What happened?
Do you know why the divorce rate for Christians is exactly the same if not worse than that of those who don’t claim Christ? Because “Christians†have adopted the worlds view on divorce, and relationships in general. They have become disposable.
We’re to be in the world, as “the light of the worldâ€, not of the world, hiding the light under a basket.
God said He hates divorce. So, if we say we agape God and see marriage as disposable, what does that make us? Liars!
Eph 5 says; Husbands agape your wives and wives respect, which translates revere your husbands.
In Gen 3, God told Eve, your desire will be to rule over your husband, but he shall rule over you. Women are geared toward dissension of their own husbands, and if they are unwilling to deny self and speak positively about and to him, in godly fear of the LORD, and let Christ agape him through her, they will never “revere their husbands†as the bible commands.
Men are called to agape their wives as Christ agapes the church, and gave Himself for it. Now we find why the warning against being unequally yoked.
Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?
If 2 have become 1 flesh, they are no longer 2 but 1.
So, how is “one†to trust in the LORD with ALL “their†new heart, and lean not unto “their†own understanding, acknowledge Him in ALL “their†ways, if their spouse has not yet come to “believe†and so trust and acknowledge Him in obedient “faith†also?
It’s almost like seeing the path, but there being a huge wall in front of it, that can only be removed by the other spouse being willing to trust in the LORD with ALL their heart and lean not unto their own understanding also.
So how do we bring that to fruition? Do we brow beat, judge, condemn, encourage in the Word that has lifted us up? What is the believing spouse to do to win the unbelieving spouse?
Well, let’s address this from both sides of the marriage through the eyes of agape.
First the husband; He knows by now he is charged to agape his wife as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it. But, what does that mean exactly?
So many of us have been trained by well meaning mentors who have been married longer, that it means to be willing to sacrifice your wishes for hers, and to encourage her in what she enjoys doing. As much as I love and respect those men, I also respectfully disagree. Not that we shouldn’t be willing to sacrifice our wishes, and encourage our wives, but our sacrifice should be for the sake of Agape, and should really NOT be sacrifice at all, as obedience is far better than sacrifice, and is testimony for the sake of the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
What I mean is this; we know the devil will use if possible those closest to us, to take our eyes off of Jesus, and his ultimate goal is to get glory that belongs to God. Who do you think is glorified when we refuse to deny self and so do not let Christ live out agape through us?
So, just letting her have her way, is not agape. It is simply letting her have her way, and eventually he’ll get tired of it and think it’s not fair, because in the flesh, “fair†is important. In fact, fair is what most of modern psychology is based on. This is exacerbated to the nth degree, when he’s getting no respect and she’s still constantly getting her way. I’m not saying she shouldn’t be able to do what she wants to do. I’m saying that what she wants to do should be for the sake of Agape, and from the heart of Agape and for the sake of the Gospel of Christ, and for the building of the kingdom of God. More on that; when we get to the section on the woman’s responsibility in the marriage.
Now if he is to biblically love/agape his wife, he must first Agape God, then by the Dunamis of God, agape his wife, others and himself. Let’s discuss why. If a man does not first have his identity welded down in Christ, his desires are not coming from the heart of Agape, but self. No matter how well meaning a man might be, he will not be able to provide what his wife needs, if he himself has the void ALL men have apart from Christ.
So, if he has indeed come to the place of repentance by “faithâ€, he must then look at the rest of instruction to husbands. That he might sanctify her and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. Notice it doesn’t say anything to the effect of; if she is receptive to it, or if she’s even a believer. That doesn’t mean to tell her she’s to submit or she’s not godly. Nor does it mean to find whatever verse fits the moment and use it to brow beat or guilt her into submission. Because, neither guilt, nor “grudgingly submitting†are the way of Agape.
Men are to encourage their wives, by first living out agape to them as unto Christ. Second, men are to be honest, despising the rejection, but not despising their wives. Remember agape comes when we willingly deny ourselves, willingly pick up our cross, and willingly follow Him, or Trust Him, Acknowledge Him in that Trust by abiding by the Word of God, and continuing in that obedience, knowing that God will be glorified and He (as James MacDonald says) promises a good result!
That’s also not to say we take it upon ourselves to be the conviction of the Holy Spirit, as if it were possible. God doesn’t need our help, He requires our obedience, and in our obedience, we honor Him and fulfill the Law of Christ. We help the cause of the Gospel by His Spirit living out agape through us. So, yes he can share encouraging passages from the Word of God, if God directs His path to do so, and He will in His time.
