It is hard to overstate the devastating impact that pornography is having on our world. Those who produce it are exploiting women and men who are made in God’s image. Those who consume it live in shame—or worse, they lose their ability to feel shame at all. Porn ruins marriages, supports sex trafficking, and has created a world where almost any sexual behavior can begin to seem normal. It has taken what was a beautiful gift from God, and used it to create a world of super-charged sexual pleasure, tailored to the perverted desires of the individual.
Sadly, porn is not just a problem “out there”—it is a widespread problem in the church.[1] But the church is supposed to be God’s answer to the scourge of pornography; it is meant to be the place where people can find the joy and connection and happiness that porn promises but never delivers. Porn holds out a counterfeit version of abundant life to those who use it, but the church is the only place in the world where the real thing can be found. Churches should help inoculate their members against porn’s seductive lies; they should also serve as a source of help and healing for people who have ensnared themselves in porn’s trap.
The question for us is: how can our churches be those kind of places? It might seem like the odds are stacked against us. After all, porn is easily available, extremely addictive, and the industry is very well-funded. But we have the Spirit of Christ and the power of his gospel on our side, and so we can be sure that he will set captives free by his grace. In that light, here are four things we can do to help our churches become places where people find freedom from porn.
If the interactions between members of a church do not normally go beyond surface issues—things like sports, politics, and raising children—then it is unlikely that many people are going to be willing to talk openly about their pornography use. The poisonous mold of pornography flourishes in an environment of secrecy and darkness, but the church is meant to be a place where sin is dragged out of the shadows and exposed to the cleansing light of God’s truth (John 3:19-21).
This means Christian leadership often involves a ministry of “going first.” Church leaders should be examples of Godliness and maturity (e.g., 1 Timothy 4:12, Titus 2:2-5), but we are also examples of how we handle indwelling sin in our lives. If we are never honest about our sin or struggles, or if we pretend we are somehow magically exempted from having to deal with the sexual temptations that every other Christian faces, the church will get the message loud and clear. We will have discipled them to think that Christian maturity means freedom from struggles and that it’s not OK to be honest about what’s really going on in our lives.
In many churches, sexual sin is just not something that is discussed. Sure, you’ll get sermons warning against adultery or condemning homosexual practices, but those things are spoken of as sins that are “out there” in the world. What is often not discussed is the fact that we are all sexual sinners, and that each of us must be committed to putting our indwelling sexual sin—and, particularly, our use of pornography—to death by the Spirit (Romans 8:13).
I think the main reason for our silence is that we are squeamish. Pornography is not something that is normally discussed in polite society, or in mixed company, or in front of children. So if we talk about sin at all, we tend to keep it to a discussion of “respectable” sins (pride, greed, selfishness) and pretend like more than half the men and many of the women in the church aren’t at home watching people have sex on their computers (see, doesn’t that make you uncomfortable?).
For a long time, the American church could rely on wider society to enforce something like Biblical sexual norms. But the dam has broken and the restraints have come off. The only thing our society can condemn is non-consensual behavior. This means the church needs to do its job and train people to live in a counter-cultural way in this world. The Bible isn’t squeamish when it comes to warning God’s people about the dangers of sexual sin (see Proverbs 5, 1 Corinthians 6:12-20), and so neither should we. Christians need to hear those warnings and wrestle with the very real dangers. That means pastors need to be willing to speak frankly, directly, and frequently to the issue.
The culture (the atmosphere, the temperature, the heartbeat) of our churches must be set by the gospel of grace. The gospel message tells us that we are terrible sinners, that we are so bad that the only way for us to be made right with God is by the crucifixion of the Son of God. That means that in the church, we are free to acknowledge our sin, our shame, and our failure, because if there’s one thing Christians know about each other, it is that we are all sinners! But the gospel of grace also tells us that we are completely right with God through the death and resurrection of Jesus, that we do not bear the guilt and shame of our sin anymore. Therefore, we can confess our sin and enlist the help of our brothers and sisters in fighting it. We don’t have to pretend to be more righteous than we are, because in Christ we have been made completely righteous.
The Bible contains an entire book (Song of Songs) celebrating the romantic and sexual love between a man and woman. Scripture teaches us that sex was designed by God to be a beautiful act of self-giving between a man and a woman who are bound together in marriage. It creates a spiritual and physical union between a man and woman that is nothing less than a picture of the believer’s spiritual union with Christ (see: Ephesians 5:31-32, 1 Corinthians 6:16-17).
The best way to spot a counterfeit is to know the genuine article intimately. The world is selling porn—isolated, selfish, dehumanizing, often violent—a terrible and soul-destroying counterfeit of what God intended it to be. Sex as God designed it is like a gourmet meal; porn is rat poison with a candy coating. Christians need an understanding of the beauty and power of sex that is so compelling that we would never be satisfied by porn. The church is the only place where that message can be heard.
[1] Source: https://www.restoringheartscounseling.com/2020/12/21/is-porn-addiction-a-problem-in-your-church/
The post How Churches Can Help People Find Freedom from Pornography appeared first on Focus on the Family.
