[__ Prayer __] forgive 70x7

[Christ_empowered]

I need help with this one. I'm not raging or whatever, but I'm having trouble completely, truly, genuinely forgiving people. It doesn't help that I still deal with the taunting, but...hey. That's life, at least for me, for right now.

Please help me pray that The Lord will provide what I need to forgive 70x7 (and beyond...). Thanks.

 

[reba]

You are most defiantly not alone

 

[Wrg1405]

Hi CE,

The following is something I sent to a group I was leading a few years ago.

Sorry it's a bit long but I hope it helps.


Tonight's command is about forgiveness.

Matthew 18:21-22
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
21 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

The Bible has plenty to say about forgiveness. Where the Old Testament focuses mainly on God's forgiveness of individuals or groups, the teachings of Jesus in the Gospels also address how human beings can and should forgive each other.

The word forgive in the bible can be translated as follows.

To send away
to send forth, yield up, to expire, to let go, let alone, let be, to disregard, give up a debt,
forgive, to remit to give up, keep no longer.

In certain contexts, forgiveness is a legal term for absolving or giving up all claims on account of debt, loan, obligation or other claims.

Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness.

What is forgiveness?

It is a conscious choice that we make. Whether the person who hurt us apologises or not.
It is a shift in thinking towards someone who has hurt you.
It is letting go of the need for revenge and ill will.
It is choosing to remember no more what has been done to you.
It is acknowledging the pain and hurt you feel and walk in.
It is giving it up to God allowing him the right to take care of justice, his perfect justice.

What forgiveness is not.

It is not reconciliation.
It does not mean you have to restore a relationship.
It is not waiting for an apology before forgiving.
It is not always having to tell someone that we have forgiven them.
It is not just merely forgetting.
Is is not condoning or excusing what has been done.
It's not allowing the offence to recur again and again.
It does not replace justice. If an act against you is criminal you are free to instigate legal justice.

Consequences of unforgiveness.

Unforgiveness is a chain that will wrap itself around you. It will pull tighter and tighter. It will sap the very life out of you. It will make you miserable, angry, resentful. It will affect you health, cause anxiety, which leads to high blood pressure, release chemicals in your body that further increases anxiety, depression along with with physical symptoms of heart palpitations, breathing problems, tingling in your fingers and feet, not being able to sleep, not being able to function. These physical symptoms bring fear that further compound the physical and emotional symptoms.

MORE IMPORTANTLY IT AFFECTS YOUR RELATIONSHIPS, with other people that we have no need to forgive. We can withdraw or guard against friendships, be grumpy, irritable, mistrust and so on.

If it affects our relationships with other people you can guarantee it will affect our relationship with God.

The fact is, in the eyes of God unforgiveness is a sin. It can hinder our prayers, it will hinder our spiritual growth and it will hinder our witness.

Consequences of forgiveness.

First of all it helps with all the health issues mentioned above.
We see relationships with those around us in a different light.
We may see relationships restored.

The above are tangible benefits.

When we repent (make a conscious decision to forgive) of unforgiveness then we feel better about our relationship with God, we feel closer to God, we find it easier to come before him, speak to him, spend time him.


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Forgiveness is a one time event (what I mean is that at some point you choose to give it up) yet dealing with the consequences can be a process.

When we acknowledge the hurt and pain and any other negative emotion, the act of merely forgiving does not necessarily heal the negative aspects that we suffer.

This is where we are to bring it before God and ask him to heal us. These chains God wants to break, to heal, restore to you an inner peace, replace anger with love.

If we have allowed chains to wrap themselves around us they start to loosen when we allow God to work. When our chains are gone then we have FREEDOM.

This is the ultimate consequence and priceless benefit of forgiveness. Forgiveness is not just about better health and life satisfaction. It’s not just an aid for reducing stress and fighting depression. It is about becoming by grace what God is by nature: a person who loves, a person who forgives, a person who cares for the salvation of the entire world, one soul at a time.


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Theologian Lewis Smedes writes, "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. (Martin Luther King, Jr)

Never forget the three powerful resources you always have available to you: love, prayer, and forgiveness. (H. Jackson Brown, Jr.)

