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I need help

mccgab08

Member
I am scared of going to hell but I don’t know if I believe in Jesus anymore. For context I’m a teenager and I have grown up christian. My Great Grandfather is a pastor, my grandparents grew up christian, and so did my dad. My mother grew up catholic. My parents don’t go to church really (they only go for like Easter, Christmas, and like Mother’s day) so my grandparents always take me. Well I would say around 7th grade I started believing less in God and Jesus I’m currently about to start my Junior year of high school. I cuss, lie once in a while, and I watch shows like Bridgerton, Grey’s anatomy, and Shameless (shows with sexy stuff in it). I pray over my food at dinner and I pray before bed though I will say that when I pray it is just the same thing as the night before. I used ro read my Bible but I don’t really anymore. I listen to music with explicit lyrics (like Taylor Swift, Cardi B, Sabrina Carpenter, etc.) Now I know this isn’t good and I am most likely what people refer to as a lukewarm Christian. I feel bad and I want to grow closer to God but I don’t want to give those things up and I know I should. I just don’t know what to do. I’m on the christian side of TikTok but is also mixed with like other popular trendy stuff. I also have some gay friends I am an ally. Is ok if I support the LQBTQ+ community? I also am pro-choice but that is as much as I get into politics. I used to be very conservative in middle school and I am raised in a very conservative household also (very big Trump supporters) I hide away my thoughts though as I don’t want to cause fights, disappointment, or upset my family especially my grandma. Also my parents know I have gay friends and my dad is pro abortion just because he believes some people should not have kids. My grandparents also do not know any of this. They don’t know I watch these shows, listen to this kind of music, that I still cuss, and I lie as much as I do. They also don’t know I have gay friends or that I am pro-choice. My grandparents know I have cussed before because I have slipped up in front of them a couple of times and I have lied to my grandmother once. Other than that though my grandparents especially my grandma think I am a perfect little christian girl. Ok so past all that I know Jesus is coming back and I’m scared of going to hell but I don’t know if I am to stuck in sin that I can’t get out. I do ask for forgiveness every night when I pray but the I go back to sinning the very next day. I also hold some values the same as other christians such as saving myself for marriage like I haven’t even had my first kiss yet. I’m also scared of the fact that Jesus is coming back because there are so many things I would like to do before I die such as travel, maybe live in Ireland ( I fell in love with it after discovering my favorite actress is from there), fall in live, get married, and have kids. I dont want to die young I want to die old and I really want to become a mother one day, I love kids. Also can some please explain to me on what will happen when Jesus comes back. Like if we make it to Heaven will we be there forever or will God make a new world the put us back down here? So overall I don’t know what to do and so I came on here for advice and answers.
 
I am scared of going to hell but I don’t know if I believe in Jesus anymore. For context I’m a teenager and I have grown up christian. My Great Grandfather is a pastor, my grandparents grew up christian, and so did my dad. My mother grew up catholic. My parents don’t go to church really (they only go for like Easter, Christmas, and like Mother’s day) so my grandparents always take me. Well I would say around 7th grade I started believing less in God and Jesus I’m currently about to start my Junior year of high school. I cuss, lie once in a while, and I watch shows like Bridgerton, Grey’s anatomy, and Shameless (shows with sexy stuff in it). I pray over my food at dinner and I pray before bed though I will say that when I pray it is just the same thing as the night before. I used ro read my Bible but I don’t really anymore. I listen to music with explicit lyrics (like Taylor Swift, Cardi B, Sabrina Carpenter, etc.) Now I know this isn’t good and I am most likely what people refer to as a lukewarm Christian. I feel bad and I want to grow closer to God but I don’t want to give those things up and I know I should. I just don’t know what to do. I’m on the christian side of TikTok but is also mixed with like other popular trendy stuff. I also have some gay friends I am an ally. Is ok if I support the LQBTQ+ community? I also am pro-choice but that is as much as I get into politics. I used to be very conservative in middle school and I am raised in a very conservative household also (very big Trump supporters) I hide away my thoughts though as I don’t want to cause fights, disappointment, or upset my family especially my grandma. Also my parents know I have gay friends and my dad is pro abortion just because he believes some people should not have kids. My grandparents also do not know any of this. They don’t know I watch these shows, listen to this kind of music, that I still cuss, and I lie as much as I do. They also don’t know I have gay friends or that I am pro-choice. My grandparents know I have cussed before because I have slipped up in front of them a couple of times and I have lied to my grandmother once. Other than that though my grandparents especially my grandma think I am a perfect little christian girl. Ok so past all that I know Jesus is coming back and I’m scared of going to hell but I don’t know if I am to stuck in sin that I can’t get out. I do ask for forgiveness every night when I pray but the I go back to sinning the very next day. I also hold some values the same as other christians such as saving myself for marriage like I haven’t even had my first kiss yet. I’m also scared of the fact that Jesus is coming back because there are so many things I would like to do before I die such as travel, maybe live in Ireland ( I fell in love with it after discovering my favorite actress is from there), fall in live, get married, and have kids. I dont want to die young I want to die old and I really want to become a mother one day, I love kids. Also can some please explain to me on what will happen when Jesus comes back. Like if we make it to Heaven will we be there forever or will God make a new world the put us back down here? So overall I don’t know what to do and so I came on here for advice and answers.
Wow, lots on your mind. I can tell you are very confused and it is understandable, especially in today's society.

