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Internship away from husband?

TeeLeef

TeeLeef

Member
Greetings and welcome to my thread! :)

I have a big decision to make this coming year, and I need some help deciding what to do. First of all, I have prayed to God and am awaiting His guidance in the situation, but in the meantime I thought I would seek out some wisdom-filled perspectives from some Men and Women of God.

So, what's up?
Well, you see, I am a nursing student with only three semesters to go until I graduate. Usually in the summer semester before graduation, nursing students find an internship to gather hospital experience, and there are a few competitive ones offered through my program that are close to home which I will apply for in March. Nevertheless, because my program doesn't offer enough internships for everybody, we are encouraged to apply to other internships as well. I found one paid-10 week-internship starting in June which I will need to apply to by January. I am eligible to apply for it, and it would pay a good bit and provide housing. It is a major hospital, and it would be an amazing experience.

But...
The hospital is located 14 hours away from my husband...many many states away. And it would mean 10 weeks of not being with him. We do not have children, but we do have an inside dog :)

So what's the big deal?
Well, my husband and I have been married 2 and 1/2 years, and we pretty much do everything together. He is my best friend! It would be a major adjustment for the both of us. I miss him now just thinking about it!

And on top of it all,
Our 3-year anniversary falls in June. Which I would miss. Because I would be working. 14 hours away.

So what did my husband say?
I discussed it with my husband, and he said that, of course, I should apply for it. But I know of course, that it would be hard on him, and me.

So,
Would this internship really be worth being away from my husband for 10 weeks? And would being away for that long actually be a violation of my duties as a wife to my husband?

What are your thoughts?

Thanks for taking the time to read my long post, and thanks especially for your advice!
TeeLeef :)
 
Thanks for your supportive response, Kiwidan! Many of the points you shared are going through my head as well.

No oath sworn, except to love and care for him until the end of my days. I certainly do feel responsible to fill his needs and desires. Of course, as I said before, I do have his support to go for this internship. He is a great guy!

Again, thank you, Kiwidan :goodpost
 
If he is willing to support you, then do it knowing it will be tough.

My wife supported me when I went to night school for computers for 20 months straight. I would work my 40 hours with 4 to 10 hours of overtime as a roofer and go directly to school. Often, I would leave at 6am and get home at 10:30 pm 4 days a week. Without her support, I wouldn't have made it.

Was it difficult? Yes. BTW, my son was born somewhere in the middle of all that and I remember thinking, I'm missing this time with my child and that almost caused me to drop out. But my wife supported me.

Your husband has to support you in this, or it isn't going yo work and like the other said, 14 hours isn't that far away if you have the money for gas.

Like my schooling, it is an investment for your future and the future for your family. Just don't let short term separations become a habit in your relationship with your husband and all should be well.
 
TeeLeef said:
Greetings and welcome to my thread! :)

I have a big decision to make this coming year, and I need some help deciding what to do. First of all, I have prayed to God and am awaiting His guidance in the situation, but in the meantime I thought I would seek out some wisdom-filled perspectives from some Men and Women of God.

So, what's up?
Well, you see, I am a nursing student with only three semesters to go until I graduate. Usually in the summer semester before graduation, nursing students find an internship to gather hospital experience, and there are a few competitive ones offered through my program that are close to home which I will apply for in March. Nevertheless, because my program doesn't offer enough internships for everybody, we are encouraged to apply to other internships as well. I found one paid-10 week-internship starting in June which I will need to apply to by January. I am eligible to apply for it, and it would pay a good bit and provide housing. It is a major hospital, and it would be an amazing experience.

But...
The hospital is located 14 hours away from my husband...many many states away. And it would mean 10 weeks of not being with him. We do not have children, but we do have an inside dog :)

So what's the big deal?
Well, my husband and I have been married 2 and 1/2 years, and we pretty much do everything together. He is my best friend! It would be a major adjustment for the both of us. I miss him now just thinking about it!

And on top of it all,
Our 3-year anniversary falls in June. Which I would miss. Because I would be working. 14 hours away.

