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I quit church

Allen Wynne said:
My wife and I quit church.
After over 32 years of faithful going to church, and my wife her entire life, we have quit for what seems for good.
Our current church, no need to knock denominations, just made a new rule; be a member or you can't participate in any ministries.
So my wife, faithful to the women's prayer group every Tuesday morning, was told by the group leader she could no longer attend.
We will not become members and be forced to follow man made rules.

So I looked in the internet at all the churches in our area that we have yet to try, and we determined they are all the same.
They want membership, they want you to follow the rules, they want to control you in some way.

And we don't buy it.
So we watched Charles Stanley for an hour today and will make a church service at home from now on.
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Brother Allen Wynne,

Question? Did your wife and you tithe at this church you are no longer going to attend?
 
Christ_empowered said:
i was thinking about going with my dad to a local megachurch he really likes.
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Many times we do things for those we love, or that need our support because going with him provides opportunity to fellowship you may never have as good as you can there, and occasionally talk about the things you've heard, and it doesn't need be a debate. Paul said that he rejoiced when Jesus is preached when it is wrong.
Php 1:18 What then? notwithstanding, every way, whether in pretence, or in truth, Christ is preached; and I therein do rejoice, yea, and will rejoice. I would suppose that your dad may hear things there that bring him closer to God even if ever so slightly.
 
OK...
So I'm trying to understand why joining the church is a problem.

Usually it just means that they have your address and phone number so that they can contact you outside of Sundays or whenever else you show up.

Mostly membership is for their purposes. Means of figuring out if they have enough staff to properly do the job that a modern church does.

Voting?
OK, you don't have to.
Be a deacon?
You can say no
Teach a small group?
You can say no
You don't have to do anything other than warm a pew when you are a member and many don't even do that.

So why the histrionics over being a member?
I'm confused.
 
I have been to citrus county.no thanks.it did ,however, remind me of old vero but smaller.
 
Allen Wynne said:
My wife and I quit church.
After over 32 years of faithful going to church, and my wife her entire life, we have quit for what seems for good.
Our current church, no need to knock denominations, just made a new rule; be a member or you can't participate in any ministries.
So my wife, faithful to the women's prayer group every Tuesday morning, was told by the group leader she could no longer attend.
We will not become members and be forced to follow man made rules.

So I looked in the internet at all the churches in our area that we have yet to try, and we determined they are all the same.
They want membership, they want you to follow the rules, they want to control you in some way.

And we don't buy it.
So we watched Charles Stanley for an hour today and will make a church service at home from now on.
Click to expand...
While that is a silly and needless rule, I think you vastly underestimate the importance of being a member.
 
Jethro Bodine said:
If I ever moved back to Florida it would be to Citrus county.
I wanted to move there when I lived in Pasco county.
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Nothing there bUT geezers and semi old florida reminders.I say that as it predates my county and goes back to the civil war era.
 
Free said:
While that is a silly and needless rule, I think you vastly underestimate the importance of being a member.
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Sorry Free, but I feel YOU are vastly underestimating that "silly" rule.

Telling a Christian person, especially one who is apparently a prayer warrior (and we certainly need those) that they may not participate in a prayer group because they are not a memeber of the church is clearly a method of blackmail.

Is the church adapting worldly methods to "convince" persons to become members? What, then, makes us different from the world?
I thought churches were supposed to invite everyone and anyone. I'm certainly not a member of that church the O.P. is addressing. Would I also not be welcomed? I probably would be because I'd be a potential customer. Is that all we are? Customers? In the case that I would be invited, then my belief that the request amounts to blackmail would be correct.

When I became a member of the Nazarene church, I had to sing a form stating that I agreed with the doctrine. When I was Catholic I had to agree with all the doctrine AND dogma.

What if I don't? Should I be dishonest and still sign?

§There's the church.
And there's the Church.

As long as we're members of the Church, I think we're OK with God, and maybe we shouldn't feel so guilty about not attending church...although I do think it's a good idea. But not when you come home feeling upset. Church (small c) is supposed to make us feel good and close to God. As opposed to how the world makes us feel all week long.
 
JohnDB said:
OK...
So I'm trying to understand why joining the church is a problem.

Usually it just means that they have your address and phone number so that they can contact you outside of Sundays or whenever else you show up.

Mostly membership is for their purposes. Means of figuring out if they have enough staff to properly do the job that a modern church does.

Voting?
OK, you don't have to.
Be a deacon?
You can say no
Teach a small group?
You can say no
You don't have to do anything other than warm a pew when you are a member and many don't even do that.

So why the histrionics over being a member?
I'm confused.
Click to expand...
John,
I shouldn't talk, I've been gone for such a long time.
But I belonged to a small church, less than 100 membership.

You have direct contact with the pastor. You DO feel somewhat pressured. I used to wonder if I was doing things for HIM, or for God.
You know, that whole "works" thing.

