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having doubts about salvation, any advice appreciated

S

shmrmommy

Member
<style type="text/css">p { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }</style> I know this is really long. I'm sorry about that, :sorry but it's sort of a complex question. I'm at my wit's end about this, and am trying to get help from every source I can. :help I have been going through a lot of doubt about whether or not I'm really saved. When I was 16, I realized I never had been saved. I prayed to be saved several times, but never really felt any different, or any better about it. I wonder if I was really trusting Him, or was really sincere. I went up at a revival and prayed to be saved, and still felt no better. At that point, I didn't know what else to do. I just sort of thought, “Well, I've done all I can. I have to be saved.†and just tried to believe I was. This has been nearly 12 years ago, so it's hard for me to say what I really felt or believed about things back then. I know I wanted Jesus to save me, that I didn't want to live in sin anymore, that I wanted to have a relationship with Him, but I have never understood why the fear of being lost never really went away. I wonder now if maybe I was trusting in having some supernatural experience or something, or maybe I didn't fully understand everything about salvation back then. Like I said, though, it's been so long ago, and I've agonized and went over and over this so much in my mind that I'm just confused about the whole thing. :wall I do sort of think my life changed after that. I began trying not to sin, although I still screwed up a lot. I met my husband when I was 19, and he was a member of the Mormon church. I felt a powerful desire to witness to Him, and did so. He left the Mormon church and was saved several months after we met. I really feel that God used me to help him to get out of that cult. I look at this, and at other changes that took place in my life, and I wonder how I can doubt my salvation, but I do. Even though I didn't want to sin, it was like sometimes I still would, even for long periods of time without really feeling a great deal of remorse about it. I would try to justify it or act like it was no big deal. Every time, though, after a while, I would feel really bad and repent and try to turn away from it. Over time, however, I do see that this tendency has decreased. I am really trying to not sin anymore, and I don't want any sin at all in my life. I want to live a life that is pleasing to God. The fact that for so long, I didn't really feel this way as strongly really bothers me, though. I wonder if that means that I was never really saved. Really this, and the fact that I'm not really sure if I was saved when I was 16 are the two main things that cause me to be afraid I'm lost. I wonder if I really do trust in Him to save me. I want to, but I wonder if I really do. I have prayed countless times for Him to save me if I never was really saved then, but I still agonize over this. I have talked to my pastor about this, and to many other Christians I know, and still I feel so tormented. I really, really want to be saved. I want to know I'm saved, and not have this persistent doubt. I realize that I will never be able to grow as a Christian if this continues. :verysad My husband says he thinks that maybe the Devil :devil is trying to twist this issue around and cloud my mind to keep me from growing. What do you think? What should I do about this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. This is an issue I've struggled with for almost 12 years, and I'd really like to be free from it.:angel3
 
Hi, we have the Holy Spirit STRIVING on EVERYONE. (see Gen. 6:3) He will not always do so.

OK: Acts 5:32 finds that the only way to be saved is to SURENDER to Him. It is then that we are JUSTIFIED! Rom. 8:1 Now, that is mankinds FIRST REQUIREMENT. Understand two things here. This IS REQUIRED! Read both verses again. Christ says that WE MUST BE BORN AGAIN! One can have the Holy Spirit STRIVE ON THEM and feel warm & fuzzy(?) inside even with tears running down their cheeks, and still not yield to Him. HE REQUIRES %100 of us!
He must be IN THEM, not on them! Got that? In other words, there is a vast difference of His striving to get IN, and just trying to do so! Surely there are many folks that are satified with just 'feeling' conviction from His Strivings?

OK: We make the right choice! Of Total Surrender, & now we ARE JUSTIFIED WITH [[NO]] CONDEMNATION as was given in Rom. 8:1. We are Spiritually taken back to Adams PERFECTION except the carnal body has not been. We have a fight with our body, and the Born Again mind [IS TO CONTROL THE CARNAL STILL BODY]. (and that is the battle that satan uses to have one lost!)

