God has someone for you, right?

[Kefka]

I've heard many teachings that say God has a wife/husband for you somewhere. He knows who they are, you don't necessarily. I'm just curious, is there anyone here who knew who God had for you? I don't mean after dating, and I don't mean "love at first sight," I mean... did God ever speak it to you? Truly speak it to you, perhaps with a vision? If so, post here... fulfill my curiousity.

 

[Scott]

I believe that God knows if I will marry and who my wife will be but I can't go so far as to say He has someone for me. I think that comes too close to saying God is a master of puppets (so to speak). I believe He allows things and He disallows things. My decision to pursue marriage is my own choice.

Now that being said, I did think once that I found the one God had for me. I was good friends with her and when I found that she felt more than friends for me too, I asked her parents permission to spend more time with her. I spent a lot of time with her and her family and in some ways came closer to them than I had my own family. After some time, things changed. Communication from her started to break down and cease. It got so hard to get her to talk about her feelings and what direction our relationship was going. To make a long story short, it didn't work out. Despite that her family wanted me to still spend time with them because they liked me so much. I was torn because I cared a lot about her and her family but it hurt so much to see them. So I did the only thing I could do, I avoided them.

I had a broken heart and a lot of anger at God because it seemed as though He led me into that situation of heartbreak for no reason. Looking back I still have so many unanswered questions and the only thing that helped me is just to let it all go and make it a point to forget. Scars fade over time.

So I've drawn the conclusion that if I pursue marriage its because I desire to. God has given me the ability to make good choices and I'll try to do just that. But He does not control people. We all make our own decisions in the end. I have gotten away from the "genie in a bottle" idea of God. Otherwise it becomes too easy to blame God when things go wrong in our lives. I give Him thanks for the blessings in my life. I know though that when relationships don't work we can't blame Him because He doesn't control people.

 

[Kefka]

I see what you're saying, but when I say "has someone for us," I mean that if we are indeed going to marry... he knows who it will be. And blaming God is wrong, he gave us free will... the opporunity to make mistakes and learn from them. I personally am not dating currently, and have no idea who I'd marry in the future. But wouldn't it be cool to get a solid confirmation from God on something so life altering?

Wouldn't it be great to look at someone, and know without a doubt that you would spend the rest of your life with them? Not because it's "love at first sight," but because it will develop into a love blessed by God himself. Believe it or not, I don't actually think about this alot... but after hearing yet another preacher talk about it... it seemed an interesting topic to think about.

 

[starbyfar]

iiiii dont know if I believe God has a somebody for everybody. Of course marriage would seem like its right for everyone cus there are a lot of sexually frustrated people out there that really need someone lol. But sometimes if you look at it in a different light, marriage could be a hinderance to accomplishing the mission.. which is spreading the word to the ends of the earth. Marriage is wonderful, and I hope to be married someday, but I know there are things about me that need to be 'fixed' with my relationship towards Christ first.

But the way you hear people talk that are happily married, or have found that one someone, you would think that God pulled them together like magnets. I guess that'll be another great question to post on the FAQ board in heaven!

 

[Featherbop]

If God has picked a person for everyone, then the vast majority of people don't marry the one God picked.

 

[BATMAN]

I hope to be married someday, but I know there are things about me that need to be 'fixed' with my relationship towards Christ first.

Suppose God has someone for you to help you "fix" it. Or to be that balance we all need so to speak.

I understand putting God first, but trying to have a "perfect" relationship set before finding someone could mean being alone a loooong time - we should continually be striving to better our relationship with Christ.

 

[leesw]

I believe that God knows if I will marry and who my wife will be but I can't go so far as to say He has someone for me. I think that comes too close to saying God is a master of puppets (so to speak). I believe He allows things and He disallows things. My decision to pursue marriage is my own choice.

Now that being said, I did think once that I found the one God had for me. I was good friends with her and when I found that she felt more than friends for me too, I asked her parents permission to spend more time with her. I spent a lot of time with her and her family and in some ways came closer to them than I had my own family. After some time, things changed. Communication from her started to break down and cease. It got so hard to get her to talk about her feelings and what direction our relationship was going. To make a long story short, it didn't work out. Despite that her family wanted me to still spend time with them because they liked me so much. I was torn because I cared a lot about her and her family but it hurt so much to see them. So I did the only thing I could do, I avoided them.

I had a broken heart and a lot of anger at God because it seemed as though He led me into that situation of heartbreak for no reason. Looking back I still have so many unanswered questions and the only thing that helped me is just to let it all go and make it a point to forget. Scars fade over time.

So I've drawn the conclusion that if I pursue marriage its because I desire to. God has given me the ability to make good choices and I'll try to do just that. But He does not control people. We all make our own decisions in the end. I have gotten away from the "genie in a bottle" idea of God. Otherwise it becomes too easy to blame God when things go wrong in our lives. I give Him thanks for the blessings in my life. I know though that when relationships don't work we can't blame Him because He doesn't control people.

Good post! I agree--we make our own decisions. God made the human species to be diverse enough so that we don't have to be at the perfect spot at the perfect time to meet the perfect person. I think there are many people with whom we can be compatible. It's about commitment to God and your spouse, not about some mystical soul mate.

