God punishes me daily...it seems

[Orion]

For the past two years, God has punishes me a lot, it seems. I was involved in a good marriage. We always got along, never fought, had all sorts of things in common, did things together all the time, . . . yet she divorced me because she wanted something else. I had prayed and PRAYED that God would save the marriage. He was unable to do so. I spent the past couple of years recovering from that, . . . never fully understanding why it happened, . . .

Fast forward to about two months ago. I got involved with someone I had liked for a while. Things were going very well, . . . .TOO well, in fact. I allowed myself to fall to the sin of premarital relationtions with her, . . . with her being the initiator, but me being weak and giving in. This happened on several occasions, . . . but a little over two weeks ago, she broke up with me.

I felt that she was going to be one who would "be the person that God had better for me", . . . and I was thankful. . . . but now I feel like I was "played with", . . . . . . . if God orders our steps, that is. . . . . . and now am feeling the remorse of my sin, and the pain of the loss of someone I was beginning to care about a lot.

I believe that I am being punished by God because I am unable to understand and walk the "common christian path" that I've been told that I need to do [now], . . . getting closer to God and making HIM first in my life. Because I have been unable to FULLY comprehend what that means, I feel that God's blessing has never been on my life, but just his punishment for being a sinner. I don't feel forgiven, when I ask. I don't feel comfort, when I ask. I don't feel any presence, when I seek. All I feel is waves and waves of condemnation, grief, and judgement. Yes, I fell to sin, . . . I'm human. But all my life has been this way. Being dangled "good things" in front of me, then them being yanked away. Even my best friend in the whole world is moving away soon. . . . .

So can someone tell me why I am cursed this way?

 

[Cornelius]

I have been there too brother and it was because I believed the wrong gospel. I also wanted to feel God's forgiveness and feel God's presence , but you know what, that is not the way God works. He never told us to go by feeling, but by faith . You have fallen , and if you have repented and confessed this, then I must tell you , you are forgiven. 1Jn 1:9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Condemnation comes when you do not believe the Word. There is a place for condemnation though, it is when you willingly want to carry on sinning. If you are making excuses for your sin. But if not...........then condemnation have no right in your life.Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them that are in Christ Jesus. Are you in Christ? Are you walking in the Word and not in WILLING disobedience?
Falling is one thing, but rebellion must be repented of, or judgment will follow.

You have to read the Bible with faith or it will not work.Heb 4:2 For indeed we have had good tidings preached unto us, even as also they: but the word of hearing did not profit them, because it was not united by faith with them that heard. Believe what you read !

God is sovereign, even in your situation and the Word says :Rom 8:28 And we know that to them that love God all things work together for good, even to them that are called according to his purpose. Do you believe that ?

If you really want to understand this, then read this book and get the real gospel into your heart. Its for free and if you email them, they will even send you a free hardcopy .

http://www.unleavenedbreadministries.org/?page=e-book

blessings
Cornelius

 

[Cornelius]

I believe that I am being punished by God because I am unable to understand and walk the "common christian path" that I've been told that I need to do [now], . . . getting closer to God and making HIM first in my life. Because I have been unable to FULLY comprehend what that means, I feel that God's blessing has never been on my life, but just his punishment for being a sinner.

Further...... The "common Christian path" is the one to avoid. Your inability to understand this, is because it is nonsense. You cannot "get closer to God", because how much closer to "Christ IN YOU" can you get ? That is just pure religious nonsense and do not bother to try and understand it.

Jesus came and took your curse upon Himself. That is a Biblical fact brother. Nothing you can do about, it has been done already. Its gone. The only thing that will really change your life is the Word of God. Jesus IS that Word and if you believe that, it will change everything. By putting the Word into you daily, and mixing it with faith, will result in the desired result.

C

 

[Nick]

God works in ways we do not always understand. He is bigger than us. Suffering, in the big picture is not always a bad thing, and God can use suffering to bring you closer to Him.

Read this topic: viewtopic.php?f=10&t=37302

 

[JoJo]

God works in ways we do not always understand. He is bigger than us. Suffering, in the big picture is not always a bad thing, and God can use suffering to bring you closer to Him.

Wisdom in youth!

 

[shad]

Hi Orion,

When you understand "love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength and mind" you are taking first step to get to know God and Jesus. Commitment is the key to have a good relationship with Jesus. If your life is Christ-centered, your value system will be changed and your life will be changed. How do we commit ourselves to Jesus? By reading and studying Bible and put into practice everything you are learning. We have to change our lives according to Jesus' teachings. Then you will never disappointed no matter what this world bring to us. We will learn to be satisfied no matter what kind of situation we are in. Christianity is a way of life, not just Bible knowledge.

