (scriptural) right to become offended towards one that you love. This is a time wherein she absolutely is in need of your loving support and understanding, and example. She needs you brother! Don't get defensive, love her. If she is dissatisfied and/or argumentative then she has lost perspective or understanding (?) and you must be there for her as the Spiritual leader of your home and marriage.

That is some sound biblical advice Edward. When we see that we are to love(unconditional) in marriage rather than receive love, we are on the Path to a great marriage.

 

[Edward]

TY Brother. Pastor Dan in the video speaks of Husband Wife issues quite at length, so there's a lot of good advice in there. I just rewatched it again and notice that the man does not refer to notes at all. He preaches from the heart. It just flows out of him! Because he lives it, walks it...He's impressive. Praise God.

 

[Kathi]

That is some sound biblical advice Edward. When we see that we are to love(unconditional) in marriage rather than receive love, we are on the Path to a great marriage.

That definately is good advice....

 

[Matthew77ask]

Folks, thanks for all the support.

Right now - the situation is getting worst.
She will not talk to me at all - and if she sees me - she will scold me.
It may sound strange but words that comes out from her hurts like a knife.
"STUPID IDIOT ! GET LOST !

I stayed away as much as possible. Since I teach in school, I can leave home very early in the morning. After school I gave tuition to earn extra income to supplement. I do not earn a lot - but ALL expenses of the home and the kids comes from me. She is earning 3x more than me. but do not pay anything.

I now sleep outside in the hall - and she kept wanting to throw my mattress and pillow away.
I felt sad - where is my wife ? The women that once will share the life together with me?

Now - she gets herself involved in FengShui
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feng_shui
we had a BIG fight about it - to me this is NOT Biblical
but she gets more engrossed in it...

So.. I gave up to the Lord to handle it... what more can I do ?

 

[Edward]

Just keep giving this situation to God with alot of prayer.You have to look at the whole picture.It does not sound like she is well.It sounds like you are being abused.You could file for a separation.

Well, it's one or the other sister. Not both. If you give the situation to God (Good advice btw.) then be patient, have faith and remain in prayer about it. If you do this, then there is no filing for separation, for that would be pursuing it by your own, or mans way, taking God out of the equation, and perhaps a demonstrated lack of faith in God to be able to deal with the situation.