[__ Prayer __] Is this to be expected?

[Christ_empowered]

I had a hard life pre Jesus. At age 28 I came to my senses and truly repented. I’d shown an interest in Jesus Christ previously but…? All I can say is that God spared me throughout and He has moved mightily in my life since I came to my senses. I’m 40 now.

So…I live in a small city near my parents who still live in a small town and the junk and static I get around the area are…

Pretty much 10-12 years ago repeating as if on loop .

I came to my senses on bond. I went from potentially facing 15 years in prison to doing 3 years probation for a class a misdemeanor. Because apparently this state has draconian punishment for everything lol I think in most states misdemeanors carry at most one year?! Not here…

So anyway I keep getting heckled and such and I haven’t been arrested since I bonded out 12 years ago. No drugs I don’t even drink. I’m apparently schizophrenic but high functioning and I somehow have a high iq estimate which is a blessing especially since a lot of people lose estimated iq as schizophrenia progresses.

So I dunno I’m doing well enough to potentially transition from the clinic to a doctor here locally for med management etc so it’s not as if I’m trapped in some bizarre world of delusions etc. and…

My long suffering parents bought a place for me 6 years ago. I’m doing reasonably well now living somewhat autonomously. I get more help than I can even pretend to deserve. And…

I dunno I get that schizophrenia itself is stigmatized and I’m now 40 schizophrenic and I have a conviction but…?

I’m reasonably well dressed clean and I even shave every other day. And there are other schizophrenic people who get family support around here although..,

Side note: even relatively high functioning schizophrenic people are being warehoused in group homes. It’s a real problem and it scares me .

I’ve never been committed or even been in a state hospital . I’ve only been hospitalized twice and the last stint was over 15 years ago. So it’s weird to me that people openly talk about putting me away?

So…praying for what I need to bear up under it and not be miserable just because I’m still an outcast. Schizophrenic people are generally not super successful or high status. Maybe it’s because I live in modest but normal conditions?

I dunno

Thanks

 

[hawkman]

Side note: even relatively high functioning schizophrenic people are being warehoused in group homes. It’s a real problem and it scares me .

I am holding you up in prayer Christ_empowered no need to be afraid . God understands .