When you forgive, you in no way change the past - but you sure do change the future. (Bernard Meltzer)

To err is human; to forgive, divine. (Alexander Pope)

Footnote:

Secular psychology in the 1980's started to incorporate the principle of forgiveness into counselling. Even in the secular world there is a realisation that forgiveness plays a major part in the lives of those they counsel. So a biblical principle is slowly working its way into the non religious world around us.

They do however focus on the aspect of letting go, it's health benefits and coping mechanisms for anger etc. There are even documented steps to forgiveness programs that they follow.

Where they stop though is the fact then we have a Father who wants to heal pain an hurt. Our Father does not want to give us coping mechanisms he wants to dig it right out of us and replace it pure unadulterated love.

When I have talked to non Christians who struggle with hurt and pain I talk about forgiveness in the secular sense but then say, "Why cope with it when God wants to heal it?

The majority accept the concept of forgiveness but not God healing it (that comes down to faith)
Nevertheless revealing the need to forgive in the first place is the right thing to do.

 

[Kidron]

Say the words....."I forgive you", and list the things you are forgiving them for doing.
Try not to retaliate.
You're not going to forget what they've done, so, dont worry about that part.
See the devil's game with forgiveness, is that he will keep you in condemnation because you will feel that unless all your scared feelings
leave when you forgive, then you really haven't.
However, God did not tell you not to feel.....but rather he told you to forgive.
Salvation is not a feeling, its a fact.
Forgiveness is not a feeling, its a deed.
To forgive is to understand that you should, and then you confess the words and you move on.
You let it go.
To forget or to try to forget what they've done, is not going to happen and it could be that to forget would allow them to hurt you again.

The other side of the forgiveness coin.....is to ask yourself....."did i do anything to cause what they did".
Occasionally that is the case.

Lastly, always remember that people are flawed, and you cant expect them to behave perfectly.
This does not give them the right or the excuse to behave badly, but this fact gives you the wisdom to lead you to expect that even the best of them can sometimes be the worst of them.

 

[Wrg1405]

Hebrews 8:12
For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their lawless deeds I will remember no more.”

Isaiah 43:25
“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake;
And I will not remember your sins.

To me God doesn't forget our sins but he chooses to remember them no more, to blot them out.

Ok we don't have the capacity to be like God 100% but as we strive to be like God our % increases.

 

[Wrg1405]

Also at times we don't have the capacity to forgive for what ever reason.
I would say in such situations we can come before God and say "I can't forgive or will not forgive but I know I need to, please help me"

 

[Jethro Bodine]

I have found that the joy of the Spirit is more valuable than the burden of an unforgiving spirit.
I pray that God give you a profound baptism of his holy love. It will be worth more to you than holding grudges against people who do not treat you nice. It's truly a supernatural miracle to actually care about people who don't treat you well because you are overwhelmed with God's love and presence and abundance and life.

 

[daninthelionsden]

I need help with this one. I'm not raging or whatever, but I'm having trouble completely, truly, genuinely forgiving people. It doesn't help that I still deal with the taunting, but...hey. That's life, at least for me, for right now.

Please help me pray that The Lord will provide what I need to forgive 70x7 (and beyond...). Thanks.

Its hard enough to forgive those who hurt us in the past but much, much harder to forgive those who are presently hurting us and even harder to forgive them when they let you know they have no intention of stopping. Few have to endure that. But endure one must sometimes until released of that situation. Moving far and away may be the only way to make it stop.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Its hard enough to forgive those who hurt us in the past but much, much harder to forgive those who are presently hurting us and even harder to forgive them when they let you know they have no intention of stopping. Few have to endure that. But endure one must sometimes until released of that situation. Moving far and away may be the only way to make it stop.

Hey man. Thanks, as always, for your prayers+responses. My concern is that I have 0 resources of my own right now, except for the $$$ I get thru disability. That --and-- the shrinks deliberately drove my parents and me apart, above and beyond what I'd done to them and the tension we'd had going for years before. A big part of The Lord's work in my life has been to make us a family again, and they're also kind enough and have $$$ enough to keep me safe, free, comfortable, etc.