 

[Roikirk]

I know this is a little late as no one has posted here in about a year. I would hope that God has someone for each of us, but will we recognize that person when we see them? One sad but undeniable possibility is that the special person for you may have been taken by the abortion holocaust or some other tradegy. : We may have to accept someone else and then try to make it work.

 

[Blazin Bones]

I know this is a little late as no one has posted here in about a year. I would hope that God has someone for each of us, but will we recognize that person when we see them? One sad but undeniable possibility is that the special person for you may have been taken by the abortion holocaust or some other tradegy. : We may have to accept someone else and then try to make it work.

Q: Will we recognize that person when we see them?

My A:I've often thought I could, but through 22 and 1/2 years of life, two failed high school relationships, and multiple crushes that have taken their toll, I'd have to say no.

I've looked long and hard for God's "Perfect person" and prayer just as hard if not harder, and yet those applications for college loans still get a singles box checked.

Ofcourse, many would say no we won't, like i am now, but God has done more miraculous things before.

Abortion Notion: If you'll read some of my old posts, you'll see I was VERY VERY VERY committed to the idea that God has one person waiting for me, and that He'll show her to me in His time. I still believe God has a perfect person out there at some point in time. I see your point about another overlooked consequence of abortions, but I think God has things under his controll. I may not have the passion I once did for that Special someone, but I still be lieve that God is preparing someone spectacular for me, and He's not going to let the sinful choices of Man ruin his plan.

Sin has done some pretty horrible things which should have long since destroyed the world, but God has time and time again turned evil into Good for those who love him, just as Romans 8:23 says.I just don't see God allowing the tragedy of abortions stop him from making special couples dedicated to His service. Pefect couples? No, bui that's due to sin in general, not just abortions.

 

[queenjaz]

I've recently had to ponder similar questions..

This is what God has spoken to me about this..

He brought the story of Moses to mind and how even though Moses made mistakes and was disobediant at times, it still didnt get in the way of Gods ULTIMATE plan, and that was to bring His people out of Egypt and out of slavery.

How does this relate? Well, though I dont believe in one perfect person..for starters no one is perfect and in a fallen world things happen, people die and God may feel its best for that person to remarry. Therefore, there is another person out there who maybe has gone through a similar experience. You just dont know. There is no textbook answer to this question. Its an answer you have to seek God on and trust His revelation to you.

But what I do know is this, if you remain open to God, continue to be obediant to His voice, you will be with whoever God wants you to be with. As I said before with my Moses example, you may make mistakes along the way but if you ultimately trust in God and listen to His voice you will meet someone that is meant for you, you WILL fulfil His plan for your life.

Its hard to think otherwise...I mean..there are such amazing stories such as Elizabeth Elliot's story in "Passion and Purity" and other many amazing stories. Sometimes God reconciles lovers after a long period apart....there are plenty of true stories of how God has worked a miracle in getting two people together...

For instance, an old friend of mine told me the story of how he and his wife came together. He told me that at first he didnt have any romantic feelings towards her, but he felt God tell him that she was the woman he was to marry. He believed in faith that that was what God wanted and he told me that on his wedding day when he saw her at the altar, God had given him a deep love for her. Now they are happily married and in love.

Or, a pastors wife told me the story of how she met her new husband who is obviously a pastor. Apparently they met at a bible study and at first she thought he was kinda dweeby. At this point, she had only just become a Christian and he had been a Christian and gone to bible college, so he was quite established in his faith. He had heard God say to him "This is your future wife" and he was like "Are you kidding? I dont think so..". Now they are happily married and in ministry together!


I just think its unfair to say that at the end of the day it comes down to our own will. Because if its IN Gods plan that you be with someone...its gonna happen! God is still ultimately in control.

 

[Silversmok3]

I think a change of perspective is needed with this topic-for one,God's will comes first-including being ahead of our desires for a mate,thankfully.

I say thankfully because I've been in situations where I checked my faith at the door for a woman's affections,and God brought me out of that experience with the lesson that we best serve God sometimes as singles,even if we don't like it sometimes.

Love is a gift,and I for one am grateful that God's mercy not only spared me a deserved trip to Hell via Jesus' sacrifice ,but allowed me to experience a taste of true love,however brief the relationship.Some people live and die without knowing what that feels like.

Instead of looking at the sunset pining for a relationship that isint in your power to create,be grateful for the good times in your past relationships,and be patient in your faith.The world teaches that you're responsible for finding your soulmate,and its this incorrect philosophy that has caused so much heartbreak.As the ways of God are opposite the ways of the world,instead of 'looking' for love,let love find you.
Yes,there's a possibilty you may not have a mate for the highs and lows of life,but the pain of waiting is preferable to the consequences of a rushed choice.

Using myself as an example,many girls my age (21) don't understand the meaning of 'living for God'.Some don't want to understand what that means,and it really bites when I *have* to distance myself from them when they want to be more than friends with me,because their motives and mine stand in opposite directions.
But the sacrifice pays off in what matters-faith before God,and that brings me solace in an otherwise harsh dating environment.Even *Christian* girls fall to the world's subtle tenets,a lesson I leared as David did-the hard way.
I know that was a read,and trust me I didn't plan to type this much when I started lol,but I believe that God wants you to know that He understands and is with you,when no one can be with you-not even your future spouse.
-Silversmok3