Interacial Relationships

[Nikki]

My in-laws are VERY predjudice. I can't stand it. But, that's the way they were raised. My husband is to a point. The point being that he thinks interacial relationships are wrong.

My in-laws argue that God said for us to stay with our own kind...meaning whites with whites, blacks with blacks, hispanics with hispanics, etc.

I argue that God means humans with humans.

What's your belief on this?

 

[Heidi Mighty Mo]

That was applying to the Old Testament times when God was wanting the Israelites to stay seperate. It wasn't even a racial issue - I believe it was more of a "family" issue. He had set aside the Israelites for a purpose and Jesus was to come from the tribe of Judah.

I do not believe this applies to any other "race" and am not sure it even still applies to the Jews now. There may be someone else out there that knows more about that and I hjope they can share with us because that is interesting.

At least as far as everyone else goes, since we are all the same in God's eyes, why would He care if the person we married had a different color of skin. Let's face it, how many of us Americans are decendants from many different countries. In all reality, we decended from Adam and Eve and so there is no difference. We all have the same "color" of skin, some of us just have more melanin than others. I have brown eyes and my husband has blue - does that mean we shouldn't have married? I am more Italian and French, where he is of Hungarian decent - is that interracial?

Anyway - what I am trying to say in all that is no, I do not believe it is wrong.

 

[Nikki]

That's another thing about my in-laws....they're all about being "American". They once said something about the British and I flew off the handle. My grandma is British. She was born in England and lived there until she met my grandpa (he was in the US army stationed in England). Her whole family background is British.

Then there's my grandpa's background. He has Irish and Scottish in him (his grandpas side, I think). Then my dad who has a nice tan all year long because he has Cherokee Indian in him. My great uncle is Cherokee Indian. His name ( I kid you not) is Chief!

I love my in-laws...they're really not terrible people. But I hate their ignorance. There is not ONE TIME we've been over there that a racist comment hasn't been made. It ALWAYS comes up and I have no clue WHY! His dad used to say the "N" word around us, but after we had Kailey I told him that if he EVER used that word in front of my children that he would never see them again. :x

 

[Totentanz]

I can commiserate...

I'm from a giant city where all the "crazies" live. Raised just outside of Hollywood (Atwater Village to be exact)...I thought it would be nice to live in PA for awhile and take care of an elderly relative and go to school again...

I'm used to experiencing racism TOWARDS MYSELF (I'm, y'know...white. Went to schools that had a predominantly Mexican student body...they would pick on me...I'm over it!). Here in small-town PA it's the opposite! People I used to work with (I worked some horrible blue-collar temp jobs when I first got into town...I even drove a small truck for short while...now I'm in a nice mentally stultifying office job) would use the "N" word in polite conversation...even the more tolerant people (my girlfriend's relatives included) wouldn't agree with "their own daughter" marrying a black person or whatever (I've met both of the black people in this town...they're very nice folks!).

"Different strokes" is how I rationalize...but you're right, niki...it's really about being consigned to ignorance and cultural intolerance (every time I eat out at my little Indian place...I always hear some local complaining about the spiciness of the food...even though the food's totally dumbed down in order to keep the business alive. I have to order curry powder on the side!)

In L.A., you'll tire yourself out by being a racist. Believe it or not I actually know a couple bigoted people there as well (they have problems with Mexicans...Hey! They really chose a great place to live!).

Personally, I wouldn't care if I was the last white person on the planet.

I like this passage by John Watson Alvord a lot:

Equality of character and culture were the true conditions of equality in social life...

 

[Heidi Mighty Mo]

Good for you! I have in laws that think that way too. They are very sweet people (other than their prejudice) and I love them but they have learned not to talk that way around me!

It amazes me that there are people like that still today - it is like none of them seem to realize that they have decended from several "races" themselves! I think they choose to stay blind to the fact that they aren't a "Pure Race". GRRR!

 

[Bryan]

It's a sign of their generation too. I know several 'older people' that have derogatory feelings toward other cultures, but they don't even notice it.

They say things like, "I was talking to this guy at the burger joint the other day, and he was a (insert derogatory racial slur here), but you know what? He was OK."

If you challenge them on that, they'd be defensive. "I'm not racist, I said he was OK!"

 

[Homeskillet]

Racism. So prevalent even today. It is sad. nikki, I will pray for your in-laws.

I, too have had some of that within my own family. My ex-husband is Puerto-Rican. My mom HATED him because of it. She never even had one conversation with him before writing him off which led to her basically disowning me. She told me as long as I was with him, she wanted nothing to do with me, so for almost a year, we didn't speak at all. We lost all contact with one another and we lived less than 5 miles from one another.