So what did my husband say?
I discussed it with my husband, and he said that, of course, I should apply for it. But I know of course, that it would be hard on him, and me.

So,
Would this internship really be worth being away from my husband for 10 weeks? And would being away for that long actually be a violation of my duties as a wife to my husband?

What are your thoughts?

Thanks for taking the time to read my long post, and thanks especially for your advice!
TeeLeef :)
Click to expand...
TL,
Before I was saved, at 45, I had three wives that divorced me for an assortment of reasons, none for my actions. I was a low level Country Music singer/guitarist that was constantly approached by women but I did not cheat, not once. None of them belied that, of course. If you two are separated for ten weeks, plus time for two moves, Satan will attack.

I advise against this course. My LORD saw to it that I am married, the first time as a Christian, even though I had quit considering that course, and I would not go out of her sight for more than a work day.

May God give you His advice and bless your union.
 
Don't get me wrong, I seriously have no problem with you accepting that position if you feel that if what the Lord wants you to do. However, my husband and I do everything together just like you with your husband. He tried a career that took him out of town for about a year. He was gone for about half of the month and home the other half. First, we missed each other so much that we could hardly stand it. Second, we live way out in the country and I was alone most of the time. We have a business on our property and I had to take care of all the business. I did it, but it was difficult sometimes. We have a horse and two dogs that needed care. I did that also.

So we decided that he should take three months off and see what the Lord would do. He increased out home business to the point that my husband does not have to go out as much. He may have to go once every three months for a week now, or maybe not at all.

With my experience, I would hate it. I would see if there was something closer so I would not have to be separated from my husband. But first and foremost, you need to pray for the Lord's guidance. You and your husband are not the only ones in the relationship. The Lord is the head of any Godly marriage. Let Him be your guide and if He wants you to go then go. He will provide everything you need.
 
First a little disclaimer. Both my wife and I were in our mid 30's when we got married and both in our second marriage so these conditions may have some impact on our situation. Now, with that aside, I will share my experience.

When my wife and I were first married I was working as a field service technician for my company. We are an industrial machinery manufacturer and we sell our products world-wide so as a field service technician I never knew from day to day where I might end up. For domestic jobs, our policy was to try our best to allow us travelers to be limited to two weeks on the road at a time but it didn't always work out that way. As a field service technician I calculated that when I factored in all the time I spent at home, it worked out to about 6 weeks of the year. In other words, about 90% of my total life was spent away from home.

At the time we did not have any children and we were glad for this. Eventually the Lord helped me make the decision to stop traveling so I could be at home more. My wife was about eight months pregnant when I had to take a trip along with my supervisor to one of our customer's facilities. It was during that trip that he informed me that he was given the clearance to create a new technical advisor position in our company and he asked if I would be interested in taking on that new position. It was also about this same time that my neighbor informed me that he wanted to scale back his farming business and would not be renting my farmland any more so I was faced with a decision whether to find another renter or farm it myself, which was something that interested me. With all this in mind I decided to accept the new position even though it resulted in about a 25% loss in annual revenue. Traveling abroad came with a lot of overtime hours, weekend and Sunday premiums, as well as holiday pay and this added up significantly. Despite the loss in pay, it turned out to be the best decision I think I ever made.

When I was working abroad like I was, aside from not getting to spend time together as we wanted, we had to learn to work around many various issues as they arose.

I can recall one time when I called home and my wife told me we only had lights in half the house and the electric range wouldn't get very hot. This was before I upgraded the electrical system in our home and so we still had fuses scattered in three different fuse panels in our home. That's another story and the main reason I upgraded the system. Anyway, from memory I had to tell her how to use an analog meter to test and isolate the blown fuse in the system. I remember as she was looking at the main power panel to our home and telling her, "You see those two big lugs with those large wires coming in on the top?" "Yes." "Well....DON'T TOUCH THEM!" She got through it alright and got power restored.

