AS A MOM OF FIVE, I feel as though I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in more than 11 years. My husband is wonderful—and a great dad—but he’s a deep sleeper. Combine sleepless kids with his deep dozes, and it’s a recipe for marital disaster.
In those early years, I’d try to wake him, but most often I was left to care for a crying baby alone. When morning finally dawned, I’d be physically drained and jealous of my husband’s glorious full night of sleep.
As our family continued to grow, I developed an unhealthy way of voicing my frustrations. I’d sarcastically say, “How nice it must be to get a full night’s rest,” or “You better not yawn today.” I’m not sure my husband knew how to respond. And my behavior did nothing to solve my predicament.
I knew I needed to release the hurt and bitterness I was harboring, but I didn’t know how. As I began to seek God more and reflect on the qualities of humility, gentleness and patience from Ephesians 4:2, He gently showed me what I needed to focus on. And it wasn’t my sleepless jealousy.
The Lord also showed me that my husband had limitations—and that was OK. I had my own set of limitations. They just looked different from his. I started seeing with fresh eyes that my husband offered me his best in other areas—things I equally needed and appreciated.
My gratefulness for my husband and my new gentler manner didn’t solve the other half of the problem, how-ever. I needed sleep. After talking it over, we agreed that I could nap in the morning after he was up and I had nursed the baby. Th is small change allowed me to get an extra 20 minutes of sleep—and wow, that helped
Fast-forward 10 years, past my time of sleepless jealousy. I no longer expect my husband to respond to my needs if I don’t voice them. I’ve learned that if I set aside my emotions when I talk with him, he is better able to hear and address the problem. When I stopped drop-ping hints and started discussing my needs and grievances openly, our communication quickly improved.
The post How Sleepless Jealousy Affected My Marriage appeared first on Focus on the Family.
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In those early years, I’d try to wake him, but most often I was left to care for a crying baby alone. When morning finally dawned, I’d be physically drained and jealous of my husband’s glorious full night of sleep.
Hurt feelings
As our family continued to grow, I developed an unhealthy way of voicing my frustrations. I’d sarcastically say, “How nice it must be to get a full night’s rest,” or “You better not yawn today.” I’m not sure my husband knew how to respond. And my behavior did nothing to solve my predicament.
I knew I needed to release the hurt and bitterness I was harboring, but I didn’t know how. As I began to seek God more and reflect on the qualities of humility, gentleness and patience from Ephesians 4:2, He gently showed me what I needed to focus on. And it wasn’t my sleepless jealousy.
The Lord also showed me that my husband had limitations—and that was OK. I had my own set of limitations. They just looked different from his. I started seeing with fresh eyes that my husband offered me his best in other areas—things I equally needed and appreciated.
A much-needed rest
My gratefulness for my husband and my new gentler manner didn’t solve the other half of the problem, how-ever. I needed sleep. After talking it over, we agreed that I could nap in the morning after he was up and I had nursed the baby. Th is small change allowed me to get an extra 20 minutes of sleep—and wow, that helped
Fast-forward 10 years, past my time of sleepless jealousy. I no longer expect my husband to respond to my needs if I don’t voice them. I’ve learned that if I set aside my emotions when I talk with him, he is better able to hear and address the problem. When I stopped drop-ping hints and started discussing my needs and grievances openly, our communication quickly improved.
The post How Sleepless Jealousy Affected My Marriage appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...