I do NOT Understand Males

[Surviving]

(I hope this is in the right category. I didn't know where else to put it)



There is so much that I do not understand about males. One particular thing that is bothering me ‘today’ is something someone told me once. Please take in mind that he is a strict Christian.

He says that it is ok to touch himself without another person’s knowledge that he is talking to (either online or in real. I will give examples). He says that this is ok because it is not done for the point of orgasm.

Example 1.
He and another lady are talking. They are discussing various sexual things (not cyber) but sexual talk in general. Whilst talking, he is touching himself. Stroking I guess would be the best way to describe it. The lady has no knowledge of this and is happily talking away.

(a) I find this firstly to be rude and inconsiderate
(b) I do not understand why he has to do it

When I asked why he does it and my views that it is rude and inconsiderate, he said all sorts of things, but the main reason he used was that it was ok was because he was not doing it with the intent to orgasm. That there was no reason to let the other party know that he was doing that. He then went on to say this example was ok:

Example 2.
He and his wife are sitting on the couch watching the TV. He can see down her top. He gets aroused. Or he is watching TV and something gets his attention and he gets aroused. He then would touch himself (say under a blanket) without the wife’s knowledge and this is acceptable because he is thinking of his wife or partner at the time. And if he sees something on the TV that arouses him, he is not thinking of that person but relating it to his wife.

My issue is this:


Is it something that I just simply do not understand about males? Is this normal behaviour?

Is it ok to touch oneself while talking to another without their knowledge or acceptance? Is it ok to touch himself and then say that because it was not for the intent for orgasm that it makes it all ok?

Now he says that it doesn’t matter because he has stopped that, but I honestly feel that he is just saying that to pacify me.

Do I just have no idea where males are concerned??

Blessings,
Surviving

 

[BEI491962]

First of all, it isn't ok.

Matthew 5:28-- But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Sorry, but I have to say that there is no way that you can be touching yourself without having any type of sexual desire for another. And, in this case, it is obvious that desire is coming from his lust for the woman (After all, if it wasn't then he wouldn't be feeling that way).

It's true that all people have sexual desires-- No one is saying that you shouldn't have them, because that's how God made you. At one point in time, we all have immoral thoughts but the important thing is knowing how to deal with them in the right manner.

Some ways, though, aren't appropriate. I've learned that first hand. I wish I could sit here and say, "I'm perfect!" but I'm not as I have made my fair share of mistakes and occasionally do continue to make mistakes. However, it's just one of those things I struggle with day in and day out that, with God's help, I know that I will fully be able to control and overcome them-- But you have to make the effort to do it in a Godly way (I hope I worded that so it didn't sound too bad).

Of course, it's a totally different story when you try to justify it when it blatantly contradicts the Word of God.

Oh, and it's not all men that are like that. It just happens to be the ones you meet ;)

 

[aiki]

Surviving:

I'd like to know why on earth you are talking to this guy about his masturbatory habits. No "strict Christian guy" I know would ever enter into a discussion of such sexual things with a woman who was not his wife. That this fellow went into specific detail as to his masturbatory practices with you strongly suggests that he is not actually a "strict Christian guy". The next time he tries to have such a discussion with you punch him in the nose for me.

The behaviour of your friend is not normal as far as I'm concerned. The guy sounds like a pervert to me.

In Christ, Aiki.

 

[Blazin Bones]

Simple answer to the point. No it is not alright.

If your touching yourself, there's a good chance it may be out of Lust.

I'm a male, and I'm sorry about the picture some men portray of us. While the gentlemen breed is dwindling, there are still a few left. I just hope that the way I live show those I meet that I'm worthy of that title as well. 8-)

 

[Surviving]

Thankyou for your replies. And I shouldn't have been talking about it in the first place. I'm still so new at learning all the do's and don'ts about Christianity and it was probably me who mentioned something about 'men' and what they do to annoy me in the first place that started the conversation.

But I am glad that I asked, even if it made me seem..silly

 

[another dave]

that is why

it is so necessary

for two people


to devote


themselves


to EACH

other


in holy


matrimony

before




GOD

 

[shaitiger]

Yeah this guy is straight up weird. If your wife isn't touching you, no one should be including yourself. Have mercy this world is crazy.

 

[Scott]

He says that this is ok because it is not done for the point of orgasm.

What is his point then?

Is this normal behaviour?

Uhhh... no!!

Now he says that it doesn’t matter because he has stopped that

From the sounds of it, it seems having said that he does have a problem or concern regarding it.

Do I just have no idea where males are concerned??

I don't think its a good idea to analyze a gender as a whole. Everybody is different.

 

[Gendou Ikari]

I'm a male, and I'm sorry about the picture some men portray of us. While the gentlemen breed is dwindling, there are still a few left. I just hope that the way I live show those I meet that I'm worthy of that title as well.

Yeah, there are lots and lots of men who are idiots. Unfortunately, some women take these people and apply their behavior to the whole male gender.

 

[GundamZero]

What's up with these dopes.

And what kind of Christian would act this way.

And, goodness, why did the subject even come up?

 

[Scott]

There are many messed up individuals out there but its important not to generalize a whole gender based on bad experience. All women aren't the same and all men aren't the same. Sometimes it seems like they are but usually those kinds of people broadcast tell-tale signs that are apparent right away.