We are as Adam was before his fall. IN CHRIST, yet, not MATURE enough as babes yet. He fell, & even after being Born Again (again Rom. 8:1) we [[SEE]] Rom. 8:14!! Got that? WE MUST BE LED and not fight against the Holy Spirits LEADING! This FOLLOWING WILL FIND MATURITY! Nah. 1:9

NOW: For your Peace & Satisfaction!:) God has given us HIS WORD in Phil. 4:13 + 2 Cor. 12:9 that as long as [WE OBEY & CHOOSE TO OBEY] we will reach full MATURITY! (see Nah. 1:9 again) And there is NO ONE that the Holy Spirit will not LEAD, if they will follow, but the DECISSION is always up to us as a free one to make.

Even then we find that the Holy Spirit will not give up on us unless He can NO LONGER REACH US. Such as Gen. 6:3, Matt. 7's Broadway, Rev. 3:16 & even the whole bunch of Rev. 17:1-5. It is interesting that the COLD BOLD SINNER is easier to reach than the sick LUKEWARM, as seen in Rev. 3:16. And these are whole folds or denominations! God warns of in Rev. 2:5

SO: Bottom/line! Humanity is not required to be %100 correct in all knowledge, theology +, or even pass that +!;) We can ONLY BE ACCOUNTABLE for what we know & for [WHERE] the Holy Spirit has LED US. But it IS MANDATORY to follow where ever He DOES LEAD US! Therefore we see Rev. 18:4 in place for US TO FOLLOW!

---Elijah
 
My husband says he thinks that maybe the Devil :devil is trying to twist this issue around and cloud my mind to keep me from growing. What do you think? What should I do about this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. This is an issue I've struggled with for almost 12 years, and I'd really like to be free from it.:angel3
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Hi Shmrmommy, welcome to the board! :waving


I think your husband is on the right track.

I was born again one late spring night (really early in the morning) back in 1974, after reading through the entire Gospel of John. I can point to that event and say, with certainty, "this was when I was born again."

My husband on the other hand, who is most certainly born again, and lives out the fruit of the Spirit, can point to no such event. He wouldn't be able to tell you the day and time that he became born again and yet, he is. It was just a more subtle process with him.

It's a mistake of the church to teach that one must be able to point to a specific time and place and say..."this is when I was born again." It's true that some folks will have an epiphany type of experience...but many others don't.

You said, " I am really trying to not sin anymore, and I don't want any sin at all in my life. I want to live a life that is pleasing to God."

This is a very strong statement of faith...extremely strong. The fact that sin wages war within you, that you reject sin and desire to please God...nobody feels that way unless the Spirit of God is within them, giving them this desire.

You may have noticed that I use the term "born again" instead of saved. This is because salvation isn't a one-time event that takes place and BAM, you're in. At some point in every Christian life, a person is born again by the Spirit and salvation is the process by which we achieve ultimate perfection in Christ.

With you...it very well may have been when you were 16 that you were born again....and you've been growing in the grace that brings salvation ever since...sometimes living according to God's word, sometimes not...a common enough testimony. But nonetheless, God put you on a path...and you are still on that path or otherwise you wouldn't care if you were saved or not.

As for what you should do about this....well, for starters, I'd suggest stop worrying about a specific event and just continue to live out God's will for your life. Don't worry about feelings...they come and they go, but they don't change your position in Christ at all.

Think about your relationship with your husband...I don't know how long you've been married, but I'm sure that you've ran a gamut of feelings towards your DH...sometimes so in love with him you feel warm and fuzzy just thinking about him, other times wanting to just scream in frustration with him...but none of those feelings have changed the position you are in as his wife...you're married to him, and will remain married to him until you die or at least take very specific steps to reject your marriage and dissolve it. This is true with your life in Christ...you are His and will remain His unless you outright reject Him and fall into disbelief. And, if you are desiring to live a life pleasing to Him, and worried that you might not be truly His...then you most certainly have not rejected Him.

I hope this helps.
 
Personally I suspect those who claim they've never doubted.
 
Doubt is the devil plain and simple. He is attacking you and trying to get you to turn away from God. This is one of his many tactics he likes to pull on believers especially those that are going through a hard time.

Get on your knees and renew your commitment to Jesus.....and then thank him for it......then you need to rebuke these spirits of doubt....tell them to leave in the name of Jesus. This might take some time in prayer, but have faith and believe that it is done and it will be done.

Just remember we need to praise God in the good times and the bad....we can't allow doubt to creep in even when things are looking bad.

God bless you
 
Nacho said:
Doubt is the devil plain and simple. He is attacking you and trying to get you to turn away from God. This is one of his many tactics he likes to pull on believers especially those that are going through a hard time.

