Dear readers - thank you for reading, i appreciate your time. My husband and I have been married for 10 years, all of which all his siblings have hated me. It all started with gossips. Intially they would visit, one by one, I would welcome them with open arms and entertainment. We would laugh and joke - or so I thought. The visitor would then leave and start a gossip with the other person about how mean I had been to them and how I had denied them any food and locked myself up in the bedroom. This was always untrue, and my husband and I would laugh about it when. No one approached me directly with any issues they have, which was basically nothing because I was always kind hearted and welcoming to them.
They would trick my husband to get into a conference call, where they would try to convince him how mean I was. He tried to defend me all the time, but finally started losing his cool and the conference calls turned into yelling matches. This went on all the time.
We had our son, and since I was sick due to child birth complications, he asked his mother to move in and help after I returned from the hospital. She came in, and started taking care of my son. From the first day when I returned home, I was cooking and cleaning and doing all housework because I didn't want to look lazy. In turn, she would help watch my son especially when I went to the gym for an hour - I am a fitness freak. My husband's siblings - none of whom was talking to me at this time, would call her and try to poison her mind with all the 'mean' things I had done. She is a great gossiper and would also add her juicy bits and pieces to the strory. My husband and I chose to ignore her - she would talk loudly on the phone as we listened.
I went back to work and this is where the problems escalated. To show our appreciation, we started giving her a monthly allowance, clothing allowance, spa treatment, manicure, pedicure, hair salon, everything she wanted. The gossiping continued, and it now became 'she needed more allowance', she needed more expensive clothes and not sale items' , she wanted to go on a cruise to Jamaica, she was bored and wanted to take a break. She would not tell us this directly, but we could hear her yelling on the phone expressing this to her other children. She started talking to our neighbors and telling everyone who cared to listen about her evil daughter in law who bought her cheap clothes and did not pay her enough.
My husband and I discussed her unrest, prayed about it as a couple, then sat down with her and told her it's OK, she can visit her other children for a change but could come to visit anytime. We told her we would place my son in day-care. She turned belligerent, accused me of turning her son against her, being a whore since I went back to work, said she is not leaving, she will stay there forever, and asked me to leave instead. I never said a word, but my husband said that's disrespectful. She ran upstairs and locked herself in her room, got on the phone, and we could hear her yelling and reporting to her husband and children that I had kicked her out of the house.
We put her on a flight after two days(with a lot of presents), because the house had become a like a battle field. She has turned ALL the family members against me, and no one is taking to my husband. When they do, they are urging him to get a divorce because I have alienated him from everyone. My husband says it's OK, he but I fear that the poison will eventually get to him.
What did I do wrong? How can I mend this relationship as a Christian? How can we honor our parents when they try to break up marriages? I keep calling my mother in law to make amends, sending her gifts and showing her that I love and care, but she always picks a fight and starts to scream on the phone that I kicked her out, she says wishes I could die.
They would trick my husband to get into a conference call, where they would try to convince him how mean I was. He tried to defend me all the time, but finally started losing his cool and the conference calls turned into yelling matches. This went on all the time.
We had our son, and since I was sick due to child birth complications, he asked his mother to move in and help after I returned from the hospital. She came in, and started taking care of my son. From the first day when I returned home, I was cooking and cleaning and doing all housework because I didn't want to look lazy. In turn, she would help watch my son especially when I went to the gym for an hour - I am a fitness freak. My husband's siblings - none of whom was talking to me at this time, would call her and try to poison her mind with all the 'mean' things I had done. She is a great gossiper and would also add her juicy bits and pieces to the strory. My husband and I chose to ignore her - she would talk loudly on the phone as we listened.
I went back to work and this is where the problems escalated. To show our appreciation, we started giving her a monthly allowance, clothing allowance, spa treatment, manicure, pedicure, hair salon, everything she wanted. The gossiping continued, and it now became 'she needed more allowance', she needed more expensive clothes and not sale items' , she wanted to go on a cruise to Jamaica, she was bored and wanted to take a break. She would not tell us this directly, but we could hear her yelling on the phone expressing this to her other children. She started talking to our neighbors and telling everyone who cared to listen about her evil daughter in law who bought her cheap clothes and did not pay her enough.
My husband and I discussed her unrest, prayed about it as a couple, then sat down with her and told her it's OK, she can visit her other children for a change but could come to visit anytime. We told her we would place my son in day-care. She turned belligerent, accused me of turning her son against her, being a whore since I went back to work, said she is not leaving, she will stay there forever, and asked me to leave instead. I never said a word, but my husband said that's disrespectful. She ran upstairs and locked herself in her room, got on the phone, and we could hear her yelling and reporting to her husband and children that I had kicked her out of the house.
We put her on a flight after two days(with a lot of presents), because the house had become a like a battle field. She has turned ALL the family members against me, and no one is taking to my husband. When they do, they are urging him to get a divorce because I have alienated him from everyone. My husband says it's OK, he but I fear that the poison will eventually get to him.
What did I do wrong? How can I mend this relationship as a Christian? How can we honor our parents when they try to break up marriages? I keep calling my mother in law to make amends, sending her gifts and showing her that I love and care, but she always picks a fight and starts to scream on the phone that I kicked her out, she says wishes I could die.
