Silversmok3
Member
Its a dark night in the deserted streets of Chicago, as I walk arm touching arm with Melissa ( not her real name).The events leading to us walking down that night started in the utiliarian corridors of the Des Plaines IL Military Entrance Processing Station, where we both took oaths as enlisted members of the Unites States air Force. To use a cliched expression , we hit it off so well its scary.
Same birth month, same family arrangments(only children of our families) ,same status in our lives ( ie broke) , same motivations to join the USAF ( doing something with our lives besides spending a lifetime in retail.
Only one problem. She isnt a practicing Christian.
This thought doesnt cross my mind when it should have, not that night as I walk with her from the bar to the train station in the city. Im enjoying her company, and the 2 guiness draught beers I had at the bar I met her at earlier didnt help my judgement or my spiritual standing. You could say I put God on the shelf as, seemingly for once, I found someone who wasnt fake, a lie, or using me for her own purposes.
As I called a buddy for a ride home and rose the next morning sober and refreshed, I called her to see what the next weeks plans were.
"You balance is low. Please refill your account by dialing......"
Oh. Yeah. My phones out of minutes. Due to having a need to pay for the date, I of course didnt budget for paying my phone bill so I could make any sort of calls.It was one of many warning signs, ones which God has used to make a simple point to me:Sexual sin is not a game.
Its not a joke. Its not something to gloss over as you drink and joke over the issues and challenges of life.God does not play games when it comes to his word, and will use subtle measures to remind His children of His rules.
I write this as a man who is tired. Im tired of instinctually looking at a woman's behind before thinking a thought to look elsewhere. Im tired of having to work in a retail mall location which is physically across the boardwalk from a Victoria's Secret store.Furthermore, I am afraid. I am only a man, and know from first, second, and thirdhand what happens when you ignore God's word and will from your own, seemingly overpowering urges and 'needs'.
While this battle cannot be won by me promising anything, I must do several things to minimize the risk of sexual disaster. I cant afford to change my job, not in this economy or my budget, but I am going to indefinitely suspend any attempt to date.
Theres simply too much risk to know a girl emotionally, and then have to distance myself due to risk of fornication. Since as a member of the USAF I cant afford to form ties to different church bodies, and my current church is sadly suffering from spiritual malaise, I am all but forced to abstain from the worldly concept of dating. Ill let God bring her into my life, and I have little doubt if its his will I see a woman, he'll make it VERY clear.
Until He makes the opprotunity, im staying out of the mix. Otherwise instead of me driving home from Chicago with my buddy, I might instead be a father due to me spending the night with Melissa. Or have an STD. Or both, combined with any other unsavory consequences combined with the horror of disappointing the Savior and the Father of all.
I dont know what the point is, except just to vent to people who understand, since it seems im surrounded by people who not only dont know God, but actively want to continue to sin.Talking to my friends or boss about any of the above, and I may as well be speaking Aramaic.
Thanks, fellow Christians. Feel free to send up some prayers for me.
-DT.
Same birth month, same family arrangments(only children of our families) ,same status in our lives ( ie broke) , same motivations to join the USAF ( doing something with our lives besides spending a lifetime in retail.
Only one problem. She isnt a practicing Christian.
This thought doesnt cross my mind when it should have, not that night as I walk with her from the bar to the train station in the city. Im enjoying her company, and the 2 guiness draught beers I had at the bar I met her at earlier didnt help my judgement or my spiritual standing. You could say I put God on the shelf as, seemingly for once, I found someone who wasnt fake, a lie, or using me for her own purposes.
As I called a buddy for a ride home and rose the next morning sober and refreshed, I called her to see what the next weeks plans were.
"You balance is low. Please refill your account by dialing......"
Oh. Yeah. My phones out of minutes. Due to having a need to pay for the date, I of course didnt budget for paying my phone bill so I could make any sort of calls.It was one of many warning signs, ones which God has used to make a simple point to me:Sexual sin is not a game.
Its not a joke. Its not something to gloss over as you drink and joke over the issues and challenges of life.God does not play games when it comes to his word, and will use subtle measures to remind His children of His rules.
I write this as a man who is tired. Im tired of instinctually looking at a woman's behind before thinking a thought to look elsewhere. Im tired of having to work in a retail mall location which is physically across the boardwalk from a Victoria's Secret store.Furthermore, I am afraid. I am only a man, and know from first, second, and thirdhand what happens when you ignore God's word and will from your own, seemingly overpowering urges and 'needs'.
While this battle cannot be won by me promising anything, I must do several things to minimize the risk of sexual disaster. I cant afford to change my job, not in this economy or my budget, but I am going to indefinitely suspend any attempt to date.
Theres simply too much risk to know a girl emotionally, and then have to distance myself due to risk of fornication. Since as a member of the USAF I cant afford to form ties to different church bodies, and my current church is sadly suffering from spiritual malaise, I am all but forced to abstain from the worldly concept of dating. Ill let God bring her into my life, and I have little doubt if its his will I see a woman, he'll make it VERY clear.
Until He makes the opprotunity, im staying out of the mix. Otherwise instead of me driving home from Chicago with my buddy, I might instead be a father due to me spending the night with Melissa. Or have an STD. Or both, combined with any other unsavory consequences combined with the horror of disappointing the Savior and the Father of all.
I dont know what the point is, except just to vent to people who understand, since it seems im surrounded by people who not only dont know God, but actively want to continue to sin.Talking to my friends or boss about any of the above, and I may as well be speaking Aramaic.
Thanks, fellow Christians. Feel free to send up some prayers for me.
-DT.
