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Have I sinned in this situation?

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Riley_15

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I would like some honest opinions on if I have sinned in this situation/done the wrong thing.
I am close to my brother and have always believed in putting family first.
He had a girlfriend. We became friends; our friends became her friends. I found out my brother had an affair. It put me in a hard place, between my family and a friend. I immediately came to him privately to tell him to do the right thing: stop the affair, come clean to girlfriend so she knows the truth. But I never brought it up again because 1.) I felt he was/is responsible for correcting his own mistakes. I am not responsible for others' discretions 2.) I don't like medaling in other's business/relationships; it doesn't feel my place to be involved after I've said my peace.
He ended up proposing later and then coming clean shortly before the wedding. I DO regret not bringing it up again when he proposed, because I found out (after he came clean) that the affair had continued after our discussion. But even then, I would have just pushed him to do the right thing and have him be the one to tell, not me. He was also suicidal when all this mess had started, so if something had happened to him because of motions I initiated, I would never have forgiven myself. Was I wrong in not telling the girlfriend in the first place?
 
I don't think it is sinful that you did not inform the girlfriend. Would telling her be a form of gossip? If so, that would be sinful. You did what was right to do. You confronted your brother and tried to restore him. Whether he takes your advice or not is on him and eventually he did, albeit maybe a little later than ideal.

Having been on the girlfriend's side of things before, I know how embarrassing and foolish it feels to learn that my friends knew about the affairs before I did but truth be told, had they said something I would not have believed them and probably would have felt they were meddling in my business.

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. For each will have to bear his own load.
Galatians 6:1-5 NKJV
 
Hi Riley! From a dispersed former Michigander.

Was/is your brother a christian? In a church? If so then our Lord has laid out the way to handle a believer involved in a sinful situation (which your brother was).

Matthew 18:15
If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother. 16 But if he does not listen to you, take one or two more with you, so that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every fact may be confirmed. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.


That can be a hard road to follow, but it is absolutely the right path to take. Going to the girlfriend before going with the witnesses and telling the congregation would have been out of order, and possibly sinful itself.
 
No one is judging you or your brother, that's Jesus business. Christian people are to use spirtual discernment. First Corinthians 2:14. But the natural man received not the things of the spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spirtualty Discerned. PNEUMATIKOS in Greek means = Spirtualty. Those who follow the flesh are not disciplined. Temptation or lust lures the person to commit sins. The individual cant see the red lines, boundaries. 1 John 2:16. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. Even a Christian can be fond of worldly influences, is incapable of loving God. The bible teaches us that friendship with the world is the enemy of God. Its godly influence verses worldly influences. Ephesians 2:12. That at the time ye were without christ, being aliens from the common wealth of Israel, and strangers from the covenant of promise, having no hope, and without God in the world. The holy spirit conviction is absolutely neccessary if one is to ever to be saved. Unless God draws a man or woman to Himself, salvation is impossible. True salvation involves God working the in the heart of a lost soul by germinating on that souls heart the seeds of conviction that he is lost and deserves hell, and that' Jesus is his only hope for Restoration to God. And theirs the millennium, revelation chapter 20, the spirituality dead will have a opportunity to find eternal life. It's up to the individual if they accept Jesus as their king or satan.
 
I would like some honest opinions on if I have sinned in this situation/done the wrong thing.
I am close to my brother and have always believed in putting family first.
He had a girlfriend. We became friends; our friends became her friends. I found out my brother had an affair. It put me in a hard place, between my family and a friend. I immediately came to him privately to tell him to do the right thing: stop the affair, come clean to girlfriend so she knows the truth. But I never brought it up again because 1.) I felt he was/is responsible for correcting his own mistakes. I am not responsible for others' discretions 2.) I don't like medaling in other's business/relationships; it doesn't feel my place to be involved after I've said my peace.
He ended up proposing later and then coming clean shortly before the wedding. I DO regret not bringing it up again when he proposed, because I found out (after he came clean) that the affair had continued after our discussion. But even then, I would have just pushed him to do the right thing and have him be the one to tell, not me. He was also suicidal when all this mess had started, so if something had happened to him because of motions I initiated, I would never have forgiven myself. Was I wrong in not telling the girlfriend in the first place?
I think you did what you could do. I think you aren’t the holy Spirit and so you have done the part a brother can play.
 
These types of situations are always difficult, and don't put people in a fair spot.

Confronting him was probably the most you can do. It's true, you can't make people change or tell the truth. People have to make their own decisions and for you to step in may not have been your place.

It's good that he came clean about it, but probably should have earlier (before proposing would've probably been better). Either way, having the truth out there is good. Although, it wouldn't be good if he came clean about it and then was still cheating, that would be terrible.

I understanding not wanting to push someone who is or could be a bit mentally unstable and not wanting to "push them" because you'd blame yourself. However, enforcing what's right is a different thing. Even if they're offended by you, you aren't driving them towards that decision. Some people will be offended by the truth, but it doesn't mean they get away from God's laws on their Judgement Day.

I don't believe you were wrong in not saying anything. It wasn't exactly your place to.
 
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