I'm not interested in relationships

[Judy Vee]

My dear husband Henry passed away five years ago behind the wheel of a car. We were married less than 20 years but they were the most wonderful years of my life. Now that he has gone home to Heaven I have absolutely no desire to form relationships with other men. My mother and I live together and I am happy just being in her company. My friends tell me that I am too young to be alone and I should start activly dating (I'm in my late 50's). I don't feel comfortable being in the company of another man. I know in my head that Henry is no longer with me and that I am free to seek companionship from other men, but my heart just won't let go of Henry's memory and it seems to get in the way of my desire to date. I have often joked about this feeling I have with my widowed friends (who do date) and tell them that when God is ready for me to meet the right man He will cause me to fall on my face at his feet. I am content with my life as it is with mom. We are living quietly together and share many of the same likes and dislikes, but I do wonder what it will be like when she has gone home to Heaven and I will be here alone to continue God's work. It isn't something I fear because I trust God and his personal plan for my life. But I am a people person and like to have friends and family around me to share joys and special moments with. I guess I'm writing this to find out if anyone else feels the same as I do about dating after losing a beloved spouse.

Warm Regards

Judy

 

[Scott]

I can't relate from experience, but I ran that thought through my mind when thinking of other's loss of a spouse. I remember my uncle remarried less than a year after my aunt passed away. They had 5 children and were married about 20 years but had a rocky marriage at times. I wondered how he could do that, was it that easy to move on? I know there are some people out there who just can't bear to be alone. I know remarrying can in a sense help ease the pain of a loss, but is there guilt involved because in some ways its almost like replacement and filling the void of romantic love

I think if I do get married and was oneday faced with that situation, I think it would be so hard to move on no matter how much time passed. I think moving on with my life would be even harder if my wife and I had children together. I can't say without going through it nor can I judge anyone for how they cope. I just think it would be hard to move on with my life to the point of remarriage.

 

[BATMAN]

I can see it being difficult to move on after losing a spouse to death. But for those who "lose" a spouse from a divorce, I say move on. Either enjoy being single and doing your own thing, or start dating to find that next special person. Most of my divorced friends started dating no more than 6 months later. Some, VERY soon after.