Phil 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; Phil 4:7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Agape)
Look, it’s a fact that most of us have said we’re doing this, if we’re familiar with it. We’ve read it, we say it, and we encourage others with it. But let’s look at it through the eyes of agape.
Be anxious for NOTHING, that’s not to say you can’t be excited, because that’s anticipation, and how can you walk in “faith†without anticipation of the good result that’s promised in doing so? It’s a lot like don’t fret. Don’t let anything she does cause you to fret, because you won’t have Joy if you do. And without Joy, you will not have peace. We won’t even talk about how far you will be from patience, and as we know, kind words through gritted teeth have NO value. But, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, LET your requests be made known to God, In order to “let†our requests be made known to God, He and us both have to “know†(be intimate with) we’re serious about our request. If we say we want peace and involve ourselves in war, what is the true request we’re making God intimately aware of?
Pro 24:1 Do not be envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them;
DON’T DO WHAT YOUR WELL MEANING FRIENDS DO, OR SUGGEST YOU DO!
If the solution isn’t agape, it is not a solution, and is NOTHING a “man of God†should involve himself with.
Pro 24:2 For their heart devises violence, And their lips talk of troublemaking.
Listen, anything done in the flesh, (sowed) to the flesh will reap corruption!
The fruit of the Spirit cannot and will not come from the flesh, because it is NOT born of the flesh.
John 3:6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
And we should ALL be mature enough by now to know that whoever sows to the Spirit will reap of the Spirit unto everlasting life.
So what can he do to change the landscape of his marriage? I’ll remind you that flattering lips work ruin, and the lying tongue hates those it crushes. Like when you say, “it’s ok honey†and you and her both know it’s NOT ok!
Pro 24:3 Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established;
Proverbs 9:10 says; it’s the “fear†(moral reverence) of the LORD, that is the beginning of wisdom†and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
So, is your behavior and your speech to her and about her the same in her absence and in her presence? Is your speech and attitude in the fear of the LORD?
Is it the same when she’s 10-10,000 miles away, as it is when she’s in the same room? The promise here is awesome and again shows how merciful and caring our God is of His children. He promises us the beginning of His Wisdom, and then goes beyond that and says; if we willingly choose to get to know Him, we are even promised His understanding!
Let me explain. When we fear (morally revere) the LORD, we are agreeing with Him. When we agree with Him, we are walking with Him. As we walk with Him, we get to know Him and as we get to know Him, we begin to understand Him.
Now, we will not understand Him completely until that which is Perfect comes, but then He promises we “will†know fully, even as we are fully known by Him.
So the question posed to you is; have you been living with her and when apart from her been (morally reverencing) the LORD, in all areas of your life, but specifically where your marriage (3 fold cord) is concerned? Or, are you just saying LORD change her heart, change her attitude, get me out of this, etc? Also, are you muttering under your breath, sighing in exasperation, yelling, cussing, “talking†about her behind her back (gossip), lusting after other women in your heart?
In as much as it depends on you, live at peace with her. “What does that mean?†you ask? I’m glad you asked. Agape says, “What is it that I allowed to happen in my flesh that contributed to this rift, or separation that is damaging our union and oneness in Christ?â€
I guarantee, you will find this very beneficial to you, and your marriage. Look for your .0001% or more that “fed fuel†to the conflict, and confess it to her. (This goes for every conflict between anyone) and tell her that you know it was wrong, and then tell her she and your marriage are to be honored as you have vowed, and that your words/behavior did not honor her or your union.
I know; the man must have respect from his wife.
Micah 6:8 but do you know oh man what is good? To DO justice, love mercy and walk humbly before your God.
What I mean is this; the man who demands respect, has not done justice. The man who realizes that God’s justice for those who fear Him is forgiveness, and do you not know also, that humility must come before honor?
You say she doesn’t respect you; ok. The bible says she’s supposed to respect you; ok. The bible says that the head of the woman is man; ok. Is that all you got? Here, let me help you out. How about she’s the weaker vessel, and she’s responsible to teach women younger in the “faith†to love their husbands? Oh, and she’s supposed to be the woman described in Proverbs 31! Ok. Is that it, are we done now?
Though ALL of the above is true, and there’s more where that came from too. It should not and cannot have any bearing on what you as a “man of God†and the “head of the woman†say or do. In fact, in ALL the time you spend either talking to her, or others about her, and looking for ways to blame and condemn her, sometimes putting Christ’s name on it; Do you not know oh man that it is your own unbelief and deceitful wicked heart that is condemning you? Read closely and carefully now;
1 Joh 3:20 For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows ALL things. 1Jo 3:21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. 1Jo 3:22 And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.
