Human Companionship (Is God inadequate for us?)

[Znex]

Such a controversial title above could be subject enough, but allow me to explain myself.

As a semi-young Christian, the theology I adopted from my Christian upbringing is still undergoing testing; whether it be from my own queries into it, from others' queries, and simply just from the challenges and tests God sends my way day by day.

For a good while, with the Lord's guidance and not my own (I pray and seek), I have prayed, hoped and sought for a female partner on my path who might eventually come to be my wife and so companion on my journey. At the same time, I've struggled with the thought that God may not intend for me to have a wife.

Along this pattern of thought, I've sought too for any possible answers to the question of if I should seek or not within books and on the net.

Some of these responses have led me to be drawn back to Genesis 2, where occurs the initialisation of marriage as a part of human life. Yet as I read over again and again, the question has occurred to me of why humans should need other humans (I again think particularly of a single human of the opposite gender as opposed to multiple humans) as companions and helpers.

The question is particularly poignant as I think back on God's will for whether I should seek or not; if not, then my life is all the more focused on him, and he is all the more my companion and helper. If I should seek, then my eyes are divided. It seems to me like it should be a bad thing, but I know marriage can be very good; not only from the Bible, but from observation.

Why is it good that our attention should be divided between God and another? Surely the Lord is the best companion and helper in all the heavens and on earth?

 

[Danus]

The question is particularly poignant as I think back on God's will for whether I should seek or not; if not, then my life is all the more focused on him, and he is all the more my companion and helper. If I should seek, then my eyes are divided. It seems to me like it should be a bad thing, but I know marriage can be very good; not only from the Bible, but from observation. Why is it good that our attention should be divided between God and another? Surely the Lord is the best companion and helper in all the heavens and on earth?

Well your last part is very true. God is the best companion and helper, and should be our first. However, it makes perfect sense, and by his design that we should have a mate, but it's also not absolutely necessary.

I suppose we could make this a theological question, but in doing so we could not only find many scriptures for marriage, but also for remaining single. Then, if we are not careful, which we probably won't be, we will end up with an either or stance, which is kind of where you seem to be on this.

I think you should consider both ideas. First a relationship with God. Second a relationship with a mate.

So rather than drop a bunch of scripture on you I'd rather speak from my own experiences, as a man, as a non-Christian and now a Christian. I have been married twice. I am married now, going on 14 years. Prior to a solid relationship with God, I had relationships with women seeking, I think, much of what I actually find in my relationship with God.

My wife is a Christian. I am a Christian. We both have a relationship with God first individually, and second as a married couple. I am more studious in my relationship with God. My wife is not, but our love for God shows in our character, in our lives together and individually. We are the same, but different, but we have been blessed by God as a couple. We have two kids and even though we face some of the same problems any couple faces, we get through them in our relationship with God. Whereas in my previous relationships with women when I did not have a solid relationship with God, we just broke up and looked for someone "better", not understanding that there wasn't anyone any better, but God.

So I understand your desire for a woman as a mate, a partner, a helper. God certainly understands you and He supports you in this, BUT your relationship with Him comes first if you want Him to bless your desire. That's what you will find in scripture as well in regards to a relationship with others.

 

[Znex]

I suppose we could make this a theological question, but in doing so we could not only find many scriptures for marriage, but also for remaining single. Then, if we are not careful, which we probably won't be, we will end up with an either or stance, which is kind of where you seem to be on this.

Oh, don't get me wrong; I realise that my relationship with God is the first and most important relationship both in marriage and out of marriage. Forgive me, for I was looking partly to 1 Cor. 7 for wording, where it does say "An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—and his interests are divided." (1 Cor. 7:32b-34a HSBC)

 

[Danus]

The whole of Chapter 7 in 1 Corinthians is about marriage. why does that one verse stand out so much for you? Paul points out that there is no sin in marriage. He points out the sanctity of marriage, the need, the importance and the desire.

Just because someone is married doe not mean that they desire the world more than God. It does not place them in less in standing with God vs someone not married, but it does, in some ways, place a burden on them that the unmarried do not have. You can look at it in one of two ways. The extra burden that is brought on with a relationship could draw someone closer to God, or it could draw them closer to the world, but that will depend on their relationship with God first. In the case of this group in Corinth, they faced as much or more, cultural temptations as we might today. I might argue we face more today. However, Paul is not diminishing marriage, but holding it up.

He is single. That works for Paul. He thinks that's better and he's endorsing it. So what? Don't get me wrong. I love Paul, but I don't follow Paul. I follow Christ. Christ was also single, but He did not discourage marriage, he endorses the idea and in fact our relationship with Him is seen as such.

Human marriage is a great model for the relationship with the Christ and the church. There is no either or on this as right or wrong, better or worse.

Do I disagree with Paul that it is better to be single than married? Yes. For me that is, but I've no problem with what Paul is saying. Catch me on a day when I've about had it with my wife and I might agree more with Paul :D But I love her very much. I am reminded that I am to love her as Christ loves the church. Any argument I might have with her brings me closer to God in this way. It is my purpose to be married, not Paul's.

 

[Znex]

The whole of Chapter 7 in 1 Corinthians is about marriage. why does that one verse stand out so much for you? Paul points out that there is no sin in marriage. He points out the sanctity of marriage, the need, the importance and the desire.

Just because someone is married doe not mean that they desire the world more than God. It does not place them in less in standing with God vs someone not married, but it does, in some ways, place a burden on them that the unmarried do not have. You can look at it in one of two ways. The extra burden that is brought on with a relationship could draw someone closer to God, or it could draw them closer to the world, but that will depend on their relationship with God first. In the case of this group in Corinth, they faced as much or more, cultural temptations as we might today. I might argue we face more today. However, Paul is not diminishing marriage, but holding it up.

He is single. That works for Paul. He thinks that's better and he's endorsing it. So what? Don't get me wrong. I love Paul, but I don't follow Paul. I follow Christ. Christ was also single, but He did not discourage marriage, he endorses the idea and in fact our relationship with Him is seen as such.

Human marriage is a great model for the relationship with the Christ and the church.

Hmm, okay. I think I understand.

Sorry about all the fuss and thanks for your answers. :p