I had to try very hard to keep the two separate and not get my work confused with works.
If you didn't show up for bible study, he'd ask if you if you were sick.
If you missed service a couple of weeks, ditto.
Soon it felt like I was following rules instead of going to service. I attended that church for about 10 years but had to eventually leave.
I did like it and participated happily. Never found another church I liked as much.

I wrote this to say that in small churches what you do IS very important and noticed.
 
iLOVE said:
Brother Allen Wynne,

Question? Did your wife and you tithe at this church you are no longer going to attend?
Click to expand...
Dear ILove, it's none of your business how much money I give to a non-profit corporation.
As to how much money I give to serve God, most of it is outside the corporate world of Christianity.
And as to what percentage of my income all that money comes to is between me and God.
We've been donating in cash to churches since 1999, no one can see how much we give.
And they obviously don't like it.
And as to all the hardships and diseases and near death experiences I've gone through, I still praise the Lord Jesus everyday for my life no matter what.
 
wondering said:
John,
I shouldn't talk, I've been gone for such a long time.
But I belonged to a small church, less than 100 membership.

You have direct contact with the pastor. You DO feel somewhat pressured. I used to wonder if I was doing things for HIM, or for God.
You know, that whole "works" thing.

I had to try very hard to keep the two separate and not get my work confused with works.
If you didn't show up for bible study, he'd ask if you if you were sick.
If you missed service a couple of weeks, ditto.
Soon it felt like I was following rules instead of going to service. I attended that church for about 10 years but had to eventually leave.
I did like it and participated happily. Never found another church I liked as much.

I wrote this to say that in small churches what you do IS very important and noticed.
Click to expand...
Maybe it's because I have such a strong personality and know what and why I believe what I believe...

I know that it really doesn't matter to me about what they want...I worry more about what God wants.
Sometimes I miss a few Sundays. I am very lackluster in attendance to services but I'm very diligent in Small Group.

I'm also not a fan of our pastor. He's a Calvinist and most of us aint. Only a few of the "important" membership are...and I'm not sure that he really is a Calvinist...but he would never admit it..but he preaches what is popular to the "important" ones.
But I show up regularly, help out with whatever, and am enjoying the other members. They are friends.
Where the Pastor may be the "leader" his flock is still following The Shepherd. It's all there is to it.
 
JohnDB said:
Maybe it's because I have such a strong personality and know what and why I believe what I believe...

I know that it really doesn't matter to me about what they want...I worry more about what God wants.
Sometimes I miss a few Sundays. I am very lackluster in attendance to services but I'm very diligent in Small Group.

I'm also not a fan of our pastor. He's a Calvinist and most of us aint. Only a few of the "important" membership are...and I'm not sure that he really is a Calvinist...but he would never admit it..but he preaches what is popular to the "important" ones.
But I show up regularly, help out with whatever, and am enjoying the other members. They are friends.
Where the Pastor may be the "leader" his flock is still following The Shepherd. It's all there is to it.
Click to expand...
I'm happy that you can remain, shall we say "joyful" in your church.
It was a lot of years serving before my heart attack brought me down.
From that day on, nobody seemed to care about me.
But my wife and I stayed faithful to our Savior in all situations and I am still here.
I'm sure he has more for us to do outside the corporate church organizations.
 
JohnDB said:
Maybe it's because I have such a strong personality and know what and why I believe what I believe...

I know that it really doesn't matter to me about what they want...I worry more about what God wants.
Sometimes I miss a few Sundays. I am very lackluster in attendance to services but I'm very diligent in Small Group.

I'm also not a fan of our pastor. He's a Calvinist and most of us aint. Only a few of the "important" membership are...and I'm not sure that he really is a Calvinist...but he would never admit it..but he preaches what is popular to the "important" ones.
But I show up regularly, help out with whatever, and am enjoying the other members. They are friends.
Where the Pastor may be the "leader" his flock is still following The Shepherd. It's all there is to it.
Click to expand...
Two comments:

You shouldn't have to have a strong personality go get all g in a church. Not everyone has one. Some feel oppressed and just leave. Anyway, a pastor can't win . Too much and he oppresses, too little and he ignores.

The other thing is:
How could you go to a Calvinist church if you aren't one?
His sermons never touch on this?
 
A long time ago, me & my wife use to love to get in the car on Sunday morning and just head either N,S,E, or W out into the wide blue yonder till we found a church to attend. Might start doing that again.
Most Church's I have attended first wants you to be saved(Again) & then baptized(Again) so you can become a member.
If memory serves me correctly we have done that process 2-3 time over the past 30+ years, its required to drive bus & I would require the same of others who wants the job. I really miss doing that job, it was most rewarding fun I've had in my life!

After we moved some 5-6 years ago to the boonies we attended a new church for the first time yesterday.
 
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