Get on your knees and renew your commitment to Jesus.....and then thank him for it......then you need to rebuke these spirits of doubt....tell them to leave in the name of Jesus. This might take some time in prayer, but have faith and believe that it is done and it will be done.

Just remember we need to praise God in the good times and the bad....we can't allow doubt to creep in even when things are looking bad.

God bless you
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AMEN_TO_THAT.gif
 
Thanks so much everyone. Handy, what you said really helps. I've been feeling for a while now like that maybe God just wants me to trust Him with this. To let Him handle it, and if I'm really truly not saved then I'll know, and it won't be a confusing thing. So, I think I'm just going to let it go as best I can, trust Jesus to do all He promised, and believe on Him. I've heard of other people having the same sort of salvation experience as your husband, where they can't really pinpoint an exact time of when they were saved, and in fact the Bible doesn't say anything at all about having some life-changing experience, except maybe in the case of Paul. It was like with most believers in the early church, they just decided to believe and trust on Christ, and that was that. I agree with you that the church today shouldn't put so much emphasis on the time and place a person was saved, but I guess because they do, and because it's like you are expected to know when it actually occurred, it makes me a little afraid that because I am unsure about it, that it never really occurred at all. But, like you said, I wouldn't feel the way I do about sin and living for God if I wasn't saved, and I don't believe I would have a concern to see others saved, etc, if I wasn't a Christian.
 
shmrmommy everyone has doubts. i'm not sure if this is your case but most the time doubts come when we are isolated from other believers. I would first point out to you that you have a sense of sin. You want it out of your life. This in and of itself shows the spirt is working on you. People who sin freely rarly call it sin. Secondly I would encourage you to get involved in some way at your church. Start going to bible studies, wednesday services.. things to get you connected with other believers. May want to start studing the bible again. Now if you do this try it with a goal of getting closer to God. Don't just read it to read it, but ask god to show you something in it that he hasn't before that will bring you closer to him. May also want to start a personal prayer time. Where you have a time be it the same time everyday or just a time you want to open up to god that fits whenever. The important thing is just to pray to him and let him know what your feeling, going through. It's not that he doesn't know, it's that your taking time to pray to him.

keep us imformed on how your doing

God Bless
 
Thanks everyone. You guys have really helped me feel a lot better. I'm going to take these suggestions and try them out. I'll keep everyone informed as to how I'm doing.
Handy: I posted a long answer to your post, but it's not shown up on here yet. If it doesn't soon I'll reiterate it.
 
shmrmommy said:
<style type="text/css">p { margin-bottom: 0.08in; }</style> I know this is really long. I'm sorry about that, :sorry but it's sort of a complex question. I'm at my wit's end about this, and am trying to get help from every source I can. :help I have been going through a lot of doubt about whether or not I'm really saved. When I was 16, I realized I never had been saved. I prayed to be saved several times, but never really felt any different, or any better about it. I wonder if I was really trusting Him, or was really sincere. I went up at a revival and prayed to be saved, and still felt no better. At that point, I didn't know what else to do. I just sort of thought, “Well, I've done all I can. I have to be saved.†and just tried to believe I was. This has been nearly 12 years ago, so it's hard for me to say what I really felt or believed about things back then. I know I wanted Jesus to save me, that I didn't want to live in sin anymore, that I wanted to have a relationship with Him, but I have never understood why the fear of being lost never really went away. I wonder now if maybe I was trusting in having some supernatural experience or something, or maybe I didn't fully understand everything about salvation back then. Like I said, though, it's been so long ago, and I've agonized and went over and over this so much in my mind that I'm just confused about the whole thing. :wall I do sort of think my life changed after that. I began trying not to sin, although I still screwed up a lot. I met my husband when I was 19, and he was a member of the Mormon church. I felt a powerful desire to witness to Him, and did so. He left the Mormon church and was saved several months after we met. I really feel that God used me to help him to get out of that cult. I look at this, and at other changes that took place in my life, and I wonder how I can doubt my salvation, but I do. Even though I didn't want to sin, it was like sometimes I still would, even for long periods of time without really feeling a great deal of remorse about it. I would try to justify it or act like it was no big deal. Every time, though, after a while, I would feel really bad and repent and try to turn away from it. Over time, however, I do see that this tendency has decreased. I am really trying to not sin anymore, and I don't want any sin at all in my life. I want to live a life that is pleasing to God. The fact that for so long, I didn't really feel this way as strongly really bothers me, though. I wonder if that means that I was never really saved. Really this, and the fact that I'm not really sure if I was saved when I was 16 are the two main things that cause me to be afraid I'm lost. I wonder if I really do trust in Him to save me. I want to, but I wonder if I really do. I have prayed countless times for Him to save me if I never was really saved then, but I still agonize over this. I have talked to my pastor about this, and to many other Christians I know, and still I feel so tormented. I really, really want to be saved. I want to know I'm saved, and not have this persistent doubt. I realize that I will never be able to grow as a Christian if this continues. :verysad My husband says he thinks that maybe the Devil :devil is trying to twist this issue around and cloud my mind to keep me from growing. What do you think? What should I do about this? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. This is an issue I've struggled with for almost 12 years, and I'd really like to be free from it.:angel3
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This is going to sound like a Micky Mouse solution, but in short you are focusing too much on yourself yet. Instead of asking God for reassurance, thank Him instead for your salvation. After all, he died for you before you were born and were called before the foundation of the world in Him. Trust me, things you said sound the same things I went thru over 30 years ago. And on another note, then study the Word over and over again. I have 6 thick notebooks (over 1500 pages I believe) of notes regarding the bible. Once I focused on God and how neat He was, I lost all interest in myself.