If you want to see “Dunamis†power transform the landscape of your marriage, light the fuse! Don’t blame your wife, God, or anyone else for the separation in your marriage; take your place as the head of the woman, by submitting under the headship of Christ.
Think about it. Do you have joy and peace, patience and kindness while you brow beat, threaten and guilt trip your wife to meet what you’ve decided are your “needs�
Let’s look at Agape and see what He says about it. Agape is patient, and kind. Gal 6:9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Agape does not envy. Pro 3:31 Do not envy the oppressor, And choose none of his ways; (well meaning, and sometimes worldly companions) Agape does not parade itself. Pro 27:2 Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips. Agape is not puffed up. (proud) Pro 11:2 When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom i.e. the fear/moral reverence of the LORD. Agape does not behave rudely. Deu 32:33 Their wine the poison of serpents, and the cruel venom of cobras. Agape does not seek its own. Phil 2:3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness/humility of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Agape is NOT provoked. Gal 5:26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. Agape thinks NO evil. Pro 6:16 These six things the LORD hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: Pro 6:17 A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, Pro 6:18 A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, Pro 6:19 A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren. (remember, evil doers are first evil thinkers) Agape does NOT rejoice in iniquity. Pro 21:15 It is a joy for the just to do justice, but destruction will come to the workers of iniquity. (Do you see the joy that comes only from Agape?) Agape rejoices in the Truth. Pro 16:6 In mercy and truth atonement is provided for iniquity; and by the fear of the LORD one departs from evil. Agape bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. Gal 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. John 14:1 (Agape speaking) “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. Rom 12:9 Let agape be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Rom 12:10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, [fil-ad-el-fee’-ah] in honor giving preference to one another; Rom 12:11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; Rom 12:12 rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; Rom 12:13 distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality. Rom 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rom 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
I think you get the point.
Agape,
paul
Grace + Truth = AGAPE
Do you know why the divorce rate for Christians is exactly the same if not worse than that of those who don’t claim Christ? Because “Christians†have adopted the worlds view on divorce, and relationships in general. They have become disposable.
We’re to be in the world, as “the light of the worldâ€, not of the world, hiding the light under a basket.
God said He hates divorce. So, if we say we agape God and see marriage as disposable, what does that make us? Liars!
Eph 5 says; Husbands agape your wives and wives respect, which translates revere your husbands.
In Gen 3, God told Eve, your desire will be to rule over your husband, but he shall rule over you. Women are geared toward dissension of their own husbands, and if they are unwilling to deny self and speak positively about and to him, in godly fear of the LORD, and let Christ agape him through her, they will never “revere their husbands†as the bible commands.
Men are called to agape their wives as Christ agapes the church, and gave Himself for it. Now we find why the warning against being unequally yoked.
Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, unless they are agreed?
If 2 have become 1 flesh, they are no longer 2 but 1.
So, how is “one†to trust in the LORD with ALL “their†new heart, and lean not unto “their†own understanding, acknowledge Him in ALL “their†ways, if their spouse has not yet come to “believe†and so trust and acknowledge Him in obedient “faith†also?
It’s almost like seeing the path, but there being a huge wall in front of it, that can only be removed by the other spouse being willing to trust in the LORD with ALL their heart and lean not unto their own understanding also.
So how do we bring that to fruition? Do we brow beat, judge, condemn, encourage in the Word that has lifted us up? What is the believing spouse to do to win the unbelieving spouse?
Well, let’s address this from both sides of the marriage through the eyes of agape.
First the husband; He knows by now he is charged to agape his wife as Christ loves the church and gave Himself for it. But, what does that mean exactly?
So many of us have been trained by well meaning mentors who have been married longer, that it means to be willing to sacrifice your wishes for hers, and to encourage her in what she enjoys doing. As much as I love and respect those men, I also respectfully disagree. Not that we shouldn’t be willing to sacrifice our wishes, and encourage our wives, but our sacrifice should be for the sake of Agape, and should really NOT be sacrifice at all, as obedience is far better than sacrifice, and is testimony for the sake of the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
What I mean is this; we know the devil will use if possible those closest to us, to take our eyes off of Jesus, and his ultimate goal is to get glory that belongs to God. Who do you think is glorified when we refuse to deny self and so do not let Christ live out agape through us?
