journeyofovercoming
Member
Just wanted to share my journey. Let's first say that I was raised in a devout Christian home. I was a good boy when I grew up (got good grades, didn't get in trouble etc) all the way through college. I even wanted to go into missions. However, in college I realized I wasn't into girls and had an attraction towards guys more than girls. After graduate school, I could no longer withhold my sexual temptations and started to act on them. Trouble in my job and lack of direction in my life facilitated my searching to fulfill my fantasy specifically for a relationship the ideal man. I experimented with Asian, Latin and white men, and realized I eventually overcame my temptations relating to Latin and Asian men but my desire to have a relationship with a white man who would met my physical expectations (as I will henceforth call, my "white man fantasy") didn't go away. So I thought that I could overcome this fantasy if I actually met a guy that would meet my expectations in my fantasy...just as I had met an Asian guy that fulfilled my fantasy and got over that. In hindsight, I'm quite convinced that this actually was the case and have now overcome my "white man fantasy". Unfortunately, I lapsed into a period of being inactive spiritually and my white man fantasy meant many nights of searching for that guy, with many rejections...and finally having an encounter (although of a sexual nature) with a guy very recently who I thought would fulfill my white man's fantasy and whom I never knew. However, after that, I felt no more urge to look for another white guy to fulfill my fantasy. I am confident to say that I'm really free of this shackle now. I thought to share my story of victory.
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