 

[Orion]

I believe that I am being punished by God because I am unable to understand and walk the "common christian path" that I've been told that I need to do [now], . . . getting closer to God and making HIM first in my life. Because I have been unable to FULLY comprehend what that means, I feel that God's blessing has never been on my life, but just his punishment for being a sinner.

Further...... The "common Christian path" is the one to avoid. Your inability to understand this, is because it is nonsense. You cannot "get closer to God", because how much closer to "Christ IN YOU" can you get ? That is just pure religious nonsense and do not bother to try and understand it.

Jesus came and took your curse upon Himself. That is a Biblical fact brother. Nothing you can do about, it has been done already. Its gone. The only thing that will really change your life is the Word of God. Jesus IS that Word and if you believe that, it will change everything. By putting the Word into you daily, and mixing it with faith, will result in the desired result.

C

I have not heard this said before [what you said about "getting closer to God"]. It makes sense, though. I know that God gives each of us a measure of faith, and gives us what we are "called to do", . . . and I believe that I am doing that, being active in music ministry. But I'm not "Joe Super Christian", and do not behave like many/most of the other people I do music with [in which they are very active/excitable]. I usually see this as "being less of a Christian" because I don't have those same "jubilant outbursts", . . . nor do I pray fervantly, outloud [like the others] before the service starts.

As for "feeling that I'm punished", . . .I HAVE asked God to forgive my fall, . . . . .but I am completely torn up inside that I fell, allowed myself to fall [when I wasn't certain of her future plans], and now am plagued by the reprecussions of what I did, as my mind keeps bringing up the past. I know what was given, the verse about there "now no longer being condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus", . . . . but the weight of what I did to myself, allowing myself to fall to the temptation, outside of a more permenant situation, like a marriage, . . . .now that she ended the relationship, the bond that I formed with her has ripped my soul/spirit. I am sorely wounded, and hate myself for doing what I did.

I should have known that no "boyfriend - girlfriend relationship" is assured, . . . and will no longer make that mistake, waiting [whole heartedly] until I marry, should another chance be given to me. But the damage is done. I am bonded to this girl now, . . . . and it is as if I am enduring another divorce again. I did not take my actions lightly or casually. I would have been with her until marriage. That's all gone now.

 

[shad]

I should have known that no "boyfriend - girlfriend relationship" is assured, . . . and will no longer make that mistake, waiting [whole heartedly] until I marry, should another chance be given to me. But the damage is done. I am bonded to this girl now, . . . . and it is as if I am enduring another divorce again. I did not take my actions lightly or casually. I would have been with her until marriage. That's all gone now.

Hi Orion,

The Bible says "do not yoke with non-believer". I am not saying your girlfriends are non-believers. But it is obvious that you guys have different value systems; it should not be this way in Christian relationships. If your relationship is Jesus centered, you would have committed to each other and would not have change of mind later just because things dont come out our own way.

 

[Orion]

Actually, shad, . . . she claimed to be a better Christian than me, . . . . talking about how I needed to "get a closer walk with God", . . . be "filled with the spirit", . . . . . she constantly made me feel like I wasn't "living my life right". Yet it was SHE who initiated the times of falling. I was just too week to resist her because I longed to be close. Even in those times, I was conflicted. So now, she has thrown me off, and out of her life, . . . and I'm now facing the consequences of my shameful conduct,. . . again, because I should have known nothing is a sure thing.

I just don't know why God would allow me to go through it, . . . why I am placed in another situation where I have to suffer greatly, when all I am a good quality person. I feel like I can no longer "learn anymore lessons from God". I can't handle these things again. I am already firm in my stance that I will no longer fall to that sin, but will wait until marriage to allow myself to form another bond with someone. . . . as it should be. I wasn't strong, and the penalty has been severe. :verysad

 

[shad]

Actually, shad, . . . she claimed to be a better Christian than me, . . . . talking about how I needed to "get a closer walk with God", . . . be "filled with the spirit", . . . . . she constantly made me feel like I wasn't "living my life right". Yet it was SHE who initiated the times of falling. I was just too week to resist her because I longed to be close. Even in those times, I was conflicted. So now, she has thrown me off, and out of her life, . . . and I'm now facing the consequences of my shameful conduct,. . . again, because I should have known nothing is a sure thing.