Then I got the news I was pregnant and called to let her know. At first she gave me the "Oh, great....that's just what we need" blah blah blah....but then she came around. One day out of the blue she called and my ex answered the phone. She said, "I was just wondering if you and Josie would like to come over for dinner this weekend?" He about had a heart attack! So, we went and she apologized. I guess the fact that I was going to have a child change her perspective a little, because she said she could never look at her grandchild with anything but love no matter what the color of her skin was. My mom was in the delivery room with me and has a completely different outlook on it all now.

Change is possible. God is bigger than racism and He can help your in-laws see the truth. :D

Here is my daugher....she may be half PuertoRican and half white, but she is my little miracle....(Probably the only good thing my ex was ever good for....lol)

 

[Totentanz]

Now the hard part for someone like me is being TOLERANT of the views of a racist (which, I have to admit, seems easier for me to do if the racist isn't white). Everyone is shaped in some way by the environment they're in or from ...Myself included. If I had said the "N" word in front of my pops...he probably would've dealt me a nice smack right on the kisser!

I've never succeeded in CHANGING the views of someone else...maybe my arguments are too weak!

 

[Heidi Mighty Mo]

She is so beautiful!

Josie - that story reminds me so much of Bruce Lee and his wife. Same thing happened there until Brandon was born - then there was that healing when the mom came to see her new grandbaby Cool story (at least the end!), thanks for sharing!!

 

[baylok]

I have to agree with Bryan, that in some instances, racism is generational.

My mom, dad, and their parents were around in the 40s, 50s, and the 60s. They lived in a society where certain races were treated as second class citizens. While society in general has changed, their generation has not (or has changed slower).

 

[Mike01075]

I always believed that "unevenly yoked" applied to believers and non-believers. I am French Canadian and my wife is Chilean. We both have different ethinic backgrounds that the children will love and enjoy but the biggest thing we have in common is our relationship with our Lord and Savior. With Him as our priority, everything else is a minority. :wink:

 

[Jack Lewis]

In the 50's almost every one was a segregationist.

In the 60's some wanted to desegregate.

In the 70's desegregation was seen as a positive goal, but many older people hated it.

In the 80's desegregation was seen as inevitable, the older people just grumbled quietly to themselves.

In the 90's we realized that while the rest of the coutntry was trying to desgregate, many minority populations weren't, and were actually fighting it. Most MLK parades were held in the voluntarily segregated neighborhoods.

In the 00's we wonder why the very people who wanted us to segregate, won't do it themselves. And we regret the opportunity they have taken from us, that desegregation always provides. And of course we know we can't mention this fact, lest those who still voluntarily segregate themselves, call us "bigots"

More irony that I can stand.

 

[Totentanz]

In the 00's we wonder why the very people who wanted us to segregate, won't do it themselves. And we regret the opportunity they have taken from us, that desegregation always provides. And of course we know we can't mention this fact, lest those who still voluntarily segregate themselves, call us "bigots"

More irony that I can stand.

Hey Jack...what's up?
Could you clarify this passage a little for me? I was following you up until this last paragraph...mostly the first two sentences...

What's ironic exactly?

 

[Blue-Lightning]

Community makeup has more to do with socioeconomic status currently than any other criteria.

BL

 

[Jack Lewis]

In the 00's we wonder why the very people who wanted us to segregate, won't do it themselves. And we regret the opportunity they have taken from us, that desegregation always provides. And of course we know we can't mention this fact, lest those who still voluntarily segregate themselves, call us "bigots"

More irony that I can stand.

Hey Jack...what's up?
Could you clarify this passage a little for me? I was following you up until this last paragraph...mostly the first two sentences...

What's ironic exactly?

There's a typo in the first sentence -- segregate should be desegregate. America remains segregated because the vast majority of Blacks in America choose to live in voluntarily segregated neighborhoods.

 

[Totentanz]

Uh, I don't think that's the sole reason...even if it's true it should have no bearing on your life. I have personal experience with small towns full of white bigots (like the one I live in now) who'd rather not be bothered with "colored" people...You have to be pretty dense or a racist yourself to not notice how pointless it is in this day and age.

My experience in Florida has been the most desegregated...most of my friends were black...

In L.A., for the most part, they "stick to their own kind"...that's their decision and I'm not going to pretend that they're still not demoralized or disempowerd in any way...The white race is on top in this country, so I can afford a little racism in my direction...why not? It won't affect how I live.

Questioning why they do this is not being a bigot, though...People will be able to tell by looking into your eyes what you mean by the question...

At the same time there's nothing you can do outside of your own home to speed the desegregation process along...

BUT, this is one of those things that will never happen (vanishing racism). I shouldn't worry about what other people think anyway...it'll just make me nuts.