Hi everybody, none of you have seen me post anything for a while because I haven't been on for a while. That's for the reason of shame. I have fallen so far from God in these past couple months and gave satan control back over my life. It started with a relapse of crystal meth. It has again become an everyday thing in my life. I have only been clean off of it now for i think only 2 days. im not really sure how long i slept for. but something that i am even more ashamed about is i did something that i never thought i could ever do. i committed adultry and had sex with another man outside of my marriage. I have lost everything i love. My husband is gone with my children and refuses to give me another chance. i really need him to help me i have cried and begged him but he wont. I have tried to kill myself but i cant work up the guts to get the job done. i dont even have a place to live anymore. im just waiting for that eviction notice to show up on my door. last night I worked up the courage to ask God to forgive me and help me. i am willing to do anything just to get my husband and children back. and i told my husband i will do anything but he has just left me and dont want me no more. My pain is so unbearable and i never felt like this in my life. i feel so alone. i just want my family back and i want to change. i need GOD in my life and I want to live for HIM. Please pray for me that I can pick myself up out of this hole that I'm in. and pray that my husband can forgive me and come back to me. I can't live with out my husband and children. i need help. I know there is power in prayer so please pray for me and my family who i need very badly.
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[__ Prayer __] I'M FALLING APART
- Thread starter micaela
- Start date
Micaela, I will cover you in prayer this morning. God is more powerful than this addiction, don't ever forget that. You are at a broken place and that is good. God can take all the pieces of your life and put them back together beautifully. Trust Him, even when you feel like you can't trust yourself.
It's good that you told your husband that. Show him you mean it...that it isn't just words. You said it once and that is enough. Your next step is to follow through by taking steps to recovery. If you have 2-1-1 in your area, call the number and ask about drug recovery programs. Or look in the phonebook for addiction programs. Take this first step to show yourself and your husband that you mean business about making things better.
Please take this the way it is meant: with love. It doesn't take guts to commit suicide. Suicide is very cowardly. It takes guts to resist the urge to end your life. I will pray in earnest for God to strengthen your guts.
Another thing about suicide is that it hurts the survivors. Even just the suicide attempts hurt family members. Your children are now dealing with their mother's drug addiction. Don't give them something harder to deal with. They have the rest of their lives to live. Do you want them to live with knowing their mother killed herself? Or do you want them to live with knowing their mother BEAT THIS DRUG ADDICTION and OVERCAME the consequences? For you and your family's benefit and to God's glory, God can bring beauty from these ashes. Get excited about this!
May God bless you will full recovery in every area of your life. In Jesus' name I pray this blessing upon you, Micaela.
It's good that you told your husband that. Show him you mean it...that it isn't just words. You said it once and that is enough. Your next step is to follow through by taking steps to recovery. If you have 2-1-1 in your area, call the number and ask about drug recovery programs. Or look in the phonebook for addiction programs. Take this first step to show yourself and your husband that you mean business about making things better.
Please take this the way it is meant: with love. It doesn't take guts to commit suicide. Suicide is very cowardly. It takes guts to resist the urge to end your life. I will pray in earnest for God to strengthen your guts.
Another thing about suicide is that it hurts the survivors. Even just the suicide attempts hurt family members. Your children are now dealing with their mother's drug addiction. Don't give them something harder to deal with. They have the rest of their lives to live. Do you want them to live with knowing their mother killed herself? Or do you want them to live with knowing their mother BEAT THIS DRUG ADDICTION and OVERCAME the consequences? For you and your family's benefit and to God's glory, God can bring beauty from these ashes. Get excited about this!
May God bless you will full recovery in every area of your life. In Jesus' name I pray this blessing upon you, Micaela.
Caroline H
Member
JoJo said:
Please take this the way it is meant: with love. It doesn't take guts to commit suicide. Suicide is very cowardly. It takes guts to resist the urge to end your life. I will pray in earnest for God to strengthen your guts.
Another thing about suicide is that it hurts the survivors. Even just the suicide attempts hurt family members. Your children are now dealing with their mother's drug addiction. Don't give them something harder to deal with. They have the rest of their lives to live. Do you want them to live with knowing their mother killed herself? Or do you want them to live with knowing their mother BEAT THIS DRUG ADDICTION and OVERCAME the consequences? For you and your family's benefit and to God's glory, God can bring beauty from these ashes. Get excited about this!
May God bless you will full recovery in every area of your life. In Jesus' name I pray this blessing upon you, Micaela.[/quote:3a5l7l2h]
AMEN! I am in full agreement with this prayer 
The LORD is more than able to heal your life and mend your heart if you give Him complete control. JoJo is right, this is a GOOD THING to be at a broken place in your life. It is when our hearts are broken and contrite that God has the reigns completely, because we don't have the strength to hold them ourselves! This can be the turning point in your life if you let it, from here on out you can be a servant of the Most High, and it all starts with you heart.Please follow JoJo's advice and call someone, because you need human support! That's the way God made us, we need help from each other. You have told your husband that you will do anything to get them back, but you must realize that a bond of trust has been broken. That cannot be mended with words alone, it is going to take time... a lot of time... to SHOW them that you are sincere and worthy or their trust. You know it, but right now he is clouded with grief and probably anger. Give him time and space and focus on letting God get you where you need to be. In time things may change.
God bless you, and it's good to see you back!
Micaela, you received the best advice that anybody can give. But one more thing is needed. As the Bible says, Christians are there for each other to comfort and consol one another, so I recommend that if you don't have one already, you find a nice church with loving people and a compassionate pastor who can give advice. It always helps when you are in the company of people who care about and pray for you. I will keep you in my prayers, as well.
Carol Lowery
Member
Well there's not much else to say.....wisdom has it covered. Remember our Lord loves you, and if we were perfect there would be no need for our beautiful Savior. Praise God that we have a wonderful loving Father that gave us HIS Son so that we may recieve HIS mercy/grace/compassion in HIS loving forgiveness. Honey that's why we need HIM so much, to pull us up out of the pig pen, and back home under HIS grace. We serve a mighty GOD.
We'll pray and love you through it honey......hold fast to our Saviors hand. God knows your heart, and every hair on your head.....most of all HE knows our hearts desire when we repent from our sin.
We'll pray and love you through it honey......hold fast to our Saviors hand. God knows your heart, and every hair on your head.....most of all HE knows our hearts desire when we repent from our sin.
Thank you all so much.. I really needed that. this morning I contacted a therapist/drug counselor and then I had a really good talk with my husband. I am very hopeful and I have been praying constantly. though I am still feeling heartbroken and angry with myself for what I have done, I do feel a hundred times better than I felt a couple days ago and I have decided to trust in the LORD and give it all up to HIM. I even resisted the temptation to get high again and I think by resisting that tempatation It has made me feel very empowered.
thanks every one
thanks every one
Caroline H
Member
That's good news Micaela! Take each day as it comes and don't worry beyond that. All we can ever deal with is one day at a time. Before you know it this time will be miles away 
caromurp said:
So true. That kind of thinking helped me get through the dark days of my son's cancer. I kept telling myself that one day it would all just be a memory. I visualized the future without cancer---that helped me cope with the then-present trials. And before I knew it, it has now been three+ years. Praise God! Micaela, praise God now, in advance, for the healing He will bestow on you and your family.
Dude named Louis
Member
Praying for you Micaela. I know what it is like to be in bondage of drug and alcohol addiction. It can get better and living moment by moment trusting in God you can overcome.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (New International Version)
13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
1 Corinthians 10:13 (New International Version)
13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.