Jesus said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength." (Mark 12:30 NIV) Do you think one can love someone, I mean really love someone, without knowing them?

One time while listening and reading through the Bible cover to cover I noticed a particular theme that jumped out at me. I kept hearing over and over about how God wants us to know Him. Not just know of Him but to really know Him at a very personal level. The theme I kept hearing included God declaring who He is. It was so strong I felt compelled to do a study of my own and I learned that there were about 300 instances in the Old and New Testaments where God declared who He was and how He wanted us to know Him. In declaring who He was, He used phrases like, "I am God" or "I am the Lord" or "I am your shield" or "I am your God" or "I am your inheritance" or "I am the Bread of Life" or "I am the Living Water" or "I am the Way" or "I am the Truth" and so forth. In declaring that He wanted us to know Him, He used phrases like, "Know Me" or "Know the Lord" or "Know that I am He" or "So you will know that I am God" or "That you may know that I am Lord" or "They will know that I am God" and so forth.

God wants us to know Him, trust Him, believe Him, and love Him with all of our being. It's not easy when there are so many temptations in the world around us, things that distract us, things that we enjoy that we would rather do them more than to love God.

God also said that when we seek Him with all our heart, we will find Him. (Jeremiah 29:13) Jesus said, “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened." (Matthew 7:7-8 NIV) But remember, Scripture also says that when we ask, when we pray, we must believe and that can be the hardest part but never give up as we are also instructed to be persistent in prayer and never give up.

If you do not have a Bible of your own, get one. You sound young so I would recommend a ESV (English Standard Version) or perhaps an NIV (New International Version). Both of these were translated using easier to understand words. Then, once you have it, read it. Read it over and over. Every time I read the Bible I learn new things.

You mentioned that you do go to church. Don't stop! Also, seek out a Bible study group in your church or area where you can engage in conversation with other Christians who are seeking God and remember to weigh everything against what the Bible says. In other words, if what you're being taught is not what the Bible says, that is the Bible in its entirety, then proceed with caution.
 
Hi mccgab08 and welcome to CF :wave2

WIP gave you great advice and all I can add to that is to seek out other Christians your age as this will also help you grow in the Lord. The more you develop your relationship with Christ the more you will want to walk away from worldly pleasures as you will want to be pleasing to the Lord and bring glory to His name. What I would suggest is to start reading the Book of John and the book of Acts as this will teach you about your Spiritual relationship with Christ and about the indwelling of the Holy Spirit in whom will teach you all truths. You can always ask us questions along your Christian journey and we will be happy to help you grow in the knowledge of the Lord.

God bless :)
 
Hi mccgab08 and welcome to CF :wave2

WIP gave you great advice and all I can add to that is to seek out other Christians your age as this will also help you grow in the Lord. The more you develop your relationship with Christ the more you will want to walk away from worldly pleasures as you will want to be pleasing to the Lord and bring glory to His name. What I would suggest is to start reading the Book of John and the book of Acts as this will teach you about your Spiritual relationship with Christ and about the indwelling of the Holy Spirit in whom will teach you all truths. You can always ask us questions along your Christian journey and we will be happy to help you grow in the knowledge of the Lord.

