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I'm Sick of It...

JohnDB

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OK.
meet Jack and Julie.
Jack is a big guy. 6'5" and built. Barrel chested and trim. All about sports and fitness. The kind of guy that gives shivers to the opposing team in football but can shoot the eye out of a sparrow at 100 yards with a bow and arrow. Deep voice and sure of his words. He is our Children's minister. He loves children and is really interested in taking care of them. He has two grown kids with kids of their own. Their daughter married our associate pastor.

Julie is just as small as Jack is big. I think she is about five foot nothing with heels. She is a spitfire too and so jolly and happy go lucky... Until dealing with her kids or husband. Always a kind word and a big smile that reaches her ears.

Julie is in the last stages of stomach cancer... Her second time of having it. The chemotherapy did nothing to the tumors as they spread throughout her body.

Hospice has been called.

Sherlie lives in Tacoma Washington. She had a kick nack shop till the mall closed. Since then she has been homeless.
She kept her chin up as she ministered to other homeless people. Witnessing to any and all who will listen.
She has somehow gotten non-smokers lung cancer which has spread throughout her body. She believes she will be healed but the doctors want to call hospice since they believe she has less than 6 months and the cancer has spread to her ankle bones.

Another guy who was a rough tough Harley riding thug made the poor choice of making friends with a preacher... Yeah he and his wife got saved. But was able to keep his rough friends and got many of them saved. His wife also came up with cancer and lost a long hard fought battle. I remember so clearly when he quietly turned to me one day and said, "I feel like my prayers are hitting the ceiling" meaning God wasn't hearing him.

My grandmother died of colon cancer. My father has had colon cancer.

I once was in culinary school. One day in classes right before Christmas break at semester's end Bill started going above and beyond in helping us out with daily chores (making stock and dishes). I pulled him aside and asked what was up. He said it was his dream to come to culinary school but that his dream was over as stomach cancer had come back and that after Christmas he wouldn't be.
He wouldn't get to stir a pot again.

And there are plenty of unmentioned others that I've known over the years that have had their lives cut short by this cruel illness.

My wife works as a grant manager for a research scientist who thinks she has a true intervention to keep people from ever getting colon cancer... About 60% of the cases. So no matter what I won't let her quit her job.

But I am tired and worn out from cancer.
I'm sick of losing to this virus that slowly and painfully takes good people.
 
That is very sad...
:(
Do you have support?
 
JohnDB
I don't usually search around for threads. I'm happy I saw yours so that I could tell you something you already know.

We all feel as you do right now many times throughout life. It passes, then it comes back. All the beautiful stuff we say here on CF is nice, but then we have life staring us in the face and it seems as though God is far away.
Well, we know he's not - but we also know He's not going to do miracles every moment of the day. I've said that I don't understand what we're doing here. I'm sure there's a lofty goal. I'm sure the evil one is here to put his split hooves into everything. I'm sure we all have our stories after a certain age. Some very close.

So I draw on the strength God gives. I think of each day individually. When I start to think of the future, I force myself to stop. Today has enough worries. It seems every country that can is working toward the goal of eradicating the cruel illness. Let's hope it doesn't take much longer. We live on hope -

I like Philippians 4:1-9

W
 
I know that God has a plan and is working that plan. I know I won't understand it. It just makes me sad when I see others in so much greif.
Our days are numbered before we were ever born and our paths paved with every brick and obstacles long ago.

Sometimes I wonder how to bring comfort to those when the pain is that bad. I, like Jack, am a man of many talents. But this stuff is beyond my pay grade and skill set.
 
There's nothing you can say. You're not a young kid, you know this. Just being there for someone in those circumstances is enough - just listening to them and knowing that it helps. Knowing that it helps them also helps US to get over the feelings of hurt we end up feeling because we have some sense that we've helped in some way. My mother died of cancer, my father of alzheimers, so I know what I'm speaking of. It was good to have people present - this offered support. There's nothing else we could do but pray for cures, since I'm sure that God's wish for us is to have good health.

W
 
I thought this was a fictional story of Jack & Julie, but I realized as I read that these are people you know. So sad. Cancer. We have close friends who are married. He was diagnosed with breast cancer about 5 years ago and had to get a double mastectomy. It was a while in his recovery, when two years later his wife was told the same thing. She too had the same surgery. Unbelievable. I could list roughly 10 people we know well who have been diagnosed with cancer.