--sigh-- There's also the very real problem of psych records that seem to follow me wherever I go ( "don't p!ss your shrinks off!"). I dunno. Involuntary "treatment," including (but certainly not limited to...) hospitalization, can always be a concern for any "mental patient," but its more of an issue in some states than in others. Here, the letter of the law makes it hard to commit people...but the way it actually plays out, low status people are "kept in line" thru hospitals, involuntary treatment, labels, etc. on a regular basis. I'm blessed because: I'm white, male, and I have my upper-middle/"genteel" parents behind me, so in this situation...I get to stay free and safe, or have so far, Praise God (!!!!!!!!!!!).

But I probably will need to move, eventually. But...where? To do what, exactly? I'm not "too good" for a group home, but that's usually a 1-way ticket to life outside of society, as a "mental patient," etc. Having said that, I had an acquaintance who runs one in another state...

I just don't know, honestly. When I lived in a small-ish, southern town in a nearby state, it was rough, too. And when I lived in a more urban area in this state, it was horrible. And living here gets rough, although my parents make it do-able.

--sigh-- I have no idea, honestly. I want to be there/here for my parents when they get older, but...if they stay here for much longer, I'll still need them much, much more than they'll ever need me. There's also the issue of a j-o-b. If I were to work around here, my life would be hell. Trust me on that one...its happened before. And if I somehow got a more stable, better-paying job than what people think I'm "good enough" for...I'd probably find myself fired.

I just don't know. Its a rough, cold world out there. Moving sounds great, and might actually be the only real, genuinely viable option I have for a normal(ish) life, but...there's lots going on here, I guess is what I'm saying.

Thanks, again, for your thoughts+prayers.

 

[daninthelionsden]

Hey man. Thanks, as always, for your prayers+responses. My concern is that I have 0 resources of my own right now, except for the $$$ I get thru disability. That --and-- the shrinks deliberately drove my parents and me apart, above and beyond what I'd done to them and the tension we'd had going for years before. A big part of The Lord's work in my life has been to make us a family again, and they're also kind enough and have $$$ enough to keep me safe, free, comfortable, etc.

--sigh-- There's also the very real problem of psych records that seem to follow me wherever I go ( "don't p!ss your shrinks off!"). I dunno. Involuntary "treatment," including (but certainly not limited to...) hospitalization, can always be a concern for any "mental patient," but its more of an issue in some states than in others. Here, the letter of the law makes it hard to commit people...but the way it actually plays out, low status people are "kept in line" thru hospitals, involuntary treatment, labels, etc. on a regular basis. I'm blessed because: I'm white, male, and I have my upper-middle/"genteel" parents behind me, so in this situation...I get to stay free and safe, or have so far, Praise God (!!!!!!!!!!!).

But I probably will need to move, eventually. But...where? To do what, exactly? I'm not "too good" for a group home, but that's usually a 1-way ticket to life outside of society, as a "mental patient," etc. Having said that, I had an acquaintance who runs one in another state...

I just don't know, honestly. When I lived in a small-ish, southern town in a nearby state, it was rough, too. And when I lived in a more urban area in this state, it was horrible. And living here gets rough, although my parents make it do-able.

--sigh-- I have no idea, honestly. I want to be there/here for my parents when they get older, but...if they stay here for much longer, I'll still need them much, much more than they'll ever need me. There's also the issue of a j-o-b. If I were to work around here, my life would be hell. Trust me on that one...its happened before. And if I somehow got a more stable, better-paying job than what people think I'm "good enough" for...I'd probably find myself fired.

I just don't know. Its a rough, cold world out there. Moving sounds great, and might actually be the only real, genuinely viable option I have for a normal(ish) life, but...there's lots going on here, I guess is what I'm saying.

Thanks, again, for your thoughts+prayers.

Yeah I thought right after I posted that I should maybe have clarified that I knew in your particular circumstance that you were better off staying right where you are and not try and move out until you are sure that's what the Lord wants you to do. Only you will know if and when that time is.
I believe you being was a prime reason you were suffering the harassment but I also believe most if not all us psych/emo folks on disability are prime subjects for harassment by government informants. After all, its just so easy to say we're just suffering paranoid delusions.....correct? These agitators risk little......that is unless they're exposed. You might want to consider making a Youtube video generally outlining what you are being subjected to. You don't have to say your full name nor do you have to specifically name anyone. Believe me when I did it ..it backed them off significantly.