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How to deal with being disliked?

ReginaForbes said:
Okay, one of the things I hate is being disliked- yes, this is also coming from the very same loud-mouthed, opinionated, hardcore dragon-slayer. But it's true, it's my passionate heart that gives me the strength to be myself, but it's the very same heart that hurts when I've said something to cause someone to dislike me. I wish I could be one of those people that say all the right words to get my opinion across without offending anyone, but I just don't have that skill. So I wind up offending people, and being disliked. How do I deal with it? What does everyone else do when they're disliked.
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What do I do when I'm being disliked?
First off, I usually get thrown off the forum for a month.
Who knows how many complaints they get before they actually do it.
Next, I sit and sulk for 30 days until I get back on.
Then I'm all lovey dovey for a couple of weeks until the real me can no longer be hidden.

Some people have no problem telling me what they think of me.
And then I am shocked because I never saw it coming.
Does that say something about me?

And then last but not least, I can't stay mad and I end up loving everyone all over again, though I do my best to hide it.
And as for you Regina Forbes, you're okay in my book.
 
Great topic. I was told long ago that, "Birds pick on the sweeties fruits." It was a way of coping with it. I am older now and had to go through teaching my children on how to deal with it all. Really there is no magic or cure all. Humans are unjust to humans.
 
I've had social anxiety for a long time, and my ability to deal with people disliking me veries depending on my mental stability at the time. If I'm working and advancing in my hobbies and have my group of friends I can lean back on and verify that I'm not a piece of crap, I do fine and rebound very quickly or am not effected at all.

However, due to my social anxiety and several other factors ( Long chronic battles with depression and family issues) I can take even light jabbing personal and it effects me deeply. I tend to lash out, but that is usually my frustration and other issues causing me to become unstable. Right now its hard because I spend a lot of time alone and don't have the means to leave and hang out with my friends as I once did. So my depression and anxiety catch up with me and cause me to fall apart and unable to function on all cylinders.

I think a lot of people forget how much we need social acceptance or comradery with either our family or close friends.
 
hallowbonnie said:
The best thing I learned in therapy was to let other people keep their own feelings .I literally envision a box in my mind and me taking certain things out of it and handing it back to the other person .
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I like that. Maybe visualizing things will give my mind something to focus on rather than mulling over the bad parts.
 
Rom 12:14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.
Rom 12:17 Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men.
Rom 12:18 If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
Rom 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
Rom 12:20 Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.
Rom 12:21 Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.
 
ReginaForbes said:
Okay, one of the things I hate is being disliked- yes, this is also coming from the very same loud-mouthed, opinionated, hardcore dragon-slayer. But it's true, it's my passionate heart that gives me the strength to be myself, but it's the very same heart that hurts when I've said something to cause someone to dislike me. I wish I could be one of those people that say all the right words to get my opinion across without offending anyone, but I just don't have that skill. So I wind up offending people, and being disliked. How do I deal with it? What does everyone else do when they're disliked.
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I saw this comic on FB the other day, it said something about how when I was younger I walked into a room and wondered who didn't like me, when I got older, I walk into a room and I think about who I don't like. :lol
 
Old Buddhist proverb, with practical life advice that I try to apply to my life: "If a person offers you a gift, and you don't accept it, to whom does the gift belong?" In other words, as we say in West Virginia, "I ain't buying what you're selling!"

Folks dislike me too, even people who I used to really care for. Its over things I can't help... I yam who I yam. Take it or leave it. My happiness will no longer be dependent on whether or not I receive external validation concerning my personality... My happiness will be in tact because I choose this day to be happy. I'm no less a functional person because they wanted sweet tea and I'm 100 proof.

You're not an undesirable Regina, you're 100 proof! Don't dilute yourself on account of someone who can't handle you. Some of us would rather have the strength of Jack Daniels than the muted comforts of Earl Grey.
 
Great post, Blake! It reminded me of Paul's wisdom when he penned this verse:

Galatians 1:10 Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.

How true it is, people in this world are rewarded for their obedience and conformity to men, these are temporary, shallow comforts (money, power, glorification by men), these are the treasures we store up here on earth that will rot and decay. Pleasing God, obeying His voice, will cause people to dislike us, but these will be stored up and never see rot, eternal treasures to glorify God.

As we carry the Light of Christ, people will be drawn to us, but in the same way, just as polar opposites, some people will be detracted away from us. What business does the light have to do with the darkness, but only to illuminate what is hidden and people don't like to bare what is in their shadows.

Keep moving on! You are a daughter of God Most High! Wonderfully made!

God bless!
 
The way I deal with being disliked is to see it as prophecy fulfilled. Basically, as a sign that I'm on the right track, lol. Scripture says the world will hate you when you walk with Christ, so when they do it's no surprise.

I like you regina. Dragonslayer and all, lol. Your spirit is a strong spirit, and that's seriously respectable. There are those who hide behind scripture instead of speaking from the heart, in effort to not be disliked. I think they feel they can still get their message out, but in a way that people can not say anything or pose questions. I get it, and...that's ok I guess to an extent, but God didn't say let His light shine before men, He said let your light shine before men.

This means speaking from the heart, which you do. It's still scripture inasmuch as the Word affects you and changes your spirit into one walking in it, (your own re-newing process which is going on), then that spirit speaks...the DragonSlayer spirit! Yeppers, little wonder people dislike you, and it's for this reason. That's...bold, that's not politically correct, that's in your face because it shines. You just keep on doing what you're doing, sister. :)

Many have poor perception or weak spirits. Having eyes but they can not see. So they don't understand. People fear and dislike what they don't understand. Bless you sister!
 
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