So, just letting her have her way, is not agape. It is simply letting her have her way, and eventually he’ll get tired of it and think it’s not fair, because in the flesh, “fair†is important. In fact, fair is what most of modern psychology is based on. This is exacerbated to the nth degree, when he’s getting no respect and she’s still constantly getting her way. I’m not saying she shouldn’t be able to do what she wants to do. I’m saying that what she wants to do should be for the sake of Agape, and from the heart of Agape and for the sake of the Gospel of Christ, and for the building of the kingdom of God. More on that; when we get to the section on the woman’s responsibility in the marriage.
Now if he is to biblically love/agape his wife, he must first Agape God, then by the Dunamis of God, agape his wife, others and himself. Let’s discuss why. If a man does not first have his identity welded down in Christ, his desires are not coming from the heart of Agape, but self. No matter how well meaning a man might be, he will not be able to provide what his wife needs, if he himself has the void ALL men have apart from Christ.
So, if he has indeed come to the place of repentance by “faithâ€, he must then look at the rest of instruction to husbands. That he might sanctify her and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word. Notice it doesn’t say anything to the effect of; if she is receptive to it, or if she’s even a believer. That doesn’t mean to tell her she’s to submit or she’s not godly. Nor does it mean to find whatever verse fits the moment and use it to brow beat or guilt her into submission. Because, neither guilt, nor “grudgingly submitting†are the way of Agape.
Men are to encourage their wives, by first living out agape to them as unto Christ. Second, men are to be honest, despising the rejection, but not despising their wives. Remember agape comes when we willingly deny ourselves, willingly pick up our cross, and willingly follow Him, or Trust Him, Acknowledge Him in that Trust by abiding by the Word of God, and continuing in that obedience, knowing that God will be glorified and He (as James MacDonald says) promises a good result!
That’s also not to say we take it upon ourselves to be the conviction of the Holy Spirit, as if it were possible. God doesn’t need our help, He requires our obedience, and in our obedience, we honor Him and fulfill the Law of Christ. We help the cause of the Gospel by His Spirit living out agape through us. So, yes he can share encouraging passages from the Word of God, if God directs His path to do so, and He will in His time.
Phil 4:6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; Phil 4:7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Agape)
Look, it’s a fact that most of us have said we’re doing this, if we’re familiar with it. We’ve read it, we say it, and we encourage others with it. But let’s look at it through the eyes of agape.
Be anxious for NOTHING, that’s not to say you can’t be excited, because that’s anticipation, and how can you walk in “faith†without anticipation of the good result that’s promised in doing so? It’s a lot like don’t fret. Don’t let anything she does cause you to fret, because you won’t have Joy if you do. And without Joy, you will not have peace. We won’t even talk about how far you will be from patience, and as we know, kind words through gritted teeth have NO value. But, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, LET your requests be made known to God, In order to “let†our requests be made known to God, He and us both have to “know†(be intimate with) we’re serious about our request. If we say we want peace and involve ourselves in war, what is the true request we’re making God intimately aware of?
Pro 24:1 Do not be envious of evil men, nor desire to be with them;
DON’T DO WHAT YOUR WELL MEANING FRIENDS DO, OR SUGGEST YOU DO!
If the solution isn’t agape, it is not a solution, and is NOTHING a “man of God†should involve himself with.
Pro 24:2 For their heart devises violence, And their lips talk of troublemaking.
Listen, anything done in the flesh, (sowed) to the flesh will reap corruption!
The fruit of the Spirit cannot and will not come from the flesh, because it is NOT born of the flesh.
John 3:6 That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.
And we should ALL be mature enough by now to know that whoever sows to the Spirit will reap of the Spirit unto everlasting life.
So what can he do to change the landscape of his marriage? I’ll remind you that flattering lips work ruin, and the lying tongue hates those it crushes. Like when you say, “it’s ok honey†and you and her both know it’s NOT ok!
Pro 24:3 Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established;
Proverbs 9:10 says; it’s the “fear†(moral reverence) of the LORD, that is the beginning of wisdom†and knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
So, is your behavior and your speech to her and about her the same in her absence and in her presence? Is your speech and attitude in the fear of the LORD?
Is it the same when she’s 10-10,000 miles away, as it is when she’s in the same room? The promise here is awesome and again shows how merciful and caring our God is of His children. He promises us the beginning of His Wisdom, and then goes beyond that and says; if we willingly choose to get to know Him, we are even promised His understanding!