I remember calling home to find out we had no heat in the house because the fuel oil barrel for our furnace sat outside and it got cold enough to gel the fuel. I remember her telling me we had no water because we had a pretty good snow storm and snow blew into the 3 cubic foot box that contained our well pump and plugged it up so bad the heater I had in there shorted out and the water line froze so she had to figure out a way to get the system running again.

Moral of this story? Traveling abroad will introduce situations and challenges. Be sure you are ready and willing to accept them before you make your decision. My mother once told me, "Never put your job ahead of your family. It's not worth it."
 
I would first pray about it of course, but you mentioned the possibility of getting in one of hospitals near you. So apply for both the ones near you and the one 14 hours away and see if you get the one near your home first.
 
10 weeks is not a long time.....
The 17 years my husband worked away from home, about 9 months per year coming home on week ends. Was very hard to overcome...we each got set in our own lives... we had been married 20 years.... If you do this consider a way to met each other. via a flight or two...
 
I can't say about your circumstances, but it would be painful for my wife and me to be at a distance for so long.

Some couples in time of war are called upon to be apart because one of them wears military uniform overseas. A past neighbor of mine didn't see his wife for 5 years because he was overseas with the military, during WW2. But this was involuntary.

I guess in the final analysis what you're proposing is voluntary action on your part.
 
Hi TeeLeef, first I just love you guys picture, you are just too cute!

I'm not going to tell you about how much my husband has had to work away home and still does. But....

When my middle daughter was in college she was home for the summer and she started dating a young man that we had known for sometime. By the end of the summer they had gotten to be quite good friends. She still had 3.5 yrs. left to earn a 4 yrs. degree. She had started in January.
He had a really good job here, he's a structural engineer, and owned property that he farms and cattle, so he couldn't move closer to her school. She was going to school 9.5 hrs. away.
Over the next 3.5 yrs, he would go to see her over 3 day holidays and she came home for Christmas and summers, and of coarse they would talk on the phone. He'd go there for his vacations over the winter months.
They got engaged during that third year. She graduated, came home, they got married, and now have 2 darling little ones, and a wonderful marriage of 9 yrs. now.

I just spoke with her on the phone because I want to make sure I got the yrs. right and I told her about your thread.
She giggled and ahh..d, and this is what she said.....
You are best friends, you will be fine. She said that when you do get together when you can, it can be fresh and so much fun.
She also said, that you and your husband are being very smart about things. Looking at your future you never know what is coming. You being well educated can take a lot of burden off of him. I'm sure he is very proud of you. And he has given you the OK. Don't worry about the wifely duties, that is between you and your husband. No one here knows the two of you. Best friends trust each other. :)

You are praying and asking the Lord's guidance and you can trust Him.
God Bless both of you and your future together with Him.
 
TeeLeef said:
Greetings and welcome to my thread! :)

I have a big decision to make this coming year, and I need some help deciding what to do. First of all, I have prayed to God and am awaiting His guidance in the situation, but in the meantime I thought I would seek out some wisdom-filled perspectives from some Men and Women of God.

So, what's up?
Well, you see, I am a nursing student with only three semesters to go until I graduate. Usually in the summer semester before graduation, nursing students find an internship to gather hospital experience, and there are a few competitive ones offered through my program that are close to home which I will apply for in March. Nevertheless, because my program doesn't offer enough internships for everybody, we are encouraged to apply to other internships as well. I found one paid-10 week-internship starting in June which I will need to apply to by January. I am eligible to apply for it, and it would pay a good bit and provide housing. It is a major hospital, and it would be an amazing experience.

But...
The hospital is located 14 hours away from my husband...many many states away. And it would mean 10 weeks of not being with him. We do not have children, but we do have an inside dog :)

So what's the big deal?
Well, my husband and I have been married 2 and 1/2 years, and we pretty much do everything together. He is my best friend! It would be a major adjustment for the both of us. I miss him now just thinking about it!

And on top of it all,
Our 3-year anniversary falls in June. Which I would miss. Because I would be working. 14 hours away.

So what did my husband say?
I discussed it with my husband, and he said that, of course, I should apply for it. But I know of course, that it would be hard on him, and me.