God bless :)
Ditto from me here. Took words right out of my mouth. A little bit ago I was thinking about what I posted earlier and the thought occurred to suggest that you could start with the gospel of John. That gospel tells a lot about who Jesus is not only as a man but also as the third person of the Godhead. It's a great place to start to get to know Him.

Another great bit of advice here from for_his_glory is that it may take some time to grow in your knowledge, trust, faith, belief, and love but as I already mentioned, be persistent and do not give up. Sometimes things happen rapidly and sometimes God takes a little extra time but it is all in His timing.

I'm going to share a little story that I got in my email inbox this morning. Hope it helps bring you some hope.

 
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I am scared of going to hell but I don’t know if I believe in Jesus anymore
Welcome to the forum.

If you want heaven you have to be a Christian. It's as blunt as that.

Why don't you believe in Jesus?
May I suggest you visit the coldcaxechristianity website and checkout the articles there.
Or try answersingenesis, they have loads of articles about Christianity and Jesus.
Here's one link:-https://answersingenesis.org/jesus/incarnation/jesus-did-not-exist/
And one from coldcasechristianity:-https://coldcasechristianity.com/writings/jesus-is-evidence-that-god-exists/

If you like reading get Lee Strobels book " the case for Christ"
A journalists investigation into did Jesus exist.


Last few things.
Get a set of daily bible reading notes and use them. Your church youth leader should be able to help.
As others have said seek Christian friends and be involved in your church.
Ask your parents why if they are Christian they don't attend church.
Ask them and your grandmother the questions you have about Jesus and Christianity.
And ask them here and compare the answers.
 
Ditto from me here. Took words right out of my mouth. A little bit ago I was thinking about what I posted earlier and the thought occurred to suggest that you could start with the gospel of John. That gospel tells a lot about who Jesus is not only as a man but also as the third person of the Godhead. It's a great place to start to get to know Him.

Another great bit of advice here from for_his_glory is that it may take some time to grow in your knowledge, trust, faith, belief, and love but as I already mentioned, be persistent and do not give up. Sometimes things happen rapidly and sometimes God takes a little extra time but it is all in His timing.

I'm going to share a little story that I got in my email inbox this morning. Hope it helps bring you some hope.

Thank you for sharing Kari's story. God will always make a way where there seems to be no way as well I know within my own testimony of His great love and mercy when I was contemplating suicide many years ago.
 
You sound saved, just immature and fearful due to sin, the devil and the world.

Try getting rid of Jesus completely out of your life. Stop thinking about Him. Ignore your conscience. Run away from Him. If you can. I’ll bet you can’t.

You sound saved. He will leave the 99 to get you. You are always in His hand. You will stop eating the slop. You will hear His voice. You do know Him. He will not lose you.

Know that you have true friends here on this site.
 
I am scared of going to hell but I don’t know if I believe in Jesus anymore. For context I’m a teenager and I have grown up christian. My Great Grandfather is a pastor, my grandparents grew up christian, and so did my dad. My mother grew up catholic. My parents don’t go to church really (they only go for like Easter, Christmas, and like Mother’s day) so my grandparents always take me. Well I would say around 7th grade I started believing less in God and Jesus I’m currently about to start my Junior year of high school. I cuss, lie once in a while, and I watch shows like Bridgerton, Grey’s anatomy, and Shameless (shows with sexy stuff in it). I pray over my food at dinner and I pray before bed though I will say that when I pray it is just the same thing as the night before. I used ro read my Bible but I don’t really anymore. I listen to music with explicit lyrics (like Taylor Swift, Cardi B, Sabrina Carpenter, etc.) Now I know this isn’t good and I am most likely what people refer to as a lukewarm Christian. I feel bad and I want to grow closer to God but I don’t want to give those things up and I know I should. I just don’t know what to do. I’m on the christian side of TikTok but is also mixed with like other popular trendy stuff. I also have some gay friends I am an ally. Is ok if I support the LQBTQ+ community? I also am pro-choice but that is as much as I get into politics. I used to be very conservative in middle school and I am raised in a very conservative household also (very big Trump supporters) I hide away my thoughts though as I don’t want to cause fights, disappointment, or upset my family especially my grandma. Also my parents know I have gay friends and my dad is pro abortion just because he believes some people should not have kids. My grandparents also do not know any of this. They don’t know I watch these shows, listen to this kind of music, that I still cuss, and I lie as much as I do. They also don’t know I have gay friends or that I am pro-choice. My grandparents know I have cussed before because I have slipped up in front of them a couple of times and I have lied to my grandmother once. Other than that though my grandparents especially my grandma think I am a perfect little christian girl. Ok so past all that I know Jesus is coming back and I’m scared of going to hell but I don’t know if I am to stuck in sin that I can’t get out. I do ask for forgiveness every night when I pray but the I go back to sinning the very next day. I also hold some values the same as other christians such as saving myself for marriage like I haven’t even had my first kiss yet. I’m also scared of the fact that Jesus is coming back because there are so many things I would like to do before I die such as travel, maybe live in Ireland ( I fell in love with it after discovering my favorite actress is from there), fall in live, get married, and have kids. I dont want to die young I want to die old and I really want to become a mother one day, I love kids. Also can some please explain to me on what will happen when Jesus comes back. Like if we make it to Heaven will we be there forever or will God make a new world the put us back down here? So overall I don’t know what to do and so I came on here for advice and answers.

