[__ Prayer __] I keep messing up - need prayer

[StickwithJesus]

I'm going to try and keep this short, but if you want more information feel free to send me a message or e-mail.

To give you some background information as a start; I've been home-schooled since I was a young child and around the age of twelve I started teaching myself because my parents were too busy to teach me. I spent a lot of time being afraid, being blamed and yelled at and I probably deserved it and I don't blame my parents.

Around the age of sixteen I started dealing with the issues I had as a kid; but as my parents stopped telling me about God when I was around ten or so it came out in an ugly way; I started cutting myself and looking for ways to kill myself.

After a period of hating myself, I started going to church and then God found me.

Anyway, the issue I'm struggling with at the moment is friendships and relationships.

Everytime I get into a situation where someone wants to be my friend, I'll sabotage the friendship by saying something really weird or obscene in order to prevent them from knowing me further. I was always made to feel stupid and worthless when I was younger (Unintentionally) and so I find that the best way to avoid being hurt is to avoid friendship

Another problem which I'm ashamed to talk about is how I reacted when a girl became interested in me. For about six months I was an unstable emotional drama queen, threatening to hurt/kill myself if she didn't love me. The funny part for me is that I didn't realize the sin in my ways back then; I just acted and regretted.

Now I'm just flat-out amazed that God loves considering how worthless I act and behave.

This week and last week a woman who was about 31 kept flirting with me in church. (I'm 18) so I lied and told her that I was interested in a girl who turned out to be six years younger than me. In this story I said how I thought the girl was about my age, but how it turned out she was younger. I asked for prayer.

Today I felt really bad about that and I sent an e-mail back to the woman explaining the lie.

Anyway I don't know what is wrong with me; I want God to fix me and make me normal so I don't have to feel so ashamed anymore

Any prayer would be cool, or a response so I know i'm not alone

 

[jruner]

I am praying for you and asking in christian concern for you, that you consider christian counseling. God created you and you are seeking His guidance that is what I had to do myself. I too struggled with similar situations as a young adult and I pray that you will continue to ask for the healing love of Christ.

Matthew 9:35 "And Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, and preaching the gospel of the kingdom and healing every sickness and every disease among the people"

May God bless you and heal you in all ways!

John

 

[Tina]

I spent a lot of time being afraid, being blamed and yelled at and I probably deserved it and I don't blame my parents.

I started cutting myself and looking for ways to kill myself.

After a period of hating myself, I started going to church and then God found me.

I was always made to feel stupid and worthless when I was younger (Unintentionally) and so I find that the best way to avoid being hurt is to avoid friendship

Sweetheart, how did you end up as such an emotional wreck ? :o

I am stumped for words and not sure where to begin. You not only need major counselling and psychological help but more importantly, deliverance from all this awful baggages that are dragging you down emotionally and spiritually. Only the power of Christ can help you with that.

For starters, please stop blaming yourself for what your parents did to you. They yelled at you, blamed you, made you feel stupid, worthless and afraid. I don't believe any child regardless of behavior or condition deserves to be treated that way at all.

So let's start by stop blaming yourself and hating yourself. I am very happy that you came to this forum to seek prayers and advise.

You have found God and I am so proud and happy for you. The healing process may take a while but hang in there, dude. God has not given you a spirit of fear but of power, love and sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7). Claim and declare this Word of God over yourself. You are of power, love and sound mind , NOT fear.

As the Word says, fear is a spirit , a mean spirit , that torments and paralyses. That mean spirit is affecting your friendships and relationships as well as how you view and look at yourself. You are created in the image of God and you should be proud of yourself, not hate and look down at yourself.

In the name of Jesus Christ, I command the spirit of fear to let go of you and depart from you !

Another problem which I'm ashamed to talk about is how I reacted when a girl became interested in me. For about six months I was an unstable emotional drama queen, threatening to hurt/kill myself if she didn't love me.

You are lonely and longing to be loved, at the same time are afraid of getting hurt and abused. I don't think this is the right time to be involved in a relationship until you are emotionally and spiritually stable.

Anyway I don't know what is wrong with me; I want God to fix me and make me normal so I don't have to feel so ashamed anymore

And God will fix you and heal you. God will grant the desires of your heart. Shame and fear should have no place in a believer's life and God will deliver you if you'll let Him. Pray and ask God to heal and deliver you. Talk to God frankly like you'd talk to a friend. Also talk to your pastor and have your church uphold you and cover you in prayers. There's no short cut to this and spending time in prayers in a perfect start that will lead you to ultimate deliverance and breakthroughs that you are seeking.

 

[Scootaloo]

You told a cougar that you were a pedophile? Not the way you should have reacted...

But hey, at least you're going to church!

That can't be a bad thing. The more time you spend there, the better your relationship with God will be. Ask Jesus to take you up into His heart, and all of your troubles will melt away.