How do I know when it's the right time?

[chrisbow22]

Just a head's up...this is a long one, so thank you in advance!

So it's been a while since I asked a girl out. Probably about 2 years. I've recently met this amazing young woman at my church. I really, really like her... a lot!! I just turned 27 and I'm realizing that I'm not getting any younger and I really want to start courting a girl that I can marry. I've only known her for a couple of months and we've started talking more and more, always in a group setting. I honestly can't stop thinking about her. For the first time in my life, I finally found someone that I want to be with day and night, and when I'm not with her, it hurts. She's just wonderful. Anyway, I am afraid to make a move for a couple of reasons.

One, I haven't known her that long and I don't even know if she's interested in me the same way. Secondly, there's another guy at our church that she used to date. I don't know how he or she still feels about one another and I gotta be honest, I'm very intimidated by that. I've misread girls' signals before, and I don't want to make myself look foolish AGAIN! I was thinking about talking to her best friend to sort of get a feel if this girl is even interested in dating right now. Is that a bad idea? Should I just continue to get to know her in the group settings or try to ask her out casually just the two of us?

I am torn because I really want to just go for it but I can't help but feel like it's too soon. But I also don't want to wait so long that someone else snatches her up. This girl is so worth it, I really want to take my time with it and do it right. I need help getting my mind around some things. I know you don't know me, but I would appreciate prayer. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

 

[handy]

Hey, I met my husband at work....he jammed up the copy machine good and proper and I had to help get it working again...we talked/flirted for about two weeks (yes, as in 14 days or so)...then some mutual friends convinced him to ask me out. He asked me out to lunch early in March...asked me to marry him in August and we were married in February. That was almost 14 years ago and we are still :twolove.

At 27, you are definitely old enough to know your mind. And, there is nothing at all "foolish" in asking a woman out. I know it's hard...but really just take a moment when the group activity is wrapping up and say, "Hey, would you like to go get a cup of coffee or something?" Nothing foolish about that at all. If she's interested she'll either say yes, or if she truly can't do it then will express a certain amount of regret about not being able to do so and you can suggest another time.

But, if you've had a chance to get to know her in a group setting for a couple of months...no, it's not "too soon" to ask her out.

I said this to a young friend of mine just the other day..."It's not love if it's not worth risking the heart."

Go for it.

 

[smile1111]

I would say if you're doubting that it might not be the right time, then it probably isn't and that you should continue to pray about it until God tells you it's right. And if this really is God's plan for you two to be together then you can't worry about someone snatching her up. And call me weird, but I think it's best in the long run to have a friendship first. I know this advice might be a little late, but I hope it helps.

 

[modernnihilst]

Worst thing she would say is "no" so not even painfull.
The only shot you will always miss is the one you dont take.