I just don't know why God would allow me to go through it, . . . why I am placed in another situation where I have to suffer greatly, when all I am a good quality person. I feel like I can no longer "learn anymore lessons from God". I can't handle these things again. I am already firm in my stance that I will no longer fall to that sin, but will wait until marriage to allow myself to form another bond with someone. . . . as it should be. I wasn't strong, and the penalty has been severe. :verysad

It seems clear that she is behaving like non-believer so you have to let her go. If you are married to her already you cannot remarry unless she dies. That's what the Bible says. We vow to God when we get married. If you follow God's command, you never know what kind of blessing you will receive.

May God bless you Orion to endure this difficult time. Dont abandon God for predicaments. It is time to show your faithfulness to Him. He knows it is difficult, especially for young ones.

Who knows, she may change her mind when she sees your faithfulness to God and come back to you. It is biblical to remarry with the same spouse.

 

[dentonz]

Actually, shad, . . . she claimed to be a better Christian than me, . . . . talking about how I needed to "get a closer walk with God", . . . be "filled with the spirit", . . . . . she constantly made me feel like I wasn't "living my life right". Yet it was SHE who initiated the times of falling. I was just too week to resist her because I longed to be close. Even in those times, I was conflicted. So now, she has thrown me off, and out of her life, . . . and I'm now facing the consequences of my shameful conduct,. . . again, because I should have known nothing is a sure thing.

I just don't know why God would allow me to go through it, . . . why I am placed in another situation where I have to suffer greatly, when all I am a good quality person. I feel like I can no longer "learn anymore lessons from God". I can't handle these things again. I am already firm in my stance that I will no longer fall to that sin, but will wait until marriage to allow myself to form another bond with someone. . . . as it should be. I wasn't strong, and the penalty has been severe. :verysad

Jesus will never leave you Orion. Sometimes we have to fall into total depravity before we learn to refocus our attention to Jesus instead of our circumstances. I am also a musician, and I've found that through praise, we can enter into His presence. Sometimes we have to bring a sacrifice of thanksgiving to God. Give him praise, that he has accounted you worthy to be tested. Sometimes our tests are not whether or not we will fall into temptation, but how we get back up and press forward.
God will work out ALL things for the good of them that love him and are called according to his purpose.

Focus your attention on Jesus. Give him praise because of who he is. How much do you think God is pleased when we praise him in tough situations. When we set ourselves aside and say, God at this moment, at feel terrible, I'm at the bottom of my rope, I just can't take it any more, but I love you anyway, and I know that you are God, I know that you are worthy of all the praise and glory and honor, and I give you thanks for the very breath that I have, and I thank you for giving me the priviledge to come before your throne and worship you, because you are God alone, and worthy to be praised.

DO THIS, Praise Him! and see if He does not give you peace.

Praisin God For Ya!!!

 

[Orion]

shad, we weren't actually married, . . . it only FELT like a divorce, because for me, the act of intimacy is for those who are committed, as in a marriage, . . . it forms a bond with me for her, . . . and that isn't going to change. Thus, why I FEEL like I a have to endure another divorce, of sorts.

But yeah, she claimed something but let her hormones get the best of her. So did I. I expect many Christains do, unfortunately.

dentonz, . . . last night, . . . I spend nearly two hours playing and singing, . . . mostly Hillsong stuff. The pain is still with me, but those times do help.

 

[shad]

Orion,

Please keep your purity until you get married. You should get someone else involved in y'all's relationship to give advice before you get too deeply involved. You need someone who is mature Christian who is serious about the faith because love is blind. God does not take lightly when you get sexually involved before marriage. That's called fornication.

 

[Orion]

It also states that God will not test/tempt you with more than you can handle. That obviously was wrong, on my part. But I KNOW that sex outside of marriage is wrong. I was a complete IDIOT for doing what I KNEW was wrong, . . . and now, this is the consequences that I must suffer, . . .the punishment for my deeds. To me constantly reminded of my failure, . . . to have lost something precious, . . . to be alone, . . . . to know the fact that there will probably be no other person to which I will be able to [again] test my new found resolve. To live alone, having love to offer, care to offer, servanthood to offer, for someone who would become special in my life . . . .to marriage. OTHER people have done the exact same thing as me, . . . yet they bounced back, . . . even married the person they fell with. There is a WELL known speaker, who has done a lot of Christain videos and semenars (one being a relationship semenar) and he and his wife had premarital relations, but have a beautiful life together, now.