So,
Would this internship really be worth being away from my husband for 10 weeks? And would being away for that long actually be a violation of my duties as a wife to my husband?

What are your thoughts?

Thanks for taking the time to read my long post, and thanks especially for your advice!
TeeLeef :)
Click to expand...

Hi again, TeeLeef
Wow, my youngest just reminded me of this. You both can set up a Skype account. It doesn't cost anything when used from computer to computer, or ipad, etc. You'll be able to see each other every day!
My son-in-laws family lives on the east coast. They Skype a lot, especially the grand babies with his parents.
You'll even be able to tell him he needs to shave! lol
 
Dear Kiwidan, Stovebolts, Thb1.taylor, Sandy Zalecki, WIP, Jeff77, Reba, Farouk, Deborah13, and TheCurseoftheRodain,

How blessed I am to have access to such wisdom-and-experience-filled advice, perspectives, and stories from fellow Men and Women of God. By reading each of your posts, I was challenged to consider the varying advantages and disadvantages of spending 10 weeks away from my husband for the purpose of working at a prestigious hospital many states away as an intern.

Originally, I felt torn between the two decisions. "Which decision is the right decision?" I pondered. By reading your posts, I have come to this conclusion: there is no right or wrong answer- There is simply a decision to be made. Both will have advantages and disadvantages. Both include the support of my husband, and with both I feel like I would have the approval of my Heavenly Father.

With the freedom to choose either decision, I proceeded to ask myself, "Well, what is it that you want?" So I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what this summer would be like at the internship away from home. Exciting, engaging, and challenging was the idea of living in a new city and working at this incredible hospital. Exhilarated, I basked in the idea of choosing to pursue the internship. What a great adventure it would be!

And then such a strong pang of emptiness and loneliness filled me. Yes, he would come see me sometimes. Yes, I could skype and see my Darling on my iPad. Nevertheless, the idea of not having him there in person everyday took my breath away. He is my other half- my greatest adventure. So I made my decision, and I pray that God opens up to me an amazing internship close to home.

Both were good decisions. Maybe you would have chose a different one...? In the end, being separated from my other half seemed to me too great a sacrifice.

Thank you all for your wise insight into my life's present predicament!

God bless you and yours,

Teeleef
 
TeeLeef said:
Dear Kiwidan, Stovebolts, Thb1.taylor, Sandy Zalecki, WIP, Jeff77, Reba, Farouk, Deborah13, and TheCurseoftheRodain,

How blessed I am to have access to such wisdom-and-experience-filled advice, perspectives, and stories from fellow Men and Women of God. By reading each of your posts, I was challenged to consider the varying advantages and disadvantages of spending 10 weeks away from my husband for the purpose of working at a prestigious hospital many states away as an intern.

Originally, I felt torn between the two decisions. "Which decision is the right decision?" I pondered. By reading your posts, I have come to this conclusion: there is no right or wrong answer- There is simply a decision to be made. Both will have advantages and disadvantages. Both include the support of my husband, and with both I feel like I would have the approval of my Heavenly Father.

With the freedom to choose either decision, I proceeded to ask myself, "Well, what is it that you want?" So I closed my eyes and tried to imagine what this summer would be like at the internship away from home. Exciting, engaging, and challenging was the idea of living in a new city and working at this incredible hospital. Exhilarated, I basked in the idea of choosing to pursue the internship. What a great adventure it would be!

And then such a strong pang of emptiness and loneliness filled me. Yes, he would come see me sometimes. Yes, I could skype and see my Darling on my iPad. Nevertheless, the idea of not having him there in person everyday took my breath away. He is my other half- my greatest adventure. So I made my decision, and I pray that God opens up to me an amazing internship close to home.

Both were good decisions. Maybe you would have chose a different one...? In the end, being separated from my other half seemed to me too great a sacrifice.

Thank you all for your wise insight into my life's present predicament!

God bless you and yours,

Teeleef
Click to expand...
You a blessed to have such a great marriage. My God richly bless you in your endeavors together.
 
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