Sister, my best advice here would be that Christianity is not about a bunch of don'ts. It's about keeping the first and second greatest commandments, and the greatest is to love the Lord your God with your whole heart, mind, soul and strength. What that means is that He becomes your greatest desire, and pleasing Him becomes your highest objective in life.

Sounds to me like you have hardly begun to live yet, and there will be lessons along the way, some that may be tough to learn (hopefully not, but it happens to many). The tough part for kids raised in conservative Christian environments is that they often live a sheltered and protected life into adulthood. This is only natural, but sometimes it causes them to branch out only a little - only so far into the world without really understanding the price tag of heavy duty sin and what happens to a person when they go completely off the deep end into the darkness. I certainly don't recommend that, but you can learn by paying close attention to those among your peers who do. Pay attention to the suicides, the drug addicts, the heartbroken and psychologically scared, to the imprisoned, the depressed and increasingly hopeless, and how failing to devote their lives to the True and Living God turned out. And don't let your mind be corrupted by the media concerning social issues because they serve the darkness. Literally. It may be many years of drawing closer to the Lord Jesus Christ before that is fully revealed to you. But let HIM govern your thinking by giving yourself time to study His word. Develop a Biblical worldview, to where you understand that the real issue going on in the world is the battle for the souls of men going on every day between the Devil and the Lord Jesus Christ. In the end, that's what life was about, and what part you played in it will determine whether your life was a "success" or not.

Blessings in Christ and welcome to Christian Forums. We're glad you joined. :)
 
I am scared of going to hell but I don’t know if I Jesus is coming back and I’m scared of going to hell but I don’t know if I am to stuck in sin that I can’t get out. I do ask for forgiveness every night when I pray but the I go back to sinning the very next day. I also hold some values the same as other christians such as saving myself for marriage like I haven’t even had my first kiss yet. I’m also scared of the fact that Jesus is coming back because there are so many things I would like to do before I die such as travel, maybe live in Ireland ( I fell in love with it after discovering my favorite actress is from there), fall in live, get married, and have kids. I dont want to die young I want to die old and I really want to become a mother one day, I love kids. Also can some please explain to me on what will happen when Jesus comes back. Like if we make it to Heaven will we be there forever or will God make a new world the put us back down here? So overall I don’t know what to do and so I came on here for advice and answers.
Hello mccgab08
You’ve gotten some good advice from folks here. Take this from an old man.
God never wanted to destroy His creation and He still doesn’t.
The Apostles said when He returns He will only kill the wicked because His appearance at time will be like the sun came into contact with the earth.
Many will not be ready for that, because He said people shoud be ready to meet Him.
Your mom and dad and grandparents love you and would never lat anyone harm you.
It sounds like you’re a normal kid who grew up in a normal home because it sounds like my old home. My mom and dad weren’t perfect but they loved me and forgave easily as Jesus taught. So try reading the Bible that way because nowhere in the New Testament does it say that when Jesus was on earth He condemned no one.
He knew what was in us and he never told anyone to go to hell or I believe they would have on the spot. The demons were afraid He was going to do it to them, but He didn’t
So just forgive others and do the best you can. He will handle the rest.
Try to see your parents as correction not to condemn you.
The devil will always point his finger at you to condemn you, not because he’s afraid of you being condemned. That is how you know when you’re being lied to about God.
If anyone ever tells you that God hates you and wants to destroy you then you’re being lied to. God loves you more than your mom and dad and they love you huge!
 
