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How Do I Handle a Sibling Rivalry?

Focus on the Family

Focus on the Family
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Sibling rivalries are nothing new and can be quite draining. If you’ve been in this position as a parent, I’m sure you’ve had to navigate different versions or perspectives of fights between siblings. “He did this!” “But she did that!”

When siblings argue, it puts you in a tough spot. Do you become a referee, a judge, or a guide? Different reasons for sibling fights can include insecurities, selfishness, jealousy, feeling left out. Your children need your guidance to learn how to handle sibling fights. Here is a quick tip I have used with my own family called the $1 Technique.

The way it works is that when your children are arguing, you set a timer for 5 minutes. If they are unable to resolve the conflict on their own by the time the timer stops, they have chosen to hire you for $1 per minute to help them resolve it. And the one that is the most inflexible in resolving the conflict is the one in charge of the bill.


One of the most powerful questions to teach your kids to ask themselves is: “Is there another way to look at this?” Teaching your child how to build a flexible mind will grow their levels of humility, while also helping them reach the goal of resolving the conflict within the 5 minutes.

Teach them how to take mental timeouts to figure out what’s making their emotions bubble. Ask them, “what do you think it’s like to be to resolve things with you?”

Explore how building healthy boundaries and maintaining adaptability to bring stability and flexibility in your home. And to learn more about resolving sibling rivalries, check out these resources.

The post How Do I Handle a Sibling Rivalry? appeared first on Focus on the Family.

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