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Sadly, porn is not just a problem “out there”—it is a widespread problem in the church.[1] But the church is supposed to be God’s answer to the scourge of pornography; it is meant to be the place where people can find the joy and connection and happiness that porn promises but never delivers. Porn holds out a counterfeit version of abundant life to those who use it, but the church is the only place in the world where the real thing can be found. Churches should help inoculate their members against porn’s seductive lies; they should also serve as a source of help and healing for people who have ensnared themselves in porn’s trap.
The question for us is: how can our churches be those kind of places? It might seem like the odds are stacked against us. After all, porn is easily available, extremely addictive, and the industry is very well-funded. But we have the Spirit of Christ and the power of his gospel on our side, and so we can be sure that he will set captives free by his grace. In that light, here are four things we can do to help our churches become places where people find freedom from porn.
1. Create a culture where it is normal for Christians to talk about their struggles with sin.
If the interactions between members of a church do not normally go beyond surface issues—things like sports, politics, and raising children—then it is unlikely that many people are going to be willing to talk openly about their pornography use. The poisonous mold of pornography flourishes in an environment of secrecy and darkness, but the church is meant to be a place where sin is dragged out of the shadows and exposed to the cleansing light of God’s truth (John 3:19-21).
This means Christian leadership often involves a ministry of “going first.” Church leaders should be examples of Godliness and maturity (e.g., 1 Timothy 4:12, Titus 2:2-5), but we are also examples of how we handle indwelling sin in our lives. If we are never honest about our sin or struggles, or if we pretend we are somehow magically exempted from having to deal with the sexual temptations that every other Christian faces, the church will get the message loud and clear. We will have discipled them to think that Christian maturity means freedom from struggles and that it’s not OK to be honest about what’s really going on in our lives.
2. We should work to create a culture where it is normal to talk about Christian’s struggles with sexual sin in particular.
In many churches, sexual sin is just not something that is discussed. Sure, you’ll get sermons warning against adultery or condemning homosexual practices, but those things are spoken of as sins that are “out there” in the world. What is often not discussed is the fact that we are all sexual sinners, and that each of us must be committed to putting our indwelling sexual sin—and, particularly, our use of pornography—to death by the Spirit (Romans 8:13).
I think the main reason for our silence is that we are squeamish. Pornography is not something that is normally discussed in polite society, or in mixed company, or in front of children. So if we talk about sin at all, we tend to keep it to a discussion of “respectable” sins (pride, greed, selfishness) and pretend like more than half the men and many of the women in the church aren’t at home watching people have sex on their computers (see, doesn’t that make you uncomfortable?).
For a long time, the American church could rely on wider society to enforce something like Biblical sexual norms. But the dam has broken and the restraints have come off. The only thing our society can condemn is non-consensual behavior. This means the church needs to do its job and train people to live in a counter-cultural way in this world. The Bible isn’t squeamish when it comes to warning God’s people about the dangers of sexual sin (see Proverbs 5, 1 Corinthians 6:12-20), and so neither should we. Christians need to hear those warnings and wrestle with the very real dangers. That means pastors need to be willing to speak frankly, directly, and frequently to the issue.
3. Make Jesus and his gospel of grace the center of church life.
The culture (the atmosphere, the temperature, the heartbeat) of our churches must be set by the gospel of grace. The gospel message tells us that we are terrible sinners, that we are so bad that the only way for us to be made right with God is by the crucifixion of the Son of God. That means that in the church, we are free to acknowledge our sin, our shame, and our failure, because if there’s one thing Christians know about each other, it is that we are all sinners! But the gospel of grace also tells us that we are completely right with God through the death and resurrection of Jesus, that we do not bear the guilt and shame of our sin anymore. Therefore, we can confess our sin and enlist the help of our brothers and sisters in fighting it. We don’t have to pretend to be more righteous than we are, because in Christ we have been made completely righteous.
4. Teach the church about the beauty and purpose of sex.
The Bible contains an entire book (Song of Songs) celebrating the romantic and sexual love between a man and woman. Scripture teaches us that sex was designed by God to be a beautiful act of self-giving between a man and a woman who are bound together in marriage. It creates a spiritual and physical union between a man and woman that is nothing less than a picture of the believer’s spiritual union with Christ (see: Ephesians 5:31-32, 1 Corinthians 6:16-17).
The best way to spot a counterfeit is to know the genuine article intimately. The world is selling porn—isolated, selfish, dehumanizing, often violent—a terrible and soul-destroying counterfeit of what God intended it to be. Sex as God designed it is like a gourmet meal; porn is rat poison with a candy coating. Christians need an understanding of the beauty and power of sex that is so compelling that we would never be satisfied by porn. The church is the only place where that message can be heard.
[1] Source: https://www.restoringheartscounseling.com/2020/12/21/is-porn-addiction-a-problem-in-your-church/
The post How Churches Can Help People Find Freedom from Pornography appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...
