How come God does not take away the lust?

[darktipper]

Why doesn't he? I am trying to remain single forever because I think it would be best for me due to disappointments in the past with being cheated on. I prayed on this matter in the past once before. Some may say that it is in God's will for me to marry but I am not an outgoing person and more of an introvert. Women usually wait for a guy to ask them out but I don't ask any one out and plus I am trying to stay single. Why is it so hard? I remember a member on here said that I am forcing singleness on myself was ungodly but I know that if I was to get with someone it would end in disappointment or I will be a disappointment to the woman. Does God want me to marry? If so why does not he put a neon sign over who people should be with?

 

[PouringRain]

There is nothing wrong with your desire to remain single-- especially at this point in your life when it sounds as though you still have not healed from past relationships. In the future, as you allow God to heal you completely, there may come a time when your mind changes. But there is really no point in even thinking of some unknown, hypothetical future event. At this point you have made a wise decision to remain single.

Use this time to focus on God and to ask him to help heal you of the hurts you have experienced from past relationships. One thing you will need to do is to learn to be able to forgive every woman in your past who has hurt you. Forgiveness doesn't mean that you forget what happened, nor that you allow them to come in and do it again. It means that you release them completely. It is a letting go. When you find that you can pray for them, or that you no longer have any ill wishes towards them, etc. then you will know that you have released them.

Why doesn't God take away the lust? Each of us is born with differing levels of hormones, personality, etc. Biological and inborn things. We are all created in different ways with different talents-- but we are also all given different weaknesses and lots in life to carry. I don't know your age, but one thing to consider is that as you grow older, those biological things that are contributing towards your lust may diminish. (They also may not!) This lust you have should be viewed as a weakness, a thorn in the flesh, at present. It is a trial. Something that you must go through and learn to deal with. Allow yourself to grow through this. Find what things distract you from your lust-- distractions. Keep yourself occupied. Avoid things that fuel lust. Learn to bounce your eyes away from women, and avoid gazing at them. If you find your mind thinking of a woman or of sexual things, then instantly think on something else, like scripture. Fill your mind with the word of God.

Some books you may benefit from:

Challenging the Lies of the Heart - News
That is the website, but there is a book you can buy.
Amazon.com: Every Man's Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time (The Every Man Series) (9780307457974): Stephen Arterburn, Fred Stoeker, Mike Yorkey: Books

Amazon.com: Single, Married, Separated and Life after Divorce (9780768422023): Myles Munroe: Books

 

[Alabaster]

Why doesn't he? I am trying to remain single forever because I think it would be best for me due to disappointments in the past with being cheated on. I prayed on this matter in the past once before. Some may say that it is in God's will for me to marry but I am not an outgoing person and more of an introvert. Women usually wait for a guy to ask them out but I don't ask any one out and plus I am trying to stay single. Why is it so hard? I remember a member on here said that I am forcing singleness on myself was ungodly but I know that if I was to get with someone it would end in disappointment or I will be a disappointment to the woman. Does God want me to marry? If so why does not he put a neon sign over who people should be with?

If God was calling you to celibacy, then you wouldn't find it such a struggle to deny yourself a normal urge.

Your best course would be to spend some serious time with God with your Bible and ask Him to show you what you are to do. Ask God to infuse you with confidence in who you are in Him and in your abilities He has given you. Ask Him to bring you a wife. He will do that, because that is what He does.

He isn't going to remove your sexual desire, but lust is something you are required to overcome with God's help. He tells us to renew our minds, and present our bodies to Him for His use.

 

[JohnEboy1983]

I have questioned my calling also, as to celibacy. I overthought a lot of things. I have finally realized that my calling is not a life of celibacy, even though I am single right now, and that it is just a matter of time before I find the person God has saved me for. Even though Paul says it would be best for everyone to be celibate as he was because you wouldnt face the troubles of marriage, Jesus himself and Paul says that not everybody can do that, or has that gift. Paul says its far better to face all the difficult challenges that marriage has to offer than to remain burning with passion. I really think its safe to say that if you have any sexual desires or any desires to get married, then God has not called you to a life of celibacy. I believe only those who have that gift will be able to go on without and if you are troubled sexually or troubled by having desires for marriage, then celibacy is not for you. You say that you want to remain single because of past dissapointments. Although it is very understandable, it is also a very bad reason to renounce marriage. You say you are more of an introvert, but what does that matter? There are plenty of happily married introverts, or has God called all introverts to a life of celibacy... no way! The thing is, if it is Gods plan for you to be married someday and you are trying to go against that because of past dissapointments then I believe you will be very dissapointed all your life. You are living in fear and although the thought of getting hurt again can be unbearable, we need to have faith in God. God does not call us to walk in fear, but in faith and hope. Many times I have also said the same thing about the neon sign, but where is our faith at? God wants us believe in him even when we cannot see. You need to pray about it and believe that God will not end up letting you hook up with somebody who is not meant for you. Just because God can bring two people together, does not mean that we have to stop working. Marriage is a lot of work, but we can be assured that if we put forth effort, it will work out. I dont believe for one moment that God will lead us to marriage, and he didnt intend it to work out. Put away the doubts, the fears and go after your desires because it may be the gift that God has given to you and wants you to go after. We will live dissapointing and unsastified lives if we live outside what God wants for our lives. I honestly cant believe I am writing all of this because I am the person who was once confused and unsure of things, but God is definitely revealing more things to me everyday, its amazing.

 

[Alabaster]

I have questioned my calling also, as to celibacy. I overthought a lot of things. I have finally realized that my calling is not a life of celibacy, even though I am single right now, and that it is just a matter of time before I find the person God has saved me for. Even though Paul says it would be best for everyone to be celibate as he was because you wouldnt face the troubles of marriage, Jesus himself and Paul says that not everybody can do that, or has that gift. Paul says its far better to face all the difficult challenges that marriage has to offer than to remain burning with passion. I really think its safe to say that if you have any sexual desires or any desires to get married, then God has not called you to a life of celibacy. I believe only those who have that gift will be able to go on without and if you are troubled sexually or troubled by having desires for marriage, then celibacy is not for you. You say that you want to remain single because of past dissapointments. Although it is very understandable, it is also a very bad reason to renounce marriage. You say you are more of an introvert, but what does that matter? There are plenty of happily married introverts, or has God called all introverts to a life of celibacy... no way! The thing is, if it is Gods plan for you to be married someday and you are trying to go against that because of past dissapointments then I believe you will be very dissapointed all your life. You are living in fear and although the thought of getting hurt again can be unbearable, we need to have faith in God. God does not call us to walk in fear, but in faith and hope. Many times I have also said the same thing about the neon sign, but where is our faith at? God wants us believe in him even when we cannot see. You need to pray about it and believe that God will not end up letting you hook up with somebody who is not meant for you. Just because God can bring two people together, does not mean that we have to stop working. Marriage is a lot of work, but we can be assured that if we put forth effort, it will work out. I dont believe for one moment that God will lead us to marriage, and he didnt intend it to work out. Put away the doubts, the fears and go after your desires because it may be the gift that God has given to you and wants you to go after. We will live dissapointing and unsastified lives if we live outside what God wants for our lives. I honestly cant believe I am writing all of this because I am the person who was once confused and unsure of things, but God is definitely revealing more things to me everyday, its amazing.

God bless you for your frank, honest and loving response!

 

[darktipper]

What if God brings you someone but they end up letting you down or leaving you or cheat?