I have no confidence that I will find something lasting, though I have so much to offer. But I keep HOPING that something will arrise again, . . . and IF it does, I have definitely learned my lesson. I canNOT do this again, . . . allowing my heart to be bonded with someone, when it could end. Now, I say that, but even a marriage can [and often does] end, . . . but hopefully IF that person comes into my life, they will respect and honor their vow. My first wife didn't. Broke it because she "wasn't happy being married anymore and wanted the freedom to do whatever with WHOMever she wanted [it was another guy, of course]".

 

[dentonz]

It also states that God will not test/tempt you with more than you can handle. That obviously was wrong, on my part. But I KNOW that sex outside of marriage is wrong. I was a complete IDIOT for doing what I KNEW was wrong, . . . and now, this is the consequences that I must suffer, . . .the punishment for my deeds. To me constantly reminded of my failure, . . . to have lost something precious, . . . to be alone, . . . . to know the fact that there will probably be no other person to which I will be able to [again] test my new found resolve. To live alone, having love to offer, care to offer, servanthood to offer, for someone who would become special in my life . . . .to marriage. OTHER people have done the exact same thing as me, . . . yet they bounced back, . . . even married the person they fell with. There is a WELL known speaker, who has done a lot of Christain videos and semenars (one being a relationship semenar) and he and his wife had premarital relations, but have a beautiful life together, now.

I have no confidence that I will find something lasting, though I have so much to offer. But I keep HOPING that something will arrise again, . . . and IF it does, I have definitely learned my lesson. I canNOT do this again, . . . allowing my heart to be bonded with someone, when it could end. Now, I say that, but even a marriage can [and often does] end, . . . but hopefully IF that person comes into my life, they will respect and honor their vow. My first wife didn't. Broke it because she "wasn't happy being married anymore and wanted the freedom to do whatever with WHOMever she wanted [it was another guy, of course]".

I hear ya brother, don't be ashamed to say whatever is on your mind. You have confessed your sin and God promises that he is faithful and just to forgive us, you know that, but it still hurts. I've been there.
Why do you feel like you've lost confidence? Have you lost confidence in God or yourself?

 

[Orion]

I hear ya brother, don't be ashamed to say whatever is on your mind. You have confessed your sin and God promises that he is faithful and just to forgive us, you know that, but it still hurts. I've been there.
Why do you feel like you've lost confidence? Have you lost confidence in God or yourself?

Wow, dentonz, . . . . you ask a very good question, . . . a "can of worms" question, actually. I will attempt to answer to the best of my sincere and honest ability.

As for myself, . . . I really don't have a lot of confidence in my ability to first attract someone, then second, keep their interest to the point of agreeing to "spend the rest of their life with me".

As for God, I married once, but she walked away from the vow. Now, that wasn't God's fault, . . . but God brings marriages together, . . .and some eventually fail, . . . . so "confidence in God" . . . that is a tough one. It rest on the confidence of the person still, because God chooses not to affect "free will".

Can God BRING the right person. . . the RIGHT person for ME. . . . into my life? Absolutely. And I really SHOULD hold onto that solely, and reject when my brain thinks such things improbable.

 

[shad]

Can God BRING the right person. . . the RIGHT person for ME. . . . into my life? Absolutely. And I really SHOULD hold onto that solely, and reject when my brain thinks such things improbable.

That's the spirit, Orion.

However, since you married once already, I urge you to stay divorced unless your ex-wife dies or comes back to you. That's the consequences we pay when we goof up. It is time to show your faithfulness to God's laws. I am separated from my spouse but I am not seeking divorce. I know it was she who walked out on you but that's what God wants us to do regardless.

Please forgive me if I sound harsh but I hope you do the right thing for the Lord.

 

[Orion]

Christian couseling has given me Biblical grounds for remarriage, but thanks for your concern. It wasn't ME who goofed up the marriage. :yes

 

[shad]

Christian couseling has given me Biblical grounds for remarriage, but thanks for your concern. It wasn't ME who goofed up the marriage. :yes

I also understand this kind of counseling is accepted in the Christian communities but it is not biblical. It does not matter who initiated the divorce.

 

[Orion]

And I understand that other churches take a "too strict approach" and forget specific Biblical passages that state when a person IS free to remarry. We probably won't change each other's mind on this, but I'm confident it my church's ability to understand scripture.