[__ Prayer __] Frustrated

[Christ_empowered]

Most of my bowls are missing. They weren’t fancy but they were…mine…and I suspect they were taken from my place just as some other small objects have gone missing. I have a SimpliSafe but…

Oddly enough it works better when I’m not home. I think it’s the home setting that lets some of this nonsense slide . Oh well.

People are openly saying that my family cannot help me I have to go to a group home I should be in the state hospital etc…

Keep in mind that I’m now normal to the point of being boring lol no drugs or alcohol no general craziness lol

Ugh I guess that’s how fallen the world is? I’m healthy and normal by God’s grace so…

Someone apparently needs to do something about me? Ugh I’m trying to focus on Jesus Christ and not the junk said about me around me by people I don’t know ….

It’s frustrating. But going to the Bible where it says that which has befallen us is common to mankind…

Not unheard of. A distant cousin…she had schizophrenia and her parents were quite wealthy so she had ample support and resources…

Her shrink had her put in the state hospital probably because she was doing better more independent and had access to resources. Lawsuits ensued…very dramatic…

Point is it’s the world I live in. Thankfully there’s not much of a state hospital left lol they don’t even use the local hospital these days unless someone is truly out there…

Rambling. I’m free and safe and normal and above all else…

Forgiven. Washed and made clean . The junk around me is noise from people who may very well just be miserable in general. I dunno

But it’s frustrating…

That’s the thing lol

 

[Marianne333]

Most of my bowls are missing. They weren’t fancy but they were…mine…and I suspect they were taken from my place just as some other small objects have gone missing. I have a SimpliSafe but…

Oddly enough it works better when I’m not home. I think it’s the home setting that lets some of this nonsense slide . Oh well.

People are openly saying that my family cannot help me I have to go to a group home I should be in the state hospital etc…

Keep in mind that I’m now normal to the point of being boring lol no drugs or alcohol no general craziness lol

Ugh I guess that’s how fallen the world is? I’m healthy and normal by God’s grace so…

Someone apparently needs to do something about me? Ugh I’m trying to focus on Jesus Christ and not the junk said about me around me by people I don’t know ….

It’s frustrating. But going to the Bible where it says that which has befallen us is common to mankind…

Not unheard of. A distant cousin…she had schizophrenia and her parents were quite wealthy so she had ample support and resources…

Her shrink had her put in the state hospital probably because she was doing better more independent and had access to resources. Lawsuits ensued…very dramatic…

Point is it’s the world I live in. Thankfully there’s not much of a state hospital left lol they don’t even use the local hospital these days unless someone is truly out there…

Rambling. I’m free and safe and normal and above all else…

Forgiven. Washed and made clean . The junk around me is noise from people who may very well just be miserable in general. I dunno

But it’s frustrating…

That’s the thing lol

" Forgiven. Washed and made clean . The junk around me is noise from people who may very well just be miserable in general. I dunno " - Golden words. You have the right attitude. Hang in there, praying

 

[CherubRam]

Chaos is a dominate factor and order is rare.

 

[Christ_empowered]

1 Corinthians 14:33

 

[Christ_empowered]

Plus side…

Replacement bowls weren’t expensive. The new ones seem to be sturdier than the old ones. Life goes on…

 

[Christ_empowered]

Ugh neighbors…

I was trying to get out of my car. He pulled out of his space right next to mine super quickly. Minor annoyance…especially since he may have been rude but maybe I should have just waited? And…real world yet again…

Happens.

 

[Christ_empowered]

God is Good .

My life is good too thanks to Jesus Christ. I breeze into my parents house almost everyday perfectly welcome . Even their puppies love me.

I do want a social life but then I realize: loneliness is the new normal in USA. It’s gotten worse since the pandemic apparently. And…

Loneliness can be part of growing in Christ. Old friends are sometimes pruned. I lost nearly all my so called friends upon conversion. Not terribly dramatic or anything but unexpected. Then as my quality of life improved and my so called symptoms improved in many ways and changed in others…

Loss of people is met and befriended while down and out. Truth? Gods work in my life is sometimes bittersweet. Maybe that’s the case for most believers? I dunno

Now I have a good solid relationship with my long suffering parents and a long term friend who calls me on a semi regular basis. I had coffee ️ with her and her long term boyfriend not too long ago. They’re unbelievers but I think she sees Jesus Christ at work in my life even if she can’t articulate what she’s seeing. Moving on..,

A man who works at the complex taunts me sometimes. I dunno it’s harmless but I get it you know? No respect happens…

Rambling…

 

[Christ_empowered]

It is frustrating…

When I see that my life pre conversion was a lie. But then again every believers real life begins in Christ. So it’s sort of actually all the more reason to be thankful . I’m hounded with junk from my past daily and I’ve not been handling that appropriately so..yeah.