I am scared of going to hell but I don’t know if I believe in Jesus anymore.

Welcome to CF.net, mccgab08.

This is a truly scary place to be.

Well I would say around 7th grade I started believing less in God and Jesus I’m currently about to start my Junior year of high school. I cuss, lie once in a while, and I watch shows like Bridgerton, Grey’s anatomy, and Shameless (shows with sexy stuff in it). I pray over my food at dinner and I pray before bed though I will say that when I pray it is just the same thing as the night before. I used ro read my Bible but I don’t really anymore. I listen to music with explicit lyrics (like Taylor Swift, Cardi B, Sabrina Carpenter, etc.) Now I know this isn’t good and I am most likely what people refer to as a lukewarm Christian. I feel bad and I want to grow closer to God but I don’t want to give those things up and I know I should. I just don’t know what to do.

Well, a lot of what you've described here is just you following what you like, what you desire. We all do this. As much as possible, we're either chasing after stuff we want, or running away from the things that cause us pain. At the moment, your interest in, and desire for, God, is pretty low ("lukewarm," as you said). So, how does this change? How do you come to desire (love) God more than your favorite t.v. shows, and music, and whatever is of more interest to you right now than He is?

One part of the answer of the Bible to this question is: Know God well. Seems pretty simple, eh? How well do you know God? When you think of Him, what frames up in your mind?

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a young guy in much the same situation you've described. I suggested some things to him about how to change his cold heart toward God and he agreed to do these things through the following week. When we met again, a week later, he told me nothing I'd recommended to him from Scripture had "worked." We talked about what his expectations had been of what would happen as he started to do the things God's word told him to do in his walk with God. Finally, I asked this young fellow to tell me about God.

He was puzzled by my request. We both knew who God was, right? We were both Christians. I asked him to humor me and give me a description of God anyway. "He's powerful," the young guy began. "He can do anything. Nothing can stop Him. Nothing is stronger than He is."

"Okay," I replied, "What does this mean to how you relate with God? What does it mean to how you approach Him that God is all-powerful?"

The young man thought for a moment and then answered, "I'm not sure, actually."

I asked him the same questions about God knowing everything about him and about God's perfect holiness. What did these characteristics of God have to do with how the young man approached and interacted with God? He wasn't sure. So, I showed him from God's word what it meant.

Because God in this guy's thinking was vague, and small, and distant, the young man dealt with God in a corresponding way. In part, this meant the guy approached God in a very casual, even careless, way. To him, it didn't mean anything, really, to how he prayed, or lived, that he depended upon God for his existence at every moment, that God was the Ground of All Reality, Creator and Ruler of Everything. It didn't mean anything, really, that when he approached God in "worship," or in prayer, or in study of the Bible, that God knew every single thing about him, that he had no secrets from God, that no mask of piety he might wear deceived God, that every selfish, rotten, unholy fantasy, or attitude, or action was completely known to God. It didn't mean anything, really, that God was "holy, holy, holy" and hated his rebellion and sin. And so, when this young fellow tried to do the things I'd shown him from God's word he ought to do as a child of God, he had done so thinking of God as small, and shapeless, His nature mostly pretty meaningless to the young guy.

So, how do you think God will respond to His child who approaches Him for interaction on this basis, who sees Him and deals with Him as this young man was trying to do? Well, here's what God says in His word, the Bible:

Revelation 1:13-18
13 and in the middle of the lampstands I saw one like a son of man, clothed in a robe reaching to the feet, and girded across His chest with a golden sash.
14 His head and His hair were white like white wool, like snow; and His eyes were like a flame of fire.
15 His feet were like burnished bronze, when it has been made to glow in a furnace, and His voice was like the sound of many waters.
16 In His right hand He held seven stars, and out of His mouth came a sharp two-edged sword; and His face was like the sun shining in its strength.
17 When I saw Him, I fell at His feet like a dead man. And He placed His right hand on me, saying, "Do not be afraid; I am the first and the last,
18 and the living One; and I was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of death and of Hades.

