Z
zay
Guest
I thought I was heading north,
in the end, I headed west
since I felt it was time for change
thought I had nothing left
it's funny, I never predicted this
in these times, I didn't know myself
didn't know who was near me, or in the midst
I sat down on the grass
searching for answers, I looked towards the trees
Lord, help me find my way
and I looked towards the sky, then kneeled on one knee
I began to plea,
was outside my bearing
but suddenly had a ray of resolution
it was time to leave this place,
it was here, I felt my journey began
I needed a place to land,
and decided to leave everything I knew
told friends, family
I bid farewell
a road trip was in order
it was time to rest for a spell
it was time to leave the chair
self-doubt, expectations, individual theft
now it was time to give back to myself
everything happened in a blur
all I remember was them wishing me well
angry, concerned, hurt that I left,
but gave me heart-felt wishes
was almost like a birthday,
but instead of celebrating, another year of life
it was time to say the g-word, no, we don't do that
we say see you later, won't say goodbye
I found myself staring at the ocean
I sipped a pepsi, my old favorite drink
I threw it down and searched for a coffee
I never had one of those, now it was time
this was the beginning of the trip, new life
I smelt the aroma, and felt bold
I felt the warmth, but still felt cold
a chill suddenly swept over me,
I put it down and looked out towards sea
nothing out there, nothing
I looked inside, I felt nothing
I thought of the pain, challenges previously tackled
but the pains of the heart, were more than I could handle
the side glances of coldness for no reason
just made me buckle, the pain of treason
I sat and watched life go by,
let myself be buckled in the chair
in the end it wasn't them, it was me
I made the choice to be affected, allowed my own suffering
I looked at the sea, and realized
how could it benefit anyone, locked up, and ensnared
I can't stop being who I am
and I remembered, before anyone else did, He loved, and cared
I looked beyond everything, deep inside myself
and found what was in me, who is in me, is still the same
I thought of family, of friends
I knew then, this wasn't the way it should end
I had to go back,
it's better than living like this, and besides,
I wanted to leave the chair and not them
on the way back
I figured it out
that what I wanted was for the taking
didn't have to live in a shell, self-doubt
I felt the cool breeze of peace
as I now understood the scripture, he who is free, is free indeed
I finally felt resolution, as I breathed in the air
and decided to finally leave it all behind,
as I looked around, I saw obstacles once again
but this time, I felt God's peace, strength
and I breathed in the cool air one more time
didn't look back again, I was renewed inside
closed my eyes, and thanked the Lord, for new life
I left the chair behind
in the end, I headed west
since I felt it was time for change
thought I had nothing left
it's funny, I never predicted this
in these times, I didn't know myself
didn't know who was near me, or in the midst
I sat down on the grass
searching for answers, I looked towards the trees
Lord, help me find my way
and I looked towards the sky, then kneeled on one knee
I began to plea,
was outside my bearing
but suddenly had a ray of resolution
it was time to leave this place,
it was here, I felt my journey began
I needed a place to land,
and decided to leave everything I knew
told friends, family
I bid farewell
a road trip was in order
it was time to rest for a spell
it was time to leave the chair
self-doubt, expectations, individual theft
now it was time to give back to myself
everything happened in a blur
all I remember was them wishing me well
angry, concerned, hurt that I left,
but gave me heart-felt wishes
was almost like a birthday,
but instead of celebrating, another year of life
it was time to say the g-word, no, we don't do that
we say see you later, won't say goodbye
I found myself staring at the ocean
I sipped a pepsi, my old favorite drink
I threw it down and searched for a coffee
I never had one of those, now it was time
this was the beginning of the trip, new life
I smelt the aroma, and felt bold
I felt the warmth, but still felt cold
a chill suddenly swept over me,
I put it down and looked out towards sea
nothing out there, nothing
I looked inside, I felt nothing
I thought of the pain, challenges previously tackled
but the pains of the heart, were more than I could handle
the side glances of coldness for no reason
just made me buckle, the pain of treason
I sat and watched life go by,
let myself be buckled in the chair
in the end it wasn't them, it was me
I made the choice to be affected, allowed my own suffering
I looked at the sea, and realized
how could it benefit anyone, locked up, and ensnared
I can't stop being who I am
and I remembered, before anyone else did, He loved, and cared
I looked beyond everything, deep inside myself
and found what was in me, who is in me, is still the same
I thought of family, of friends
I knew then, this wasn't the way it should end
I had to go back,
it's better than living like this, and besides,
I wanted to leave the chair and not them
on the way back
I figured it out
that what I wanted was for the taking
didn't have to live in a shell, self-doubt
I felt the cool breeze of peace
as I now understood the scripture, he who is free, is free indeed
I finally felt resolution, as I breathed in the air
and decided to finally leave it all behind,
as I looked around, I saw obstacles once again
but this time, I felt God's peace, strength
and I breathed in the cool air one more time
didn't look back again, I was renewed inside
closed my eyes, and thanked the Lord, for new life
I left the chair behind