Funny Atheist Quotes

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Quath

Member
May 7, 2003
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California, USA
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Lighter side of atheism:

God is real, unless declared integer.

GIGO - Garbage In -- Gospel Out

You Go Yahweh - and I'll go Mine!

"If Atheism is a religion, then health is a disease!"
[Clark Adams]

"To YOU I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
[Woody Allen]

"Adam blamed Eve, Eve blamed the serpent and the serpent didn't have a leg to stand on."

"In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukka" and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say "Merry Christmas!" or "Happy Hanukka!" or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"
[Dave Barry, "Christmas Shopping: A Survivor's Guide"]

Pray: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
[Ambrose Bierce]

"It's hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning."
[Calvin, "Calvin and Hobes" strip by Bill Waterson]

"Where would Christianity be if Jesus got eight to fifteen years with time off for good behavior?"
[NY State Senator James Donovan, speaking in support of capital punishment]

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
[Henny Youngman]

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"

Quath
 
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, "Yes, but is it the God the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?"

LOL... very good


.
 
What do you get when you cross an atheist with a Jehovahs Witness?


Someone who knocks at your door for no apparent reason.
 
On of my favs....

"In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation
Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid."

-Dave Barry
 
What do you get when you cross a dyslexic agnostic with an insomniac?

Someone who lies awake at night wondering whether there is a dog!

:roll: