- Dec 20, 2019
- 3,772
- 115
Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
My empty nest syndrome started with an empty bedroom. I stared at the blank walls with gut wrenching sadness. My son’s clothes and belonging packed in cardboard boxes strewn around the room.
The memories of my son as a little boy running up and down the halls of our home flooded my mind. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop the memories from coming, each happy memory triggering more tears than the last. Curled up in a ball on his sheet stripped bed, I came to grips with the reality my son would never live under our roof again.
Although we were happy he was going to college, I began to question my purpose. Questions plagued my mind: How will I navigate this empty nest syndrome? Can I revitalize my relationship with God? How will I relate to my husband (and God) with this new gap in my life?
As parents our lives change drastically the minute our children enter the world. Our eyes fill with happy tears as we hold our babies for the first time, and our schedules, time and resources shift as our priorities change. For the first few years of our children’s lives, we put ourselves second as we put our kids’ needs, wants, and desires ahead of our own.
As they enter the teens, however, that all changes. Our children stop needing us as they become busy with friends, significant others, and work and soon the same kids that occupied all of our time and with us every moment of the day are now nowhere to be found.
Once they graduate high school, kids focus their minds on college. Once they enter college, parents ask themselves the same questions I asked above. Parents’ time, resources, and priorities shift back to themselves. However, they find themselves not knowing who they are or how to navigate their relationship with God or with their spouse because of this new change in life.
But it doesn’t have to be this way, there is faith and hope to discover in the empty nest season. The empty nest doesn’t have to be a change that fills our minds with dread, but rather a time they can navigate with hope and revitalize their relationship with God. But how does a parent do that when they’ve spent all their time caring for their children?
According to Acenda Health.org, “Empty Nest Syndrome is a psychological condition that brings on feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and grief. Additionally, some parents may turn to substances or other negative behaviors to cope with these feelings of sadness. According to Mindful Health Solutions, 25% of parents will experience Empty Nest Syndrome.”1
The empty nest may make parents feel lonely, grief stricken and grasping for meaning in life. They may feel like a piece of themselves has died and worry they may never find happiness again. Yet, God wants us to put our trust in him so that he can give us true meaning and purpose in life.
Solidify your identity in God
Solidifying your identity as a child of God carries more freedom than anything else. If you are having difficulty finding your identity in God, search the Scriptures for all the references of who you are in Christ.
Write them on an index card and place them in prominent places around your home. Remind yourself of these verses each morning as you get up and each evening before you go to bed. Use these verses to renew your mind and place your identity in God rather than in your role as a parent.
Parents who grieve too long about their role as caregivers may miss what God has for the second act of their lives. Because their kids are gone does not mean God is done with them. We can live well as an empty nester.
God may have great things for them to do, not only with their spouse but also individually because they have more time to devote to God. Brainstorm and think about the passions you have. Think of some things you’ve always wanted to do that you haven’t been able to because of having kids. Make a list of things that you’d like to do but have never gotten the chance to do.
Ask God to provide the resources, time, and money for you to do these things. Additionally, you may want to go back to school to pursue another degree or a completely different occupation. Additionally, if you were a stay-at-home mom, you may want to pursue one of your own passions. This might be a great time for you to spend time taking classes and pursuing something you love.
When you adjust to not having children around, you may find you really enjoy pursuing your own passions both individually and with your spouse.
As parents, we read our bibles, go to church, and pray but often they are not for long periods of time. Not having kids around may give you more time to spend a long duration of time with God. You might be able to take a spiritual retreat for a whole weekend, a silent retreat for a day or any other form of extended time with God. This will refresh your soul in ways you’ve never dreamed. Ask friends and family how they spend their time with God then seek to do those things.
As you spend time with God, you will learn to discern his voice and obey him. As you learn to become more in tune with God’s voice, you will find your relationship with God deepen. This will increase your intimacy with God, and it will allow you to grow as a mature person of faith.
An empty nest is not something we need to look upon with dread. Instead, navigate your empty nest with hope. Although it may cause some sadness as you grieve the loss of that chapter of your life, God may want to open a new chapter that is more enriching than ever before.
Spend time with God, let him define your purpose and solidify your identity in Him. When you’re able to do those things, not only will you find you feel freer emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, but you may have a new lease on life.
Your adult children and your spouse will greatly benefit if you are able to do these things, and you may find an empty nest is the best nest after all.
The post How to Revitalize Your Relationship with God While Navigating Empty Nest Syndrome appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...
My empty nest syndrome started with an empty bedroom. I stared at the blank walls with gut wrenching sadness. My son’s clothes and belonging packed in cardboard boxes strewn around the room.
The memories of my son as a little boy running up and down the halls of our home flooded my mind. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop the memories from coming, each happy memory triggering more tears than the last. Curled up in a ball on his sheet stripped bed, I came to grips with the reality my son would never live under our roof again.
Although we were happy he was going to college, I began to question my purpose. Questions plagued my mind: How will I navigate this empty nest syndrome? Can I revitalize my relationship with God? How will I relate to my husband (and God) with this new gap in my life?
Finding God’s purpose in the empty nest season
As parents our lives change drastically the minute our children enter the world. Our eyes fill with happy tears as we hold our babies for the first time, and our schedules, time and resources shift as our priorities change. For the first few years of our children’s lives, we put ourselves second as we put our kids’ needs, wants, and desires ahead of our own.
As they enter the teens, however, that all changes. Our children stop needing us as they become busy with friends, significant others, and work and soon the same kids that occupied all of our time and with us every moment of the day are now nowhere to be found.
Once they graduate high school, kids focus their minds on college. Once they enter college, parents ask themselves the same questions I asked above. Parents’ time, resources, and priorities shift back to themselves. However, they find themselves not knowing who they are or how to navigate their relationship with God or with their spouse because of this new change in life.
But it doesn’t have to be this way, there is faith and hope to discover in the empty nest season. The empty nest doesn’t have to be a change that fills our minds with dread, but rather a time they can navigate with hope and revitalize their relationship with God. But how does a parent do that when they’ve spent all their time caring for their children?
Empty Nest Syndrome
According to Acenda Health.org, “Empty Nest Syndrome is a psychological condition that brings on feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and grief. Additionally, some parents may turn to substances or other negative behaviors to cope with these feelings of sadness. According to Mindful Health Solutions, 25% of parents will experience Empty Nest Syndrome.”1
The empty nest may make parents feel lonely, grief stricken and grasping for meaning in life. They may feel like a piece of themselves has died and worry they may never find happiness again. Yet, God wants us to put our trust in him so that he can give us true meaning and purpose in life.
Ways to revitalize your relationship with God while navigating the empty nest syndrome with hope:
Solidify your identity in God
Solidifying your identity as a child of God carries more freedom than anything else. If you are having difficulty finding your identity in God, search the Scriptures for all the references of who you are in Christ.
Write them on an index card and place them in prominent places around your home. Remind yourself of these verses each morning as you get up and each evening before you go to bed. Use these verses to renew your mind and place your identity in God rather than in your role as a parent.
Let God define your purpose
Parents who grieve too long about their role as caregivers may miss what God has for the second act of their lives. Because their kids are gone does not mean God is done with them. We can live well as an empty nester.
God may have great things for them to do, not only with their spouse but also individually because they have more time to devote to God. Brainstorm and think about the passions you have. Think of some things you’ve always wanted to do that you haven’t been able to because of having kids. Make a list of things that you’d like to do but have never gotten the chance to do.
Ask God to provide the resources, time, and money for you to do these things. Additionally, you may want to go back to school to pursue another degree or a completely different occupation. Additionally, if you were a stay-at-home mom, you may want to pursue one of your own passions. This might be a great time for you to spend time taking classes and pursuing something you love.
When you adjust to not having children around, you may find you really enjoy pursuing your own passions both individually and with your spouse.
Spend real time with God
As parents, we read our bibles, go to church, and pray but often they are not for long periods of time. Not having kids around may give you more time to spend a long duration of time with God. You might be able to take a spiritual retreat for a whole weekend, a silent retreat for a day or any other form of extended time with God. This will refresh your soul in ways you’ve never dreamed. Ask friends and family how they spend their time with God then seek to do those things.
As you spend time with God, you will learn to discern his voice and obey him. As you learn to become more in tune with God’s voice, you will find your relationship with God deepen. This will increase your intimacy with God, and it will allow you to grow as a mature person of faith.
An empty nest is not something we need to look upon with dread. Instead, navigate your empty nest with hope. Although it may cause some sadness as you grieve the loss of that chapter of your life, God may want to open a new chapter that is more enriching than ever before.
Spend time with God, let him define your purpose and solidify your identity in Him. When you’re able to do those things, not only will you find you feel freer emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, but you may have a new lease on life.
Your adult children and your spouse will greatly benefit if you are able to do these things, and you may find an empty nest is the best nest after all.
The post How to Revitalize Your Relationship with God While Navigating Empty Nest Syndrome appeared first on Focus on the Family.
Continue reading...