Think of it this way: If you like bicycling and join such a club, you are focused on the event of bicycling and not drilling yourself with questions such as "Do I love bicycling, or do my fellow club members want me in their club? or whatever. You just go and do it no matter what, even on days you don't feel as much as doing that. Likewise, you accepted the Lord --- now just get into living in Him and learning all you can about the bible, about helping and witnessing to others, etc just as you would ride that bicycle without questioning your allegiance. And remember this ---- the Lord must mean something to you otherwise this would not bother you. Don't you think He already knows that? So your allegiance is there.

Hope that helps.
 
tim-from-pa said:
This is going to sound like a Micky Mouse solution, but in short you are focusing too much on yourself yet. Instead of asking God for reassurance, thank Him instead for your salvation. After all, he died for you before you were born and were called before the foundation of the world in Him. Trust me, things you said sound the same things I went thru over 30 years ago. And on another note, then study the Word over and over again. I have 6 thick notebooks (over 1500 pages I believe) of notes regarding the bible. Once I focused on God and how neat He was, I lost all interest in myself.

Think of it this way: If you like bicycling and join such a club, you are focused on the event of bicycling and not drilling yourself with questions such as "Do I love bicycling, or do my fellow club members want me in their club? or whatever. You just go and do it no matter what, even on days you don't feel as much as doing that. Likewise, you accepted the Lord --- now just get into living in Him and learning all you can about the bible, about helping and witnessing to others, etc just as you would ride that bicycle without questioning your allegiance. And remember this ---- the Lord must mean something to you otherwise this would not bother you. Don't you think He already knows that? So your allegiance is there.

Hope that helps.
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I could not have said it better, furthermore, this helped me just now...

I need to change a lot of my habits

However I would like to add that as humans we have a natural inclination towards sin, and when Jesus was on that cross he died for him all.

If you want a deeper conviction remember that Christ died for you while you were still the kind of person that would put him on the cross. He knew even then....
 
Thanks Tim and Oats. You guys are totally right about all this. One question I do have, though... What about where Jesus says that about "Not everyone who says Lord Lord shall enter therein." and He goes on to say that they'll talk about "Didn't I prophesy in your name and cast out demons in your name" and He'll say, "depart from me I never knew you." Did those people believe they were saved and weren't? Or were they just trusting in what they were doing to save them, and not in Christ?
 
shmrmommy said:
Thanks Tim and Oats. You guys are totally right about all this. One question I do have, though... What about where Jesus says that about "Not everyone who says Lord Lord shall enter therein." and He goes on to say that they'll talk about "Didn't I prophesy in your name and cast out demons in your name" and He'll say, "depart from me I never knew you." Did those people believe they were saved and weren't? Or were they just trusting in what they were doing to save them, and not in Christ?
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I think Jesus was referring to false prophets and double minded Christians.

without repentant hearts...

i think we all will sin, but we must not make it a habit, furthermore when godly guilt is produced, we are less likely to sin...
 
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