I keep being taunted about cancer. As in he’s crazy if he thinks Jesus healed his cancer. And hiv. Not a good thing untreated hiv. But I’m healthy with no treatment for cancer or hiv so..? And I don’t talk to anyone about it which I think is generally the best course of action for me but crazy making at times. As in…

Schizophrenia. What is it? If I’m now physically healthy and not damaged by psychiatric treatment like before and my so called symptoms are better then couldn’t the whole thing have been cancer and or hiv plus brain damage from psychiatry? But that’s not how the world works.

Maybe I’ll be given a less stigmatizing label but I’ll probably always be labeled. And maybe my severe physical illnesses were the real problem but no one would offer real treatment then and the experts don’t want to deal with it now so…?

Play the hand you’re dealt. Good advice

But frustrating when people openly yell about having my vehicle repossessed and having me move out of my home and…

Ugh I’m dealing with it better in Christ I just…can’t burden my parents with it the counselor is a Christian but I sometimes think mental health is his real religion and my long term friend recommends a bit more tranquilizer. No one to talk to about my actual day to day life and it’s frustrating at times.

 

[citrus]

I know how people that are labeled get pushed around. It is even harder when you feel you have noone to be an understanding friend sometimes because of lables people put in eachother. There are people out there that care. Others weren't real friends and have no foundation in their lives. Yiur better off without jerks like that. My dad said when you get older you will only have like 5 true friends. They are the keepers. Sometimes I only have one. It's okay. It isn't what happens to you it is what happens in you. Keep persevering. A lot of people feel this way. Like I said another post, life doesn't get easier you get stronger. When the tough gets going we get stronger. God sparred you from friends who were really your enemy and protected you from them. You don't need their drama.

 

[citrus]

I'm sorry about your bowls. I hope that gets straightend out for you

 

[Christ_empowered]

Thanks

I got new ones that seem sturdy easy to clean etc. no fuss lol

 

[ari.sketch]

just wanted to touch base and see how you're doing, how are things with you?

 

[Christ_empowered]

Good overall. One problem is that my treatment providers went crazy making an example out of me. God spared me spared my parents….

But the stigma and labels are intense.

 

[citrus]

They say it isn't what happens to you, it is what happens in you. God loves you and understands.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Thanks

Had a brief and mostly positive reality check today. Had to get a tire fixed and waited…and waited…and…

That’s normal day to day life. I know it’s a total captain obvious moment but seriously …

My life has changed so much in Christ and I’ve been changed do much in Christ…

Most of the time it’s humdrum prosaic stuff and it should be life ideally should not be never ending drama and such. And…

At nearly 40 years old I’m blessed beyond measure not that I’m trying to compete of course. One huge ongoing blessing? Dealing with reality and limitations of my life and figuring out how to have a better life within certain parameters. It’s a blessing and also a challenge because unlike being made surprisingly healthy and of sound mind etc…

This one requires effort from me too.

 

[Christ_empowered]

Oh and another sad observation…

If it wasn’t for my parents I’d be stuck being what people think of when they think of so called mental patients. It’s all the world has for a lot of people. Often a complicated situation of course but…

Ugh counting my blessings…

 

[ari.sketch]

we can't control what people say or think about us, but good to see you're doing alright

we overcome the enemy by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of our testimony, and loved not our lives unto death (Revelations 12:11)

I've been getting into the word of God and finding what God says about me and proclaiming that over my life every day, learning to submit and surrender everything to God as well ... not easy at times, but God is worth it

 

[Christ_empowered]

I’m getting more into scripture. My big big big overriding issue is this bizarre oppression that surrounds me. Waxes and wanes which is odd since I keep a low profile and generally don’t have much of a social life lol

I’m starting to wonder if just seeing the contempt that’s been there for a long time. I get taunted in ways that I think are somewhat common when one has psych labels and such. So…

I’m a social non entity who thankfully lives a modest decent lifestyle. Maybe that’s it? God wills that I live here and have some things and the pushback is intense?