Let me explain. When we fear (morally revere) the LORD, we are agreeing with Him. When we agree with Him, we are walking with Him. As we walk with Him, we get to know Him and as we get to know Him, we begin to understand Him.
Now, we will not understand Him completely until that which is Perfect comes, but then He promises we “will†know fully, even as we are fully known by Him.
So the question posed to you is; have you been living with her and when apart from her been (morally reverencing) the LORD, in all areas of your life, but specifically where your marriage (3 fold cord) is concerned? Or, are you just saying LORD change her heart, change her attitude, get me out of this, etc? Also, are you muttering under your breath, sighing in exasperation, yelling, cussing, “talking†about her behind her back (gossip), lusting after other women in your heart?
In as much as it depends on you, live at peace with her. “What does that mean?†you ask? I’m glad you asked. Agape says, “What is it that I allowed to happen in my flesh that contributed to this rift, or separation that is damaging our union and oneness in Christ?â€
I guarantee, you will find this very beneficial to you, and your marriage. Look for your .0001% or more that “fed fuel†to the conflict, and confess it to her. (This goes for every conflict between anyone) and tell her that you know it was wrong, and then tell her she and your marriage are to be honored as you have vowed, and that your words/behavior did not honor her or your union.
I know; the man must have respect from his wife.
Micah 6:8 but do you know oh man what is good? To DO justice, love mercy and walk humbly before your God.
What I mean is this; the man who demands respect, has not done justice. The man who realizes that God’s justice for those who fear Him is forgiveness, and do you not know also, that humility must come before honor?
You say she doesn’t respect you; ok. The bible says she’s supposed to respect you; ok. The bible says that the head of the woman is man; ok. Is that all you got? Here, let me help you out. How about she’s the weaker vessel, and she’s responsible to teach women younger in the “faith†to love their husbands? Oh, and she’s supposed to be the woman described in Proverbs 31! Ok. Is that it, are we done now?
Though ALL of the above is true, and there’s more where that came from too. It should not and cannot have any bearing on what you as a “man of God†and the “head of the woman†say or do. In fact, in ALL the time you spend either talking to her, or others about her, and looking for ways to blame and condemn her, sometimes putting Christ’s name on it; Do you not know oh man that it is your own unbelief and deceitful wicked heart that is condemning you? Read closely and carefully now;
1 Joh 3:20 For if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and knows ALL things. 1Jo 3:21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence toward God. 1Jo 3:22 And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight.
If you want to see “Dunamis†power transform the landscape of your marriage, light the fuse! Don’t blame your wife, God, or anyone else for the separation in your marriage; take your place as the head of the woman, by submitting under the headship of Christ.
Think about it. Do you have joy and peace, patience and kindness while you brow beat, threaten and guilt trip your wife to meet what you’ve decided are your “needs�
Let’s look at Agape and see what He says about it. Agape is patient, and kind. Gal 6:9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Agape does not envy. Pro 3:31 Do not envy the oppressor, And choose none of his ways; (well meaning, and sometimes worldly companions) Agape does not parade itself. Pro 27:2 Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; A stranger, and not your own lips. Agape is not puffed up. (proud) Pro 11:2 When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom i.e. the fear/moral reverence of the LORD. Agape does not behave rudely. Deu 32:33 Their wine the poison of serpents, and the cruel venom of cobras. Agape does not seek its own. Phil 2:3 Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness/humility of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Agape is NOT provoked. Gal 5:26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. Agape thinks NO evil. Pro 6:16 These six things the LORD hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: Pro 6:17 A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, Pro 6:18 A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, Pro 6:19 A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren. (remember, evil doers are first evil thinkers) Agape does NOT rejoice in iniquity. Pro 21:15 It is a joy for the just to do justice, but destruction will come to the workers of iniquity. (Do you see the joy that comes only from Agape?) Agape rejoices in the Truth. Pro 16:6 In mercy and truth atonement is provided for iniquity; and by the fear of the LORD one departs from evil. Agape bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things. Gal 6:2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. John 14:1 (Agape speaking) “Let not your heart be troubled; you believe in God, believe also in Me. Rom 12:9 Let agape be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Rom 12:10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, [fil-ad-el-fee’-ah] in honor giving preference to one another; Rom 12:11 not lagging in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; Rom 12:12 rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer; Rom 12:13 distributing to the needs of the saints, given to hospitality. Rom 12:14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rom 12:15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
I think you get the point.
Agape,
paul
Grace + Truth = AGAPE