I feel for you, brother. Sorry for your pain.

I'm curious. Why did you say the biker made the "poor choice" of making friends with a preacher?
 
I'm curious. Why did you say the biker made the "poor choice" of making friends with a preacher?

He liked his rough, tough image and lifestyle. He didn't want to let it go.
He thought Christianity was for wimps. Just like most of his circle of friends. They are respectful... Just didn't want the image of weakness.
He found out differently and that us "wimps" were tougher than he was.

Losing his wife emasculated him. His words haunt me regularly. He was known as the Senior Pastor's best friend.
I've since stopped going to that church. Mostly because it contains the "who's who" of Christiandom. Names you would recognize easily. I'm more comfortable behind the scenes and away from the rich and famous.

I'm a strange guy in some respects. I usually don't make friends with senior pastors. Associate pastors I will hang out with, shoot pool, bows and arrows, and crack jokes. The Senior pastor in question used to talk to me from the pulpit because I wouldn't do so in the halls or his office.

It's mostly because I don't matter. I may be a zealot but I'm never a fan. I'm always there for reasons and leave for particular reasons. (Like my time is done) I aint rich. Blue collar worker so contributions are small when compared to the big fish to fry. But I have many talents like a Renaissance man. So I volunteer a lot. I meet a lot of people. All have a story. I love stories.
 
OK.
meet Jack and Julie.
Jack is a big guy. 6'5" and built. Barrel chested and trim. All about sports and fitness. The kind of guy that gives shivers to the opposing team in football but can shoot the eye out of a sparrow at 100 yards with a bow and arrow. Deep voice and sure of his words. He is our Children's minister. He loves children and is really interested in taking care of them. He has two grown kids with kids of their own. Their daughter married our associate pastor.

Julie is just as small as Jack is big. I think she is about five foot nothing with heels. She is a spitfire too and so jolly and happy go lucky... Until dealing with her kids or husband. Always a kind word and a big smile that reaches her ears.

Julie is in the last stages of stomach cancer... Her second time of having it. The chemotherapy did nothing to the tumors as they spread throughout her body.

Hospice has been called.

Sherlie lives in Tacoma Washington. She had a kick nack shop till the mall closed. Since then she has been homeless.
She kept her chin up as she ministered to other homeless people. Witnessing to any and all who will listen.
She has somehow gotten non-smokers lung cancer which has spread throughout her body. She believes she will be healed but the doctors want to call hospice since they believe she has less than 6 months and the cancer has spread to her ankle bones.

Another guy who was a rough tough Harley riding thug made the poor choice of making friends with a preacher... Yeah he and his wife got saved. But was able to keep his rough friends and got many of them saved. His wife also came up with cancer and lost a long hard fought battle. I remember so clearly when he quietly turned to me one day and said, "I feel like my prayers are hitting the ceiling" meaning God wasn't hearing him.

My grandmother died of colon cancer. My father has had colon cancer.

I once was in culinary school. One day in classes right before Christmas break at semester's end Bill started going above and beyond in helping us out with daily chores (making stock and dishes). I pulled him aside and asked what was up. He said it was his dream to come to culinary school but that his dream was over as stomach cancer had come back and that after Christmas he wouldn't be.
He wouldn't get to stir a pot again.

And there are plenty of unmentioned others that I've known over the years that have had their lives cut short by this cruel illness.

My wife works as a grant manager for a research scientist who thinks she has a true intervention to keep people from ever getting colon cancer... About 60% of the cases. So no matter what I won't let her quit her job.

But I am tired and worn out from cancer.
I'm sick of losing to this virus that slowly and painfully takes good people.

I could fill pages of first hand accounts of close friends and relatives that I've had to watch slowly die from cancer. It's heart breaking, every, time. Life is never pretty, in the end.
 
This afternoon Julie lost her battle with cancer and gained the Kingdom of Heaven.
Her family is in relief mode currently... Eating cookies.

Next comes the funeral... And the hordes.

Guilt comes later.
Then profound loss.

Mood swings all along the way.

Deep breaths.... Grace, mercy and of course patience.
 
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