James 4:6-7
6 ...“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God...

Romans 11:33-36 - 12:1
33 Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
34 “For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?”
35 “Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?”
36 For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.


1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

1 Samuel 16:7
7 ...God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Hebrews 4:13
13 And there is no creature hidden from His sight, but all things are open and laid bare to the eyes of Him with whom we have to do.

Psalm 66:18
18 If I regard wickedness in my heart, The Lord will not hear;

Isaiah 59:2
2 But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, And your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.

1 Peter 3:12
12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and his ears are open to their prayer. But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”

James 4:8-10
8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.
9 Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom.
10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.


Imagine entering your neighbor's house uninvited, rummaging through their fridge for a plate of food, taking it to the living room where you snatch up the t.v. remote, plop down on the sofa, and start watching Netflix. What do you think your neighbor would do in response? Throw you out? Probably. Maybe call the police? Possibly. And so, when we deal with our neighbors, we observe certain courtesies, certain protocols of politeness, at least, respecting them and their domain when we approach them.

So, why, then, do Christians think they can just approach God any old way they like and have something real, and life-changing, and wonderful happen between them and God? If we are careful about how we approach our neighbors, why do so many Christians think they can approach God just as they please and get a positive response from Him? Why do they think they can treat God as a near-equal, approaching Him casually, and even disrespectfully, sometimes? Why do they think they can pretend with Him, singing songs of praise to Him and praying to Him when they hold all manner of secret sin within their minds and hearts? Why do they think they can "walk with God" and maintain a life of self-will, worldliness, full of resentments, addictions, and corrupt values, philosophies and behavior?

The truth is, they can't. But they try, though. And when they get a flat response, when God is silent and distant, they think maybe He's not there at all. He is, though. But He sets the dynamic of our interaction with Him; we don't. If we won't approach Him according to who He is, if we won't interact with Him according to who He is, we won't encounter Him. Because the tiny, shapeless, false God we're thinking of doesn't exist.

So, how about you? Are you maybe like the young fellow I described above? Have you been seeing God clearly, as the Bible reveals Him to be, and approaching Him accordingly?
 
Just one other thing: When we begin to interact with the God who actually is and not our weird, shrunken version of God, and discover Him to be all He says in His word, the Bible, that He will be for us, we find God gets more and more real, and satisfying, and fulfilling, and this experience of Him fuels continuing with Him into more of the same. Just like anything else you pursue in life. In other words, the Christian life is supposed to be motivated by the Christian's direct, personal, life-changing experience of God. When it isn't, the Christian life becomes like a car that is running on vegetable oil rather than on gas. The car just doesn't go like it's supposed to. And, eventually, the car will stop running altogether.

So, get the right "fuel" in your tank spiritually, which is a daily, concrete experience of God, of the Holy Spirit, in your life. This experience, though, relies on you knowing who God has revealed Himself to be in the Bible and dealing with him accordingly.

Is there anyone near you, in your church, maybe, who could disciple you?
 
I think maybe someone should mention the age of accountability. Scripture shows that at 20 the Israelites leaving Egypt were held accountable, not those who were younger. Rest in Christ dear little sister, and keep Him in your thoughts. I DON'T recommend trying to run from Him or forget Him. I know he brother who said that earlier was not intending that as advice, but we should recognize that you are very young and that might have looked like genuine advice.
Numbers 14:29-33 (KJV)

29 Your carcasses shall fall in this wilderness; and all that were numbered of you, according to your whole number, from twenty years old and upward which have murmured against me.

30 Doubtless ye shall not come into the land, concerning which I sware to make you dwell therein, save Caleb the son of Jephunneh, and Joshua the son of Nun.

31 But your little ones, which ye said should be a prey, them will I bring in, and they shall know the land which ye have despised.

32 But as for you, your carcasses, they shall fall in this wilderness.

33 And your children shall wander in the wilderness forty years, and bear your whoredoms, until your carcasses